Christmas Story - Present and Future!

The title of the post already says what Christmas present is like. Yeah Eve been in a whirlwind of things to do that she has to write 2 chapters into 1.

This hardly feels like holiday to Eve. Eve has ridiculous deadlines even during this time and probably even more so during this period. But that's in preparation for good things next year :)

Well, let's talk about the present first.

Eve has found great friends this year. Eve feels blessed she has found like-minded new friends and found more meaningful friendships amongst people she used to be less acquainted with. To my friends who put up with me, thank you sooo much...

Eve is looking very much to taking better care of herself. A card reader said Eve tends to work and play hard which leaves little room for rest. You will not believe the amounts of money Eve is spending so that she can be more healthy again. Love your body!!

Eve is learning new things now. Eve can also speak a little Korean now and really hopes she can go back to finish on her bike license and maintain her muay thai training.

As one can see, Eve's life is quite full of things *laughs*

Frankly, Eve is under quite a lot of work stress currently and is looking forward to a real holiday next year...which brings us to Christmas future!

Ahhh future...2007 looks to be busy and exciting for Eve. A lot of things will be happening for the studio and Eve will be able to learn some dances she always wanted to learn *yay!*

Work wise, Eve has big targets to meet for 2007. Eve is pondering how to meet them but honestly, there is little choice for Eve. Eve hopes she can finish the unexpected business that popped up and focus on the things she really wants to do. Eve is praying to God for assistance.

Eve also looks set to be able to travel more in 2007. Eve is absolutely looking forward to a peaceful holiday in Koh Samui, a beautiful wedding in Mauritius and hopefully a short break in Desaru and a learning experience in Korea.

Eve is ABSOLUTELY looking forward to Bi's concert on 21 January!!!!!!!! He's coming! *jumps in happiness*

Eve is looking forward to meeting more people, making more friends and establishing more connections with people. According to a few readers, there are supposedly interested parties around Eve but Eve is not interested. Frankly, Eve can see none so there's no interest to speak of la. Let's see how 2007 goes...

Eve resolves...make that RESOLVES...to control her temper, be more patient, have better time management, take better care of herself and find more balance in 2o07. Eve will promise to try really hard ok?

Eve will be a good gal in 2007...she hopes. *grin*

Now for more music...I am not a fan of Se7en but this song grows on you...plus the HOT ending..

La La La - Se7en

Festive Ponder

Ahhhh festive periods, especially those at the end of a year, has this effect of making people ponder over their lives.

I hear about people saying they feel empty in their lives or unhappy etc. It seems like a modern syndrome to be unhappy. It is pleasantly unusual to meet happy people.

This is only the people who will even admit it.

Most people don’t even admit it or even realize it. It’s just “something bugging me, something missing” and dismissed off. The problem is, it becomes quite an irritating itch.
Eve is no guru because she is also guilty but Eve made a few observations. To Eve, emptiness and unhappiness comes from a few ways:

1) One does not have what one wants.
2) What one has is not what one wants i.e. settling for less
3) One does not even know what one wants.

Sounds cliché right? You will be amazed at how we humans fail to grasp the most basic and simplest of things.

The result is a state of unrest in the mind. Some people do something about it. Most live with it. Eve calls it the shipwreck analogy. It is like one after a shipwreck. One floats on a piece of wood hoping to reach shore. One will not die but the journey is not pleasant.

Talk about journey. I wrote about setting a goal and beating a path there versus taking a longer route where one can smell the flowers. The balance is always intricate. How does one get to where one wants to go, provided he or she knows the destination, and yet find space to enjoy the journey? Eve is trying to enjoy the journey more…”go with the flow of things more” as they call it.

However, Eve also realizes not all flowers are healthy. Some may look nice on the outside but poison you to no end when you take it in long enough. Eve does not doubt the need to stop and smell the flowers but one must know when the path itself may no longer be beneficial anymore. Sometimes one gets so distracted or poisoned that one loses sight of where wants to go.

The ironical thing is, some even realize it’s not right anymore but continue to stay in the same place. It is far easier to stay than to change. Putting one’s foot down to say no is often much harder than it seems because change is almost often a challenging experience even if it is better for the long run. Eve has met friends who would rather accept bad behavior that will hurt them in the long run because they are not willing to wait.

Eve is coming to terms with this herself because Eve realises that by accepting bad things means this is how much worth Eve gives herself – little.

We often underestimate how seemingly unrelated or small regular doses of anger and frustration do to us. People always say childhood has an important bearing on one’s adult life. Eve totally agrees.

The same goes for staying in a state of unhappiness. The longer it is, the more poisonous it becomes and the harder for it to go away. I use poison because that is exactly what it is. It even affects one’s health. At this point, one can probably see what Eve is getting at.

Yes…settling for less, unhappiness, emptiness and all things alike…can be a comfort zone.

Go Weak In The Knees

Thanks to my friend who watches a lot of Korean variety shows, I get a lot of recommendations of amazing performances...

This guy has such an AMAZING voice...didn't expect his voice to be like that from his face...They are supposed to propose to the gals in this segment of the show and he used this song called "Go Hae"...Man I felt my knees go weak when I heard it...

Go Hae - Tei

Hwah!

I've always loved this song. It never fails to move me.

If you knew how tough it is to sing this classic by Stevie Wonder, especially with such sharp pronounciation by a Korean, you'd understand why I say "Hwah!".

I so wish I had a better quality version of this video.

Lately - Sung Si Kyung

The Man Within The Woman, Woman Within The Man

While everyone is enjoying the holidays, this is one of the busiest work periods for Eve. Eve hardly has time to check her emails regularly. Last night, Eve touched her bed and only managed this 5 minutes before going off to a full day again.

Eve is happy with her life as it is...purposeful busy-ness I call it.

There are things Eve misses though.

Eve misses time with family especially her little girl, time with friends and time for herself.

Eve doesn't mean to brag but sense of responsibility works Eve hard. Working often calls upon Eve to be masculine because Eve works like a man. In that sense, sometimes Eve doesn't feel very female much nowadays because there is hardly time to be that.

Sometimes, Eve misses being a girl...a woman.

The Eve Notebook - Ferran Adria

Time has nominated him to be one of the most innovative people in culinary arts in the next wave here.

Meet Ferran Adria, "The Wizard Chef of El Bulli in Rosas, Spain".

Here's a sample of his style of food: molecular gastronomy, a combination of food and science.

Word is, his disciple opened a restaurant called Aurum in Clarke Quay. I want to try!

Word is the bill will come up to $130 per person *gasp* looks like this culinary adventure will have to wait a little bit more...

Happy Life

There is something one woman said in the book "Why Men Marry Bitches" that I absolutely agree and believe in.

"If I'm married, I'm going to be very happy. And if I'm single I'm going to live a great life and be happy also. So it's not really a priority." This is precisely what a bitch brings to a relationship that an insecure "nice girl" does not. A joy of life...a joie de vivre.

Sometimes I ask my gal friends what is it about marriage or being in a relationship that makes them so desire for it that they aren't interested in anything else. If there is so much of life to live, why just these things?

All women have insecurities. However, if the search for someone is simply to fill a void in one's life, then maybe what one needs to look at first is not a relationship, but oneself.

Think about what it points a guy to think..."Does she really love me or does she simply want me to fill a void? What's wrong with this woman?"

As much as men hate to admit it, they are vulnerable. It is because they are expected to be strong that they become even more vulnerable because they cannot afford to trip. Ladies, as much as there is much male-bashing going around, we have to admit many women do make use of men- financially, emotionally and hear this, sexually.

Imagine if you were the one who was being used to fill a void in his life and you knew that he didn't love you...what does that make him?

Will you be the one who will cling onto a float when you drop into the sea or you will swim to shore yourself because you know you CAN swim?

BITCH in the making

My gal friend told me I had to read "Why Men Marry Bitches" by Sherry Argov.

She proclaims it to be her bible these days.

From a break-up to a possible long term relationship, it sure sounded like a must-read.

I love this book!

It's funny for one thing. I giggled while reading it from ackowledgements to where I last stopped at. I stopped only because I had to do other things like teach and work. You won't want to put it down because it is very practical knowledge written in a satirical and humourous manner.

Here's a few favourite excerpts:

"When I use the word bitch, the woman I am describing is not cruel or mean.....The term is intended to be satirical, and does not take itself too seriously. I use it to describe a strong woman who has her own identity and is secure with who she is. She is plenty happy giving him "space" because she enjoys having hers. She is clear about what she will or will not accept. She'll back away at the slightest whiff of disrespect, and this makes her more exciting to a man, not less. That's the woman he dreams of marrying."

"I don't have time to be classified as difficult, and I don't have time to care." - Kim Basinger.

"Is she a warrior? Or will she be din-din? Before he becomes your knight in shining armor he wants to know, "Is she even worth defending?" "

BITCH stands for Babe In Total Control of Herself.

You gals should really read it for yourself. My personal take on it after giggling, seeing the things I used to do and the things I came to acquire myself and will do now even more so after reading it, is that the main theme is really about self-respect. Respecting oneself so that others may learn to respect you for that...and not bending over for someone who doesn't even think you are worth taking care of. I think even men themselves may not be aware that while they proclaim that they like nice women, they would be inevitably drawn to a "bitch". It's easy. Think about the bad boy syndrome with women.

I do not subscribe to the the idea of simply "creating" a life for oneself so as to prove to any man that one has a life. The men can probably tell when we are just playing hard to get versus "woah this gal really has a life she loves". The idea is to really become the woman who loves herself as well as her man. The lady with a REAL life.

I have had men who told me in the face they would appreciate it if the women knew how to take care of themselves and had the courage to stand up for themselves. They respect these women. If the man doesn't appreciate it, then get a man who does because they do exist.

I realise how anything that could have possibly gone wrong with my last relationship (if u can call it one) happened. Whatever I got right, I did it wrong then, Whatever I got wrong, I did it even more wrong. I was completely out of myself.

No more.

So ladies, get bitchy..get very biiiittcchhyyy heh heh heh

I Wanna Feel The Dance

There are times I feel bored or should I say emotion-less in dancing partner dances.

Not because my partner isn't good. In fact, they are often technically sound.

It's the feeling I am missing.

I have to agree a part of it is my responsibility. I have to let it out to feel it but how to let a flood of joy, passion, strength out when your partner is not reciprocating with the same amount of emotion?
How does one feel the true joy of dance and music if one does not fully feel the depth of the music and the passion of the dance?

Please do not be mistaken. This is not my idea of getting a man.

I used to like fast partner dances. Now I like to slow it down and be able to feel the music. Sometimes, I don't even do the technically sound stuff but I enjoy the music and the dance. I enjoy it even more when my partner is relaxed and indulges in the music.

Like actors often say, it is exciting to have a co-star who can bring out your potential and make the script come alive.

I am looking for partners to make the dance come alive...like this clip. Raw, fierce and brings out the story in the song.

Will there be such a day?

Do you have $31 Billion To Give Away?

There was a one hour interview on CNBC with Warren Buffet, the second richest man who has donated $31 billion to charity.

Here are some very interesting aspects of his life:

1) He bought his first share at age 11 and he now regrets that he started too late!
2) He bought a small farm at age 14 with savings from delivering newspapers.
3) He still lives in the same small 3 bedroom house in mid-town Omaha, that he bought after he got married 50 years ago. He says that he has everything he needs in that house. His house does not have a wall or a fence.
4) He drives his own car everywhere and does not have a driver or security people around him.
5) He never travels by private jet, although he owns the world's largest private jet company.
6) His company, Berkshire Hathaway, owns 63 companies. He writes only one letter each year to the CEOs of these companies, giving them goals for the year. He never holds meetings or calls them on a regular basis.
7) He has given his CEO's only two rules. Rule number 1: do not lose any of your share holder's money. Rule number 2: Do not forget rule number 1.
8) He does not socialize with the high society crowd. His past time after he gets home is to make himself some pop corn and watch television.
9) Bill Gates, the world's richest man met him for the first time only 5 years ago. Bill Gates did not think he had anything in common with Warren Buffet. So he had scheduled his meeting only for half hour. But when Gates met him, the meeting lasted for ten hours and Bill Gates became a devotee of Warren Buffet.
10) Warren Buffet does not carry a cell phone, nor has a computer on his desk.
11) His advice to young people: Stay away from credit cards and invest in yourself.

Sound words of wisdom! Well I only made point 11 - I don't have a credit card. As for the rest....well.....

Karmic Education

Eve just discovered she may have a talent she never knew she had.

Guess what? It seems Eve may have a talent at educating ex-boyfriends to be better to their NEW girlfriends. Read: Eve does not benefit from it. Eve doesn't even get paid by their new girlfriends.

Eve doesn't know if she was such a bad girlfriend or a good enough one for the men to learn how to treat women properly AFTER her.

Ex-boyfriend S used to be unsettled. Now, he's in a stable relationship with a nice girl. Even he himself admits he didn't treat Eve properly when they were together. He told Eve he learnt a lot from her.

Ex-boyfriend C is well, not very good at being devoted. Friends of Eve do not like him and honestly when Eve thinks back, it's amazing how Eve hung on. Now he's also devoted to one and says Eve taught him how to put women on a pedestal and love her which allowed him to win the heart of his current girl.

Ex-Boyfriend Y was quite reserved. He was not for affection in public and not such into social activities. Now, apparently Y knows how to show affection in public and probably parties even more than Eve.

A friend of Eve jokes maybe Eve should write a book about this.

What is it? Was Eve so terrible that they can only learn to give proper treatment to people after her? If so, why is it the lessons they learn don't seem to be so terrible?

Eve is tired of educating boyfriends for other people. This education is paid for with nothing else but Eve's heartache, tears and pain. Eve is trying to think of it as accumulating good karma.

Good karma for an educated man please, thank you.

Heavenly Voices

This is one of those songs you listen to in a quiet environment because it is so beautiful and peaceful...discovered it by accident in the album I bought and it certainly is a pleasant discovery...

His Eye Is On The Sparrow
By Big Mama

Strong Women

Society has moved on from the ages where men ruled the society. They still do in many areas but the women have fought their way and made their place in society. Women today are far more independent financially and perhaps emotionally and mentally.

No doubt, we are far more able to buy our first diamond ring ourselves, earn that top position in the company and decide for ourselves than compared to our grandmothers who would have probably done equally well if given opportunity.

We start to see well-groomed, well-articulated women with a swanky title rising as the stars and models of female success...in a public view at least. We admire the woman who made her way to be CEO of company X, CFO of company Y. They are often sharp and strong...to many who see them at least.

It is true, one has to be of certain strength to make it there. Yet, many seem to forget they are women too - REAL & HUMAN women with real tears, pain, hurt, pride and fallacies.

I have seen seemingly capable professional women make sad and questionable choices in their personal lives. While they may be out smoozing and making deals, they are also staring at the messages sent from their questionable relationships with sad, helpless eyes right round the corner. Behind that million dollar smile may well be much more pain and tears than most people know.

There's nothing wrong with these women. They are gorgeous, smart, kind and caring. So what's wrong?

Is it loneliness? Is it the price of success? Or perhaps strong women are really not as strong as they seem?

The modern woman dilemma is always the balance between your work and your responsibility to the home, a responsiblity shaped by the patriarchial socety. One can be the top manager at work but still keep the home spick and span. It's not just men who expect this of women. Even women expect this of themselves. Many, at least.

This trickles into the mentality behind a modern woman. No human likes to be vulnerable. In today's environment where women often have to fight amongst tight schedules, politics and scarce opportunities, women have gained a certain sense of independence and aggressiveness traditionally associated with men. Even the women themselves sometimes forget how vulnerable they can be.

Perhaps suppressing has caused our vulnerabilites to be even more than so. I have been wondering about this for a while and as I see more of it, I began to realise that it is often true...it is the strongest women who are also the most vulnerable. Friends have agreed with me on this and also that the seemingly vulnerable may not be as weak as they seem.

Strong women want to find their own personal happiness too... because end of the day, they are human too.

Woman

by Big Mama

It was hard for me to live

because I was being hurt by the painful and sad separation

I wanted so much to love again

Because I'm a woman looking for a place

where my delicate and worn heart may rest

If you love me, I don't ask anything of you

All you have to do is embrace my cold heart

Don't ask me, like a fool,

if I've already forgotten the seperation that was buried so deep.

Because I want to forget,

I'm trying to fill up my empty heart

that's been wounden by abandonment and been gouged by love.

If you love me, I don't ask anything of you

All you have to do is embrace my cold heart

Don't ask me, like a fool,

if I've already forgotten the seperation that was buried so deep.

Afraid that the tears that I've swallowed might gather in my mouth and burst

I can't answer you when you ask if it's okay to love me over and over again.

If you love me, I don't ask anything of you

All you have to do is embrace my cold heart

Don't ask me, like a fool,

if I've already forgotten the seperation that was buried so deep.

I don't care when and who

Like a habit, all I have to do is cover my tears.

Don't tell me that I love too easily and that in the end I'll be the only one hurt.

translation by: Jungie (aheeyah.com)

Brother and Sister

I wonder if anyone ever noticed I do not usually talk about specific people or post pictures of people here. Most of the time it's for privacy or security features.

Today, this post is dedicated to two people.

Firstly, to the person whom is like the younger brother I never had. Most of you whom I been talkin to will hear about Gary at some point because I work with him on the studio. Gary is one of the nicest, sincerest people I know. We do not always agree and there are times we certainly argue. However, grudges are forgotten and friendship remains. It is the commonality in vision and dreams that fuel our work for the studio.

On a personal front, I will never forget when I met with a personal event that made me sad and he made the effort to cheer me up in the middle of the night or the times he understood I needed time out or simply couldn't put on a smile anymore. That is something I appreciate greatly.

I have many sisters in my buddies. After all these years, she still knows how to tell me how she feels when she doesn't like certain things. She knows how to do it in a way that doesn't leave me feeling like pulp. She knows how to tell me without the scene getting emotional. We know how to say sorry to each other and that's why the friendship lasts. That's why I still proudly tell people she is my best buddy in the whole wide world because she really is. I wish for nothing more than grand happiness for her.

OK before the others get jealous, I do have a few best buddies keke but today...the glory goes to Pammy :)

The Day I Missed

I was really looking forward to attending the wedding of a good friend. It was the first time a good friend was getting married and I really looked forward to it. When we were young, we kinda promised to be at each other's wedding. I wanted to witness her going into the next stage of her life.

I had set aside that day free because I wanted to be sure I could be there.

Suddenly, a big show comes on the same day. I had to be there to ensure everything could run smoothly.

Still, I planned so that I can go.

The day came.

Client wasn't clear about one of the items. Changes were needed. My people were new. It was understandable they needed more time. Stress built and time came close for me to go.

Time came for me to go but I couldn't because if I went, the show may not be clean enough for public viewing. The job was my responsibility...one I could not drop and go...because I can't let my people go out looking bad and our name to be tarnished.

I made a call to say I can't go.

I was so sad. I really was.

I cried.

I felt like I missed out a part of my life too.

I am sorry babe...I will never take a job on a day like this again.

Christmas Story - Christmas Past

I know Christmas is around the corner but I didn't really feel it sink in till I found myself staring at a fruit cake in Cold Storage. I like fruit cakes :)

There's always this story they like to say at Christmas...the good old Christmas story about old scrooge and Christmas past, present and future. Here I will do my own version of Christmas past, present and future. Why don't you try it for yourself too?

I will focus on Christmas Past first for this chapter.

The things I could have done better this year. I could have been more patient and controlled my temper more. I think it's a bad habit I got from a older friend of mine *ahem*. I should be more lady-like *laughs*

Having to drop things out of my life is not easy. Having to drop anything or anybody is not easy for Cancerians. Not even if it is for the better.

The things I like about this year include the studio, paying more attention to my health, having a god-daughter, finding new friends who are very passionate about their lives, finding very hardworking team members in my studio and performance team. Dancing a lot more nowadays too :)

The lessons I learnt this year. Too many. The last few years taught me so much.

I learnt to take good care of yourself because there really are things that money cannot buy. A lot of my failure in taking care of myself when I was younger showed this year. Some effects remain and may well be for life.

Learning to say no. I realised it is often when you don't know what you want that you say yes to anything and everything. There are exceptions of course. There are also instances when one should be open to options. However, one will innately know the times when one is saying yes because one does not know what else to do as well as the times when one is simply open to exploring more. I realised it when I said no to some offers which I believe I would have said yes to one year ago.

Learning that one should do the things one WANTS to do because it makes all that small big difference. It really really makes a huge difference when one does something one wishes to do because one will fight for it to make it happen. Lack of interest = lack of action = no result = waste of time =why do it at all? We are all guilty of it at some point including myself.

What is your Christmas Past like? After this chapter will be Christmas Present and Christmas Future because we all like to end on high , forward looking happy notes :)

Next chapter : Christmas Present.

An Uplifting

I had some great encouragement today.

Sometimes I don't really know if there are people reading the stuff I write here. Well it turns out there are :)

A friend told me she was inspired by one of my entries that was written sometime back. She suggested to me to pursue writing in a more serious manner. When I asked her what she thought about the entry, she said it made her think about herself and struck a chord in her. It was also presented in an interesting manner.

Even if she were the only person who thought so, I wouls still be happy to hear it because that was the purpose behind Eve Code - to perhaps make people think a bit more about themselves and what goes on around them that we so often ignore.

Thank you for reading :)

New Look

I am so glad Blogspot has finally decided to add a new template and add more flexibility to page management.

My previous page was a little too depressing and boring for my taste.

I like this a lot better :)

Tears

Call it animal instinct. I hate to show weakness in front of people and maybe I have been trained by men to think of tears as a sign of weakness.

I hate to cry in front of people.

What I hate even more is to cry in front of my ex-es even if it's not related to them. Nobody including me needs to remember past visions of me crying over a broken relationship.

I came back home yesterday and thought about why I chose to give up certain chapters of my life. If it was so apparent to me, why couldn't I communicate it?

Maybe I was so upset at that time that it didn't come out right. I came back home and thought about it.

I still decided I had made the right decision. The reasons are so many I won't even attempt to bore you.

I would say this much though:

I realised if we really wanted something, we'd fight for it and make it happen even if the odds were not all clear. Not having the heart to fight probably means we 'don't want it enough or want it at all.

I'd rather be dead tired and happy than to be dead tired and dead unhappy.

Eve Notebook - High Society

Eve remembers she once told someone she could do without a TV at home, but not without a Hi-Fi system. In fact, she would like to have a Nakamichi or B&O or Bose thank you.

Yes Eve is an audiophile in the making and probably would have grown much more if given the budget. Eve thinks it’s linked to her dancing. In fact, it is probably because of the innate natural response she has to music that expressed itself in dancing.

Eve has come to the conclusion that she has a strange affinity with That CD Shop at Pacific Plaza. Call it fate but that shop seems to have the uncanny ability to play the songs she’s looking for. Eve remembers the first time she was looking for a tango song where she had no idea what the title was or where to find it. Just as she was troubled about it, she stepped out of a cab at Pacific Plaza to find That CD Shop playing it. She went in to buy it at once of course. This was not the only time.

Eve has been listening to Bond’s version as well as Grace Jone’s version of Libertango pretty often recently due to the need to perform it for a couple of shows. Today as she walked towards Pacific Plaza, they were playing Bond’s Libertango. When she left the building about an hour later, they were playing Grace Jone’s version. Eve could not help but notice the coincidence *chuckles*

Talking about That CD Shop brings Eve to the title of this entry: High Society.

Eve is not talking about the privileged group of people who have loads of money to thrash around in or the music that is only for the privileged. In fact, you can buy it at That CD Shop.

High Society is a music collection conceptualized and released exclusively by That CD Shop. Herry, the boss of That CD Shop, certainly has good taste. Some true audiophiles may or may not agree with me, but I certainly love this collection of music. Each CD comes with its own little satin bag and is kept safely in a pretty and smooth box adorned by stylish pictures as album covers. The entire collection could sit as a display item on your CD shelf. Open that smooth box and you will find even smoother music.

What Herry has done is to take a collection of well known and not-so-well-known songs spanning across different genres including jazz, pop, disco, classical in different languages such as English , Mandarin, French and Spanish, give it a stylish modern remix twist and serve it in high quality HDCD recording. The result is luxurious and certainly deserves a good Hi-Fi system to go with it.

One of my many indulgent dreams would be to own the entire collection of High Society CDs. It would set me back a pretty neat sum given that there are 40 titles in the main collection now. That’s not even including the sub-collections. Best part is, they are constantly adding more titles to the collection.

I sure would love to own the whole collection one day. If you ever ask me to choose between a highly coveted LV bag and the entire High Society CD collection, the choice would be easy for me.

I would take the High Society CD collection please, thank you. :)

Passion

Eve loves many types of dances and amongst them all, a few never fails to make her knees go weak and gasp "aaahhh so beautiul".

The tango is one of them.

Eve hears tango originated as a street dance of the prostitutes. Yes people, a lot of high society or social dances started from the streets and from the poor. Thus, there is no excuse not to learn because it's too "atas".

To me salsa is fun and sexy...but the tango is the dance that is really hot because it is so intense and yet so subtle. There can be so many types of feeling in tango...the hot and passionate, the subtle romantic and the flashy fast ones. It is in the soft fluid movements that great passions move and show...absolutely fabulous. The ladies then sure knew how to tease.

I have included 2 videos here which to me gives 2 kinds of feeling :)


No backdrop, no fancy costumes, yet loads of grace and subtle romance.


Sexy and sleek and yet very romantic as it is danced by a real couple.

The Pearl Necklace

I decided to share the original version of the pearl story in the previous entry....enjoy :)

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A cheerful girl with bouncy golden curls was almost five. Waiting with her mother at the checkout stand, she saw them: a circle of glistening white pearls in a pink foil box. "Oh please, Mommy. Can I have them? Please, Mommy, please!"

Quickly the mother checked the back of the little foil box and then looked back into the pleading blue eyes of her little girl's upturned face. "A dollar ninety-five. That's almost $2.00. If you really want them, I'll think of some extra chores for you and in no time you can save enough money to buy them for yourself. Your birthday's only a week away and you might get another crisp dollar bill from grandma."

As soon as Jenny got home, she emptied her penny bank and counted out 17 pennies. After dinner, she did more than her share of chores and she went to the neighbor and asked if she could pick dandelions for ten cents. On her birthday, Grandma did give her another new dollar bill and at last she had enough money to buy the necklace.

Jenny loved her pearls. They made her feel dressed up and grown up. She wore them everywhere--Sunday school, kindergarten, even to bed. The only time she took them off was when she went swimming or had a bubble bath. Mother said if they got wet, they might turn her neck green.

Jenny had a very loving daddy and every night when she was ready for bed, he would stop whatever he was doing and come upstairs to read her a story.

One night when he finished the story, he asked Jenny, "Do you love me?"

"Oh yes, Daddy. You know that I love you."

"Then give me your pearls."

"Oh, Daddy, not my pearls. But you can have Princess-- the white horse from my collection. The one with the pink tail. Remember, Daddy? The one you gave me. She's my favorite."

"That's okay, Honey. Daddy loves you. Good night." And he brushed her cheek with a kiss.

About a week later, after the story time, Jenny's daddy asked again, "Do you love me?"

" Daddy, you know I love you."

"Then give me your pearls."

"Oh Daddy, not my pearls. But you can have my babydoll. The brand new one I got for my birthday. She is so beautiful and you can have the yellow blanket that matches her sleeper."

"That's okay. Sleep well. God bless you, little one. Daddy loves you." And as always, he brushed her cheek with a gentle kiss.

A few nights later when her daddy came in, Jenny was sitting on her bed with her legs crossed Indian-style. As he came close, he noticed her chin was trembling and one silent tear rolled down her cheek. "What is it, Jenny? What's the matter?"

Jenny didn't say anything but lifted her little hand up to her daddy. And, when she opened it, there was her little pearl necklace. With a little quiver, she finally said, "Here, Daddy. It's for you."

With tears gathering in his own eyes, Jenny's kind daddy reached out with one hand to take the dime-store necklace, and with the other hand he reached into his pocket and pulled out a blue velvet case with a strand of beautiful genuine pearls.

He had had them all the time. He was just waiting for her to give up the dime-store stuff so he could give her genuine treasure.

The Happy and The Thoughtful

A lot of things happened in the last few days and it has been a whirlwind so now I can finally settle down to write. This is a thoughtful entry so friends of Eve, if you do not mind, just take a little time to read? Hee ego at work :P

Eve has been very busy over last few weeks and last few days simply left Eve with little time to rest. Today is the first time Eve could wake up up with proper sleep and find some time to reflect and write.

It was tiring but Eve is satisfied.

First, the happy things. The dance school did a preview sale two nights ago. It was a little messy and first but it turned out cosy and fun. It was small but it was lovely girly chatter and shopping. It turned out to be better than we expected that both we wanna do it again soon :)

Eve also found new avenues for the studio that night so Eve is really thankful to God for being so kind to us. It has been tiring and will be more tiring but it's been gratifying and Eve believes it will continue to be. Sometimes Eve may whine about lack of sleep or food and painful muscles but Eve has never felt so blessed in a long time.

Eve had the chance to auction her friends last night. It was so fun. Eve hates to do MC work but heck it's for good friends. For some reason, CF really felt like a sister to Eve last night and Eve loves family even though she sucks at showing it.

Eve still likes to have a good partying time here and there but honestly, the heavy partying life is over for Eve.

The thoughtful things...Eve saw a few things last night...some she prefers not to see in her face. Eve saw the many stages that she had gone through in some people last night. The one who lost control out of jealousy and pure confusion, the one who puts up with bad behaviour and the party animal on the loose etc. When Eve looks at the things last night, she realised that indeed she had been quite silly in many times in her life. Eve may continue to be silly but that's a story for another day.

Eve's buddy agrees with Eve, we never want to suffer in silence and put up with bad behaviour again. We never want to be stuck with a man who doesn't know what he wants and doesn't know if he wants you. Buddy says she never wants to date anyone fat again...must be fit and cute *chuckles*

There were times I felt like going up to the confused ones and say "Why don't you move on?" but Eve has learnt this is something one has to realise and do by oneself. It's amazing how clear third party vision is. To God I pray, this blindness never happens to me again.

Eve learns she wants to put it all behind. Maybe it was fate's arrangement that Eve got to see how the two major loves have moved in their lives. It stings but Eve is still alive today. She didn't throw herself in the river.

Eve also believe the two loves had great potential and dreams that never got realised and may never be if things stay the way they do. It is not Eve's perogative to care or speak anymore. There are others who will be in the position to do that.

To one love, you never liked to show love. Maybe that's changed or you simple didn't love me enough sadly. To my loves, maybe there were paths that we could have walked together but today it is not my hand you hold and your path is not mine to walk anymore. You may have made me mad and out of myself with pain but that's a chapter passed and sadly to say, maybe for another woman to bear.

Eve realised perhaps God has other arrangments for her and the path ahead may not always be bright and for the things that Eve gave up, will be still a path of dreams realised..a path of gold. Eve would like to tell this to her close friends too. Paths of gold are often ladden with broken glasses that will sting and hurt more the further you walk even if the road is satisfying...that's what Eve thinks. Eve is no longer in a stage of life waiting for things to happen but wanting to live and make things happen.

The last few years had made Eve strong. Difficulty is never a question of how difficult a situation is but always a matter of relativity to the person involved. Eve was once weak and lost so even small problems seemed big. Eve will continue to face more challenges to come but Eve knows for sure...she is stronger today..sometimes too strong for her own good perhaps.

Eve's buddy agrees with her. Sometimes we wish we were simpler. Like buddy said, it may well be bliss to be a frog in the well. Please do not be mistaken...this is really a figure of speech for we certainly do not mean people around us are frogs in wells. It simply means sometimes it may be bliss to know less and ask for less. However, the truth is once you have been exposed, you can never go back.

Eve could have been the quiet and submissive girlfriend because Eve has come to realise that's who she is. Dear friends, you may have never realised it because Eve is always so opinionated, strong headed and short tempered these days. Eve has grown to be a real Cancerian at heart. However, the strange thing is on the outside, Eve has grown to be totally unlike one especially when it comes to work. Life has made Eve strong and even harsh on the outside.

Eve told buddy last night of a story you may have read before. A little girl loves pearls and she had a toy pearl necklace that she cherished. Her father asked her if she would give it to him if she loved him. She refused. Daddy asked again and she could not give it up. In then end, she gave it to him because she loves him. Guess what, Daddy produced a beautiful real pearl necklace! Maybe we all have our pearls to give up before we get the things we are really meant to have.

Such a bbeeaauuuttiiiffullll song...I wanna marry a guy who can tango...ahhhhh

Querer - Off Alegria

Why You Follow Me

Truthfully, I like this song...it just so happens that I found this song cos it was used for this clip but it really is a great song by Eric Benet.

Why You Follow Me - Eric Benet

War of The Car Ads

This is really funny keke

1. BMW places an ad.

2. Audi answers.

3. The Japanese wanna say something too.

4. Bentley's CEO also answers via an ad ...

As men grow up, their toys get bigger, their ego grow even bigger but the way they show it never changes hahaha

Eve Notebook - Belated Looks of Hong Kong 2006

OK OK I am FINALLY posting the HK pics..

HK has a lot of tall, big, glossy looking glassy buildings...

...But it is common to find old buildings alongside the tall modern looking ones...

....Superstition exists in modernism too...

HK is a very slopey country..Roads are often steep and winding...

....But gems of INSPIRATION can be found at every corner! Talk about inspiration...

...This WARM, yellow little fella was absolutely INSPIRATIONAL *notice how big I put this pic here*

I have not found a tau hway in Singapore as inspiring as this one...*again notice how big this pic is*

...We had to get an entire TABLE worth of inspiration...

...Delicacies in all forms...the solid ones, semi-liquid ones...

...And of course, the liquid ones...*I love this pic :P*

The night lights we do not have...

...And the night lights we could do with more of...

No I did not go to the peak...I did another Forbidden City episode again arggghhh..but that's why I will be going back to HK again yay!

From Eve

I have been slow in writing recently... People have heard less from me recently too... People I don't mean to be rude or am avoiding you guys or something... Just been working, dancing, teaching and spending time with some people I love very much and simply haven't spent enough time with in recent years. I do wish to spend more time with everyone actually.

To my friends who have bothered calling me or checking in, I really feel happy when I hear from you. I may be quiet but I may be a lot more concerned about you than you know. I simply suck at showing it.

Sometimes I feel bad when friends call me out for supper and I don't go because I do want to go...just that sometimes I get so tired from teaching or late meetings that I don't think I'll make good company. I am not trying to be snobbish or think less of you guys. People wonder do I really have meetings at night? Yes I really do and will continue to have them for a while more.

Come Dec, my teaching commitment will increase and I do wish to increase my commitment to my clients as well. I have made choices that have made life a little more sane in terms of the things I'd like to do but in terms of time wise, it will probably be equally insane.

To my friends who care, I am much happier these days if I haven't had the chance to tell you. I am dancing a lot more again and trying the genres I always wanted to but never got to try.

Sometimes I look unapproachable when I don't smile doesn't mean I don't like you. I may just be in thought or simply too tired. Talk to me and chances are I will open up. If you really do not know by now, I really am not so much of an extrovert but I can be very crazy with people I know well so gimme a chance ok?

A fortune teller told me my temper has grown shorter over last 3 years because of accumulated frustration. I agree with her. Sometimes I have to make a conscious effort to control it. I don't like to be like this and even she agrees, I never used to be like this. Well , it took 3 years to grow this temper shorter so gimme a bit of time to grow it back longer ok?

And in case you are wondering as well...no, there is no one new in my life - no boyfriend, no boyfriend wanna-be, no "it's complicated" kinda relationships either. It is as simple and open as it gets in this department and I like it that way :)

Smooth Vocals

Eric Benet - I wanna be loved

People who like smooth vocals, Usher, Babyface, Jon B..U'll like this

Step Up

I just watched the movie "Step Up"...I haven't watched a movie in a long while frankly..

The storyline was nothing new. Most dance movies aren't big on the storyline because the moves and music alone is distracting enough.

However, this was the first time I cried at watching a dance movie. It wasn't because movie was too moving or tragic. I cried at the end when she finished her final showcase on stage and was awarded a job with a dance company.

The thought that came to my mind was "That could have been me."

Yes I may have never made it that far but if I had tried, that could have been me. There are many more talented dancers in the world but I guess the part that hurt was that I did not believe enough in myself to try.

We can always blame the education system and our society for not allowing us to pursue our dreams...but the truth is, we didn't have the guts to or believed enough in ourselves to. I know I didn't because it was precisely the thing I had dismissed myself with.."You are not as talented...you'll never make it". Thus, I never REALLY tried.

I don't like to think of "what ifs" because that leads to unnecessary regret. However, when that thought came to me naturally at that moment in the movie...I realised how much emptiness I have left for myself all these years that I say no to my dreams and in that instant, felt all the emptiness in the tears that fell naturally.

Have I truly lived? Truly tried the things I wanted to try and experienced all that life has to offer? I know there are many days ahead and I could always try but there are some things that once gone will be hard to chase back. I don't know how far I can reach...do you?

Will yoi step up if the chance ever came to you?

Ups and Downs

I have not written for a while...it was not the lack of inspiration...lack of time perhaps or maybe lack of energy.

There is something I learnt recently in a deep way. Cliche as it may seems, life does have its ups and downs and everyone goes through cycles. There are times that people go through a high and also times people go through a low.

There are pastures that one can only see when one is on a high plane and there are valleys that only one can walk when one is low. It is very difficult to make each other understand the joys, perils, feelings and lessons of each other until one comes to it oneself.

I know I have disappointed many over the last few years and made many upset. I know there are habits that I should try harder to make sure I change. If my friends are reading this, you'd probably know as well. For those who believed in me and are still here, I can't tell you how grateful I am.

There are things that one takes with them everytime one goes through a cycle. That to me is one of the reasons why cycles must exist. One would never truly comprehend the joy of a high until one has tasted the bitterness of a low. One will never understand what it is truly like to be in a low till one has gone through it.

I know a friend who is going through some emotional problems which is very similar to some things I experienced some years back. I feel sad for her because I know how painful it is to be in that situation. I also realised how painful it must have been for her or many of my friends to watch me during those years. I don't think I would have comprehended it if I didn't go through it and I think she probably agrees that it is in going through it herself that she realised how it was for me as well.

There are things we cannot pretend to understand. We can empathise but we will never truly understand until one has truly experienced it.

I also learnt that time changes a lot of things. I learnt that while one can always sink to new lows, lows are often the beginnings to highs. Like they say, every beginning is another beginning's end. Perhaps I was delusional, but I waited for the llight at the end of the tunnel even when I was thinking maybe it will never come. To my friends who are not going through the best of times, I can only hope the same for you...to keep looking at the light.

No, I am not in the best of times to warrant myself the right to say the above. What I can only hope to do is to share your time of unhappiness and sorrow from someone who has gone through some sh*t and caused much unhappiness to others over the last few years. There are so many things I need to work on and have so much to go.

I cannot pretend to truly understand because our situations are not EXACTLY the same. I can quite confidently say that I can probably come closer to understanding it and imagining it than someone who hasn't. Maybe I am not too good at showing it, but I am concerned about my dear friends. It is in a Cancerian nature to. There may be times it sounds like I am probing but that's only because I care about what's happening. If you guys ever found it offensive, I apologise.

As mentioned earlier, there are things we take with us when we go through cycles. My little selfish wish is that you may understand a little of the things that drove my failures, the madness of it all and the faults I have committed. My wish for myself is to always remember the lows that will make the highs worth it. My greater wish is that we will all live through our stages of stress and confusion and find even better pastures.

Dear life, you have taught me much and I know there is a lot more to learn...May you be kind and show us all beautiful pastures ahead.

Goodbye GHP

I am writing this moments before I pull the plug on the modem at GHP and I had barely slept last night because I was packing my things to move back home. I had done my last laundry and most of the things have been packed. If you do not know, GHP is the place we had fondly named our house for the past year.

As I looked at the bare walls that my pictures used to adorn and the floor where my books used to lay, I can’t help but remember the time when I just moved in when the house was equally bare.

Finding a house was difficult but we fell in love with GHP the moment we saw it. I love the pool and the bright, airy view that came with this house. I still remember people saying my room looked like a monastery when I first moved in because it was so bare. By the time I decided to move out, people called it the coziest room in the house and that I looked like I had settled in.

Settled in I have been indeed, because I have grown to love this place that provided a source of serenity to me. As the year went on, the room began to take shape as I decorated it painstakingly. It was not just filled with the physical decorations but also the memories of tears and laughter I had in this room. There were countless Eve Code entries, endless nights of tears and laughter and unforgettable times spent with friends here. There were also quarrels, fights and silent frustrations. They all made up the one year chapter in GHP.

People have many ways of dealing with pain. Perhaps moving to GHP was one for me because it took so much of my attention that it took my mind off things. It’s uncanny how life is that we are moving out almost exactly one year after we have moved in. Moving was perhaps my desire to escape from that particular chapter in my life and now again, moving marks the end of the chapter that had been written over the past year that I had spent escaping the previous one.

I went back to my old place the other day to pack to get ready for moving in. Frankly, it felt foreign to me but I have little choice. I realized there were many things I kept because I didn’t have the strength inside to throw them away. I finally did it. In fact, there are probably more things I can still throw. I think the therapy for the last one year worked in that sense.

I wish I could have taken a picture to share with you but alas my little sanctuary will remain just a memory.

Goodbye GHP, I will miss you.

Singlish Security Lecture

Singlish Security Lecture


I will try not to have a youtube video on every entry but this is so good it puts our Singaporean Singlish to shame! Work on your Singlish Singaporeans! The Ang-Mohs are catching up fast! *laughs*

Singapore Salsa Int'l Festival 2006- En Motion Peformance

Singapore Salsa Int'l Festival 2006- En Motion Peformance


Yes this was what the weeks of training, sewing, excruciating backaches were for...you won't see me here because they didn't film the intro but hey watch my people ok? :)

Woman

Today a student told me it's so charming to be an instructor....that I am very engaging *laughs out loud* It's the first time I've ever heard this...I hardly feel charming or engaging counting 1,2,3, 5, 6, 7...I think it's the halo we give to teachers, instructors and celebrities *laughs*

This song grows on you...



Woman
By Big Mama

It was hard for me to live
because I was being hurt by the painful and sad seperation

I wanted so much to love again
Because I'm a woman looking for a place
where my delicate and worn heart may rest

If you love me, I don't ask anything of you
All you have to do is embrace my cold heart

Don't ask me, like a fool,
if I've already forgotten the seperation that was buried so deep.

Because I want to forget, I'm trying to
fill up my empty heart that's been wounded
by abandonment and been gouged by love.

If you love me, I don't ask anything of you
All you have to do is embrace my cold heart

Don't ask me, like a fool,
if I've already forgotten the seperation that was buried so deep.

Afraid that the tears that I've swallowed
might gather in my mouth and burst
I can't answer you when you ask
if it's okay to love me over and over again.

If you love me, I don't ask anything of you
All you have to do is embrace my cold heart

Don't ask me, like a fool,
if I've already forgotten the seperation that was buried so deep.

I don't care when and who
Like a habit, all I have to do is cover my tears.

Don't tell me that I love too easily
and that in the end I'll be the only one hurt.

Stolen

I stole this from a friend's blog...but if it was stolen means it is probably worth a read :P

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Ramblings Part II - On the Balance of Logic and Emotions

There is a rather prevalent belief out there, that emotions are bad, and logic is good.Here's what I think.

Bollocks.

Emotions at the end of the day, tell you what is really important to you. Decisions are mostly made according to what is important to us. Why are these things important? They just are.

Someone I really respected said that the beginning of love and hate is the end of logic. True. There is no good reason why we love something, or someone, and not another. Why we are attracted to someone, or something.Emotions, and feelings in essence, give us DIRECTION, priorities, and meaning.

Logic is a wonderful thing. The way that human logic works, is to justify the things that you have already decided on.The world as we see it is a reflection of what we "know" to be true. Points of reference that we believe to be "a sure thing". Logic just finds a way to connect those points into a picture, so that at the end of the day, we can comfort ourselves and go, "See? It all makes sense now. It's so LOGICAL I don't understand why you just don't see it."

All in all, there's got to be a balance, as with most things in life.Where is that fine line where you draw? I don't know. You have to decide yourself. Me? According to an in-depth character analysis, I am 51% feeling, 49% logic. A balance you say?

Possibly. That just means, that instead of having at least one half of the world agree with me, I manage to piss off both halves.

Brilliant I say, abso-fucking-lutely brilliant. Won't have it any other way. Heh

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My little additions: Logic tells one the things one should do. Emotions tells one the things one would like to do. What one likes may not always be the thing one should either for the sake of morals or long term good or whatever logically reasonable reason one can think of. Maybe this is a simple basic formula for happiness?

LIKE (EMOTION) + SHOULD (LOGIC) +ACTION = HAPPINESS?

Lonely Journey

They say no man is an island.

It's true but what about life?

I slowly come to see life in itself, the very essence of life itself, is a lonely journey.

I am not saying one is alone. What I am saying is as one goes through life's stages, it is possible to share an experience but not live it together...not even the love of your life.

When one loses a loved one, one may be surrounded by a bevy of loving family and friends willing to lend a shoulder but they can't be with you 24 hours a day. Even if they were, they can't share the extent of one's pain. It simply is not possible because they are not you. The closest thing is empathy. Empathy cannot replace experience.

You can smile and try to laugh with them. Truth is you may feel better but it probably will not take away the feeling of pain and emptiness.

This is a road that has to be walked alone. Family and friends can only walk with you on the side pavement but not share your road beause they cannot have your life. They can only try to make it less lonely and help you to push on so that you may find your own answers.

However, it is in walking this road and finding the roads to come that will produce the greatest happiness..real happiness. Roads that were not dictated by other's wishes, magic predictions or illusionary wants, but real answers forged through the blood and tears of joy and pain in life.

May we all find the true answers meant for us.

Eve Notebook - Break Away

A friend recommended me this video in the last comment and I really find it a nice song, video and not to mention great voices. Watch it to the end for the interesting twist :)

Look Away

Hmm will this be able to be turned into a song? Hmmm....

Don't come this way
When you chose another so long ago
Don't turn back and expect me to be there
Cos I ain't waiting there no more

That familar junction of yesteryears
That old place where I waited
That same place is no longer so
Honey, I have left and moved on

I didn't find eternity
But I had been to new roads
Even found some new junctions
So honey turn around and go

Don't hold my hand like you want it
Don't hold me like you never had
Don't say you miss me
Don't look this way, not this way

Don't come my way
Not when you were the one who gave up
Don't think yesteryear is coming back
Cos' honey I have moved on

How To Avoid The Sun...But Not The Dreams

And you guys say I am a mad fan. Ya sure I like Bi a lot but...

My spiritual teacher tells me I should go to Korea.

My friends want to have Korean food for dinner.

My performance team folks send me Korean hip hop videos.

Er even if I avoid, Korean wave is all over around me.

AND there's a ticket for his showcase in Seoul that a gal in HK can let me have if only I could go!!! It's so hard to get tickets!!!!! I want to go but I can't!!!!!!! *incredibly sad*

The reason I can't go is because there is a major performance for Singapore Salsa Festival on 15 October.

Talk about salsa.

My legs are aching like hell today because we had a busy day. It was En Motion's opening at Tanjong Pagar :D It was very tiring doing all the preparation and running the whole event. We have a lot of work to follow up even after today. We are all tired like hell but I think we all agree, we are HAPPILY tired.

I think being with En Motion has opened up the dreams I left in a dusty shelf in my head. I was already letting dance slip out of my life, left the dream that HOPEFULLY someday I can dance in a concert even just once, do some fashion, do a dance production etc.

Recently, I asked a fellow dancer if she had a chance to dance in a musical (she prefers to dance in musicals), would she give up everything she has now to go? I asked myself the same question. Honestly, it is a difficult question...but I have a nagging feeling that I just might do it.

How about you? Will you give up everything you have now if the chance for you to realize a dream came for you?

Now I am getting back to dance again. I am thinking of maybe attending classes at Singapore Dance Theatre so I can improve my jazz. I am going to start my Latin classes soon. The rest..well...will pray and let life happen :)

And as always, the mad Korean fan ( my friend says she never thought she will see this side of me, she finds it cute keke) has to share a good song :)

I chose this song because I like the introduction and because I understand these lyrics very well. I bet some of you do as well :)


How To Avoid The Sun
By Rain

The image of me crying
The foolish image of myself
I hate the sun that shines upon the ground(I hate the sun)
If anyone recognized me
And asked why I was crying I
I really hated not being able to answer(I really hated it)

* I wanted to avoid the sun
No matter how hard I ran
The sun was always overhead
I really wanted to forget you
No matter how hard I tried,
No matter how hard I tried you were still inside of me

I really hated to still miss your
Smile and the hands that touched me(I really hated it)
Inside of so many people
While they laughed and shared stories
I tried to forget you
But again, tears fall

*Repeat

Everyone thinks that I forgot
But I think that I’m going to go crazy
I really want to forget
I really want to erase my memory
But it’s not working…

*Repeat x2

Like a thorn that is stuck so deep that you can’t take it out
Like a scratch that was hurt so much that it will leave a scar
A person like you can’t ever be erased
Even though we’re apart, it seems like we’re still living together
If only I could erase you by crying
I cry so much that it’s enough to make a river
Even if I live, I want to forget you and live correctly…
I want to live normally…
I want to live normally…

Bi is so talented *grin* Like I told my old bro, if he looked like Bi, had the same build, danced, sang and acted like him, I would be crazy over him too *laughs*

Sorry bro, unfortunately you don't ...*laughs even louder*