Waves

I stole this! *sshhhhh*

I Love Mornings

I never quite used to be a morning person. I was a living owl. Years of notorious nightlife in university had honed me to be one.

But I love mornings now *smile*

Despite the mess at home, somehow very nice light comes into the house in the mornings. All is quiet and peaceful and one can easily settle down to reading and working. Throw in nice perky music from Bistro Blue (inspiration for my dream :P) and ahhhh hello wonderland! All I need is the piping hot breakfast and I am quite set.

Most people think what a drag it is to wake up at 7 am. Well it is if you sleep late. When you do get some sleep the night before, waking at 7am is actually a wonderful feeling. You have more of the day to live, more time to do the things you want and the air is just much nicer. I used to tell my mum I love the air back home in Port Dickson in the morning because it was so so much fresher. It's not as good here but still better than the rest of the day. You simply don't get that kind of air once the world starts moving.

Try waking up earlier and if you already do, try something else instead of complaining and lamenting the hour. Try taking a deep breath of the air outside and feel the beauty of morning :)

The One

"The One".

No I am not talking about another Jet Lee attempt at Hollywood.

I am talking about the favourite word that many men and women use for finding the right partner in life. It is sought so after and yet so elusive and uncertain it is akin to finding the Holy Grail in dating.

When we meet someone, we ask ourselves could he or she be The One? When things don't work out, we comfort ourselves by saying he or she wasn't The One. We believe, when we find The One, all the nasty things and problems we had with the previous ones will disappear. The One is the one we will marry and live happily after with. The One has become our excuse for everything that could be right or wrong and sometimes, the excuse for us to be lazy in our efforts to make something work.

Oh please do not be mistaken. I believe The One exists somewhere out there. Somewhere beneath the rose line and starry skies perhaps? No I am not talking about a dead body. But why do we attach such a halo to The One?

If finding The One was a cure all solution, why are there so many divorce cases? If finding the right person to marry was it, why are there so many failed marriages that are no different from being divorced?

People change. The clothes we wear have changed along with it. The things we like, use, wear, eat, drink and pretty much everything else changes as well. So why is it, we believe in the existence of The One which is like a classic pair of jeans that is supposed to stay right through all seasons of fashion, fad or not?

We often have a mental picture or list of what The One should be like. Yet. many end up with people completely different from what they expected. Sometimes, we may want things different from what we thought we wanted. It's also about chemistry. I may place the person who has everything you want in front of you and you'd not find yourself to love him or her. According to doctors, falling in love is a sickness and indeed it is. It makes us do things we never thought we will or could.

Perhaps it was too much When Harry Met Sally so people got too Sleepless in Seattle thinking where art thou love? In movies, the two main characters have a fateful meeting, go through tumultous times and in the end spend the rest of their lives happily together. What they do not show is the routine that comes after and the grind of daily living that grinds the relationship paper thin. To me, that's when the challenge of love starts as you fight over money, keeping the house clean, laundry habits and not when the world is still a nice pinky hue in your lover's eyes. Love and The One are seriously over glamourised in our imagination. Perhaps that is why we sometimes have unrealistic expectations?

With regards to The One, I like what a friend once told me. He was getting to his girlfriend of six years and he was doing so willingly (Read: Not forced to by some overly emotional outburst of life threats to get married). He told me there were many times they nearly gave up over serious fights but six years later, he is glad she is still in his life. He understood that even if he may meet someone more attractive and perhaps better, she was the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. I was thoroughly impressed.

Do I believe in The One? I don't really know how people can stay together happy for the rest of their lives. Those who do, probably work at it. Like a friend said, happiness needs work too. I do however, believe in finding not the perfect person, but the imperfect person who is perfect for you. After that, it's all about responsibility, commitment and of course, above all...love.

The Eve Notebook

Eve is starting another page soon! :)

Today, as I was swimming, very nice feelings came to me of the things I would like to do in this life. I also thought about some of the things that I had loved doing and stopped doing many years ago. I cherish my life a little more these days and would like to do the things I love to do while I am still here.

Many of you might have heard I like to write and travel and would love to have my own travel journal one day. Well I am not waiting anymore. Despite my small amount of travelling, I am going to start writing and all of it will go to the other page, The Eve NoteBook.

Some of you who have known me for a long time should know I took art at one point of my life and was pretty willing to sacrifice all other homework to do it. Well, I am going back to it again for the love of it. I might post some stuff on the notebook site as well if it's not too embarrassing hee.

Well, watch this space...will take a while but the notebook will be up soon :)

Little Ball

What is it about a whole bunch of men chasing after a ball on the field that grips the world and stops it at its pace every four years? If they had it every year, it would disastrous for the economy. Millions of people and the world comes to a standstill every time World Cup comes round.

Trust me, for many years, this was a bewildering question to me.

Some time back, my gal friend asked me to watch a match with her. I went along out of curiousity. It was actually quite interesting! I would love to know more about the rules. So there is something fun about a whole bunch of men running after a little ball.

So this year, I cheered when England scored (though it was actually an own goal from Paraguay). I ooohed when England came so close to scoring so many times. I aaahhed for the excellent display of skills for Paraguay goalkeeper that basically kept England's attacks in check.

So perhaps next time, I do not have to feel frustrated if my man chooses football over me or try to seduce him away from the television? Instead, I will be there cheering with you honey, and God bless we are not supporting opposing teams :P

P.S.: It's currently 3.17 am and Argentina has not scored a single goal against Ivory Coast 18 minutes into the game...

A Little Story

Alaska asked her good friend, Jo, "When was the last time you saw me happy?"

Jo hesitated. Then he replied "As much as I hate to say this, though we all knew Michael was leading you on, you really seemed happy then. That was the last time I saw you happy."

"That was 3 years ago." Alaska whispered.

"Yes."

When she heard Jo's reply, she couldn't help but feel a sense of irony. What had started the chain of painful days to come was the last thing that made her felt happy. In Alaska's mind, there was a more recent memory but it was not of importance to remember now because it was similar. It was a sense of bittersweet approval that Jo gave to Michael.

Jo knew. There was nothing further that needed to be said because Jo knew Alaska knew all the things she had to know.

Alaska looked into the mirror. She had aged. Life had taken its toll on her. What didn't show in the mirror was carved deeply inside her. She found that often living itself required so much of her that she sometimes suspected a part of subconscious self didn't want to continue anymore.

Alaska fought for the will to live. Hope for a better tomorrow had been her salvation all this time yet that tomorrow seemed far away. Everytime life gave Alaska a small gift of salvation, it took it away from her with greater intensity. Alaska always knew about picking herself up. It was what she always knew, always will and always had to do. She knew she had much to thank for and yet sometimes she wonders why she had to keep picking herself and go. Why can't she just go? Telling herself to live for a better tomorrow was slowly becoming a weary cause.

The phone rang. When Alaska put it down, she went quiet.

Joseph asked "What happened?"

"Like I told you, it's like a curse. Everytime I make something, I lose a part of it. Nothing really stays. It's like a roller coaster ride."

A tear fell.

"I'm tired, Jo. I really am. If God is there, why isn't He listening? I always believe He's there but sometimes I really just wanna ask why even if Iknow I shouldn't. When will this ever end?"

Alaska sobbed.

"I'm tired Jo"

"I know Alaska, I know."

Game vs Sincerity

I like this quote so much I will dedicate one entry to it.

"A game is what you play to win; Sincerity holds a whole different court - you don't play to win, you just feel compelled to put your best foot forward."

To me sincerity can also be flawed, hidden and even forgotten but still a very thoughtful quote nonetheless.

@-;--

Hello Stranger

Hello Stranger
Have I met you before?
Have I seen that smile somewhere?
It looks like a smile I've loved so long ago

Hello Stranger
Have I met those eyes somewhere?
The glitter in your window
That no longer lights for me

Hello Stranger
I seemed to have known you for a lifetime
I seem to know you so well
The someone I do not know at all

Hello Stranger
You walk right past me
You look right through me
Like you never knew but you always know

Hello Stranger
We are but an arm's apart
We share the same air the same time
Yet our space is worlds apart

Hello Stranger
I know you so well
I always did and yet never will
The stranger I know so well

Adapted from one of my favourite songs :) Sudden burst of inspiration :)

@-;--

Ge Ge

For those of you who had been reading, you might be able to remember a previous entry about my father. Today, I would like to write about my brothers.

One of the best books I ever read about love and relationships was introduced to me by someone I held dearly. It's called "The Five Languages of Love" by Gary Chapman. I have recommended this book to many and actually helped saved a relationship in the process :P

In the book, it says we all have different ways of receiving and giving love. I realise this was not only characteristic of the romantic love between two persons but also between family and friends. Today, the focus is on family thus family it is.

My family has always been quite traditional. We do not talk about our problems or show our emotions very much. When I was young, I used to think maybe my brothers don't care about me. It was many years later that I realised their way of showing love was not by words of assurance or physical affection but by acts of service instead. They showed me by seeing me through university, sending me home quietly and reprimanding me when needed.

Today I felt a great warmth and happiness. I had shared with my eldest brother something that happened recently. At first, he did not show much reaction. However, later in the day, he contacted me a few times to ask how I was and showed concern. Turns out he has asked around for people who could advise us on what to do and he offered financial help if I needed any. The part that really touched me was when he showed concern for me in the small details and asked me to take care.

People, this may not sound much to you, but to me, it was a first.

My family has never been the perfect picture of family harmony and togetherness. Over the years, the siblings have learnt to grow closer. With this little episode today, it was the first time in my life I truly felt happy to have my family even if it was not picture perfect. In a way, it was the first time that I truly experienced the feeling of family.

It's a nice feeling :)

@-;--
I am worried about you too...

Morning lesson

I would like to share something I realised this morning.

No matter what religion you may believe in.

No matter how many lives you believe you may go through.

This one, and just THIS ONE, you will only live through it ONCE.

You will never come by another one exactly the same.

You will never remember when it's gone.

THIS ONE life, you live it only ONCE.

Purpose

Some time back, two guys asked me over teh "What is your purpose in life?"

Wow big question for teh late at night or more like early in the morning.

Strangely, my answer was "Never thought about it."

Well, the truth was a little further. It was not that I never thought about it. I thought a lot about it. I just never quite found the answer.

I think the answer had presented itself to me often. I just wasn't sure. I learnt that everyone had a purpose here. I often told my friends that one day I believe I will spend my life serving humanity for a humanitarian or religious reason. I do think my purpose has to do with servitude. I do not know the exact details. Thus, in that quick moment, I guess it came out as "never thought about it."

A friend told me yesterday that when you find your purpose in life, your path will unfold itself in line with your purpose. The path may change along the way but the destination remains the same.

Let me share a short story here. I had borrowed the book called "The Alchemist" by Paul Coelho from my friend long time ago. I love his books. Somehow, I never made it past the first few pages. Thus the book sat on my shelf for a long time.

I had been taking a rest for the past few days and with my laptop down, I didn't have much opportunity to do work. Therefore I had some time to do the things I had put aside for a while like sleep, organise my stuff and read.

I am one who has come to realise that in life, there are no coincidences. Everything happens at a particular time and place for a particular reason. Once one began to see that, one would find that the world was often so accurate in timing it is amazing. I picked up the book this morning and it talked exactly about this topic that had come to mind. It talked about purpose, journey and recognising the signs that the universe gives you to bring you there. I have had this happening a lot of times where sometimes a book, a passage, a song or even a person comes along just at the right time. Talk about signs. The problem is we just don't know how to or decide not to read them.

I have been in a crossroad for a while. Everytime I step out of it,I find myself in a bigger one. Maybe I never got out of it. Maybe that is what life is. After all, life is full of choices. I learnt some time back that sometimes one has to let life bring them to the places they are supposed to be where trying to lead it.

Dear life, may you bring me to beautiful places that will lead to a purposeful destination.

An irrelevant quote: "Give me a man who is man enough to give himself just to the woman who is worth him. If that woman were me, I would love him alone and forever." - from "Bernardo Guardi", Casanova.

@-;--