The Happy and The Thoughtful

A lot of things happened in the last few days and it has been a whirlwind so now I can finally settle down to write. This is a thoughtful entry so friends of Eve, if you do not mind, just take a little time to read? Hee ego at work :P

Eve has been very busy over last few weeks and last few days simply left Eve with little time to rest. Today is the first time Eve could wake up up with proper sleep and find some time to reflect and write.

It was tiring but Eve is satisfied.

First, the happy things. The dance school did a preview sale two nights ago. It was a little messy and first but it turned out cosy and fun. It was small but it was lovely girly chatter and shopping. It turned out to be better than we expected that both we wanna do it again soon :)

Eve also found new avenues for the studio that night so Eve is really thankful to God for being so kind to us. It has been tiring and will be more tiring but it's been gratifying and Eve believes it will continue to be. Sometimes Eve may whine about lack of sleep or food and painful muscles but Eve has never felt so blessed in a long time.

Eve had the chance to auction her friends last night. It was so fun. Eve hates to do MC work but heck it's for good friends. For some reason, CF really felt like a sister to Eve last night and Eve loves family even though she sucks at showing it.

Eve still likes to have a good partying time here and there but honestly, the heavy partying life is over for Eve.

The thoughtful things...Eve saw a few things last night...some she prefers not to see in her face. Eve saw the many stages that she had gone through in some people last night. The one who lost control out of jealousy and pure confusion, the one who puts up with bad behaviour and the party animal on the loose etc. When Eve looks at the things last night, she realised that indeed she had been quite silly in many times in her life. Eve may continue to be silly but that's a story for another day.

Eve's buddy agrees with Eve, we never want to suffer in silence and put up with bad behaviour again. We never want to be stuck with a man who doesn't know what he wants and doesn't know if he wants you. Buddy says she never wants to date anyone fat again...must be fit and cute *chuckles*

There were times I felt like going up to the confused ones and say "Why don't you move on?" but Eve has learnt this is something one has to realise and do by oneself. It's amazing how clear third party vision is. To God I pray, this blindness never happens to me again.

Eve learns she wants to put it all behind. Maybe it was fate's arrangement that Eve got to see how the two major loves have moved in their lives. It stings but Eve is still alive today. She didn't throw herself in the river.

Eve also believe the two loves had great potential and dreams that never got realised and may never be if things stay the way they do. It is not Eve's perogative to care or speak anymore. There are others who will be in the position to do that.

To one love, you never liked to show love. Maybe that's changed or you simple didn't love me enough sadly. To my loves, maybe there were paths that we could have walked together but today it is not my hand you hold and your path is not mine to walk anymore. You may have made me mad and out of myself with pain but that's a chapter passed and sadly to say, maybe for another woman to bear.

Eve realised perhaps God has other arrangments for her and the path ahead may not always be bright and for the things that Eve gave up, will be still a path of dreams realised..a path of gold. Eve would like to tell this to her close friends too. Paths of gold are often ladden with broken glasses that will sting and hurt more the further you walk even if the road is satisfying...that's what Eve thinks. Eve is no longer in a stage of life waiting for things to happen but wanting to live and make things happen.

The last few years had made Eve strong. Difficulty is never a question of how difficult a situation is but always a matter of relativity to the person involved. Eve was once weak and lost so even small problems seemed big. Eve will continue to face more challenges to come but Eve knows for sure...she is stronger today..sometimes too strong for her own good perhaps.

Eve's buddy agrees with her. Sometimes we wish we were simpler. Like buddy said, it may well be bliss to be a frog in the well. Please do not be mistaken...this is really a figure of speech for we certainly do not mean people around us are frogs in wells. It simply means sometimes it may be bliss to know less and ask for less. However, the truth is once you have been exposed, you can never go back.

Eve could have been the quiet and submissive girlfriend because Eve has come to realise that's who she is. Dear friends, you may have never realised it because Eve is always so opinionated, strong headed and short tempered these days. Eve has grown to be a real Cancerian at heart. However, the strange thing is on the outside, Eve has grown to be totally unlike one especially when it comes to work. Life has made Eve strong and even harsh on the outside.

Eve told buddy last night of a story you may have read before. A little girl loves pearls and she had a toy pearl necklace that she cherished. Her father asked her if she would give it to him if she loved him. She refused. Daddy asked again and she could not give it up. In then end, she gave it to him because she loves him. Guess what, Daddy produced a beautiful real pearl necklace! Maybe we all have our pearls to give up before we get the things we are really meant to have.

Such a bbeeaauuuttiiiffullll song...I wanna marry a guy who can tango...ahhhhh

Querer - Off Alegria