A Little Story

Alaska asked her good friend, Jo, "When was the last time you saw me happy?"

Jo hesitated. Then he replied "As much as I hate to say this, though we all knew Michael was leading you on, you really seemed happy then. That was the last time I saw you happy."

"That was 3 years ago." Alaska whispered.

"Yes."

When she heard Jo's reply, she couldn't help but feel a sense of irony. What had started the chain of painful days to come was the last thing that made her felt happy. In Alaska's mind, there was a more recent memory but it was not of importance to remember now because it was similar. It was a sense of bittersweet approval that Jo gave to Michael.

Jo knew. There was nothing further that needed to be said because Jo knew Alaska knew all the things she had to know.

Alaska looked into the mirror. She had aged. Life had taken its toll on her. What didn't show in the mirror was carved deeply inside her. She found that often living itself required so much of her that she sometimes suspected a part of subconscious self didn't want to continue anymore.

Alaska fought for the will to live. Hope for a better tomorrow had been her salvation all this time yet that tomorrow seemed far away. Everytime life gave Alaska a small gift of salvation, it took it away from her with greater intensity. Alaska always knew about picking herself up. It was what she always knew, always will and always had to do. She knew she had much to thank for and yet sometimes she wonders why she had to keep picking herself and go. Why can't she just go? Telling herself to live for a better tomorrow was slowly becoming a weary cause.

The phone rang. When Alaska put it down, she went quiet.

Joseph asked "What happened?"

"Like I told you, it's like a curse. Everytime I make something, I lose a part of it. Nothing really stays. It's like a roller coaster ride."

A tear fell.

"I'm tired, Jo. I really am. If God is there, why isn't He listening? I always believe He's there but sometimes I really just wanna ask why even if Iknow I shouldn't. When will this ever end?"

Alaska sobbed.

"I'm tired Jo"

"I know Alaska, I know."