24042005/23:38:32
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31122005/23:59:58
.
This is a personal entry for myself but if you can figure this entry out, I applaude your intelligence...just keep it to yourself ok? :)
Saturday, December 31, 2005
Friday, December 30, 2005
Goodbye
Goodbye little girl
It's been a while
Goodbye little girl
As I set you afloat on the little boat down the stream
We've laughed, we've cried
We've loved, we've lost
We've risen, we've fallen
It's time
Goodbye little girl
As I do what I must
Let the tears flow
As I hold your hands for the last time
Goodbye little girl
I will always remember you
The gifts and toys we have shared
As I let you take them away
Goodbye little girl
I am sorry to say goodbye
Time and tide beckons
As they wait for no one
Goodbye little girl
You will always be in my heart
The one who always knew me
The one I could never lie
Goodbye little girl
As I turn around and walk away
I will be gone for a long time
To somewhere you may not find
Goodbye little girl
I know someday we will reunite
From now till then
I will hold you in the deepest depths of my heart
I have written a fair bit right now...out of the many entries I have written..there were some that I held very dear to my heart. If you care enough to read, you will probably find them. This is one of them.
I do not really expect anyone to understand this poem or the significance of it. More than anything, I wrote it for myself. All I can say is...it's probably one of the most important things I have ever written. The amount of difficulty that went to these simple words is beyond what I can describe. As to what the theme is...a part of it can actually be found in my physical monogamy entry and some other entries...though they are all really very small parts.
If you do not understand, it's alright..but I thank you for reading and if you have been following my writings, I would like to show my appreciation to you too.
It's been a while
Goodbye little girl
As I set you afloat on the little boat down the stream
We've laughed, we've cried
We've loved, we've lost
We've risen, we've fallen
It's time
Goodbye little girl
As I do what I must
Let the tears flow
As I hold your hands for the last time
Goodbye little girl
I will always remember you
The gifts and toys we have shared
As I let you take them away
Goodbye little girl
I am sorry to say goodbye
Time and tide beckons
As they wait for no one
Goodbye little girl
You will always be in my heart
The one who always knew me
The one I could never lie
Goodbye little girl
As I turn around and walk away
I will be gone for a long time
To somewhere you may not find
Goodbye little girl
I know someday we will reunite
From now till then
I will hold you in the deepest depths of my heart
I have written a fair bit right now...out of the many entries I have written..there were some that I held very dear to my heart. If you care enough to read, you will probably find them. This is one of them.
I do not really expect anyone to understand this poem or the significance of it. More than anything, I wrote it for myself. All I can say is...it's probably one of the most important things I have ever written. The amount of difficulty that went to these simple words is beyond what I can describe. As to what the theme is...a part of it can actually be found in my physical monogamy entry and some other entries...though they are all really very small parts.
If you do not understand, it's alright..but I thank you for reading and if you have been following my writings, I would like to show my appreciation to you too.
Thursday, December 29, 2005
Missing Piece meets Big O
I would like to share a simple story I read in a picture book by Shel Silverstein titled "The Missing Piece Meets The Big O". I haven't touched this book in a long time though it's always staring at me from where I kept it. Do go get it because it's really nice when you see it with the pictures. Simple but very moving. A simple story with a deep meaning. Think of it a bit and you will find parallels in real life..
The missing piece sat alone...
Waiting for someone to come along and take it somewhere.
Some fit...but could not roll.
Others could roll but did not fit.
One didn't know a thing about fitting.
And another didn't know a thing about anything.
One was too delicate *pop*.
One put it on a pedestal...and left it there.
Some had too many pieces missing.
Some had too many pieces, period.
It learned to hide from the hungry ones.
More came.
Some looked too closely.
Others rolled by without noticing.
It tried to make itself more attractive
It didn't help.
It tried being flashy
But that just frightened away the shy ones.
At last one came along that fit just right.
But all of a sudden...
The missing piece begin to grow!
And grow!
"I didn't know you were going to grow"
"I didn't know it either" said the missing piece.
"I'm lookin' for my missin' piece, one that won't increase...."
Sigh...
And then one day,
One came along who looked different.
"What do you want of me?" asked the missing piece.
"Nothing."
"What do you need from me?"
"Nothing."
"Who are you?" asked the missing piece.
"I am the Big O," said the Big O.
"I think you are the one I have been waiting for," said the missing piece.
"Maybe I am your missing piece."
''But I am not missing a piece,'' said the Big O.
''There is no place you would fit.''
''That is too bad,'' said the missing piece.
''I was hoping that perhaps I could roll with you...''
''You cannot roll with me,'' said the Big O,
''but perhaps you can roll by yourself.''
''By myself? A missing piece cannot roll by itself.''
''Have you ever tried?'' asked the Big O.
''But I have sharp corners,'' said the missing piece.
''I am not shaped for rolling.''
''Corners wear off,'' said the Big O,
''and shapes change.
Anyhow, I must say good-bye.
Perhaps we will meet again...''
And away it rolled.
The missing piece was alone again.
For a long time it just sat there.
Then...
slowly...
It lifted itself up on one end...
...and flopped over *plop*
Then lift...pull...flop...
It began to move forward...
And soon its edges began to wear off...
liftpullflopliftpullflop
And its shape began to change...
And then it was bumping instead of flopping...
And then it was bouncing instead of bumping...
And then it was rolling instead of bouncing...
And it didn't know where and it didn't care.
It was rolling!
You have to see the book itself for the ending. Not very often do you find a book that says so much with so little. It's really touching..this was a birthday gift to me...when you first see the title it looks er pretty suggestive...I cried after I read it. I won't say why but I am sure you will love it. I do :)
The missing piece sat alone...
Waiting for someone to come along and take it somewhere.
Some fit...but could not roll.
Others could roll but did not fit.
One didn't know a thing about fitting.
And another didn't know a thing about anything.
One was too delicate *pop*.
One put it on a pedestal...and left it there.
Some had too many pieces missing.
Some had too many pieces, period.
It learned to hide from the hungry ones.
More came.
Some looked too closely.
Others rolled by without noticing.
It tried to make itself more attractive
It didn't help.
It tried being flashy
But that just frightened away the shy ones.
At last one came along that fit just right.
But all of a sudden...
The missing piece begin to grow!
And grow!
"I didn't know you were going to grow"
"I didn't know it either" said the missing piece.
"I'm lookin' for my missin' piece, one that won't increase...."
Sigh...
And then one day,
One came along who looked different.
"What do you want of me?" asked the missing piece.
"Nothing."
"What do you need from me?"
"Nothing."
"Who are you?" asked the missing piece.
"I am the Big O," said the Big O.
"I think you are the one I have been waiting for," said the missing piece.
"Maybe I am your missing piece."
''But I am not missing a piece,'' said the Big O.
''There is no place you would fit.''
''That is too bad,'' said the missing piece.
''I was hoping that perhaps I could roll with you...''
''You cannot roll with me,'' said the Big O,
''but perhaps you can roll by yourself.''
''By myself? A missing piece cannot roll by itself.''
''Have you ever tried?'' asked the Big O.
''But I have sharp corners,'' said the missing piece.
''I am not shaped for rolling.''
''Corners wear off,'' said the Big O,
''and shapes change.
Anyhow, I must say good-bye.
Perhaps we will meet again...''
And away it rolled.
The missing piece was alone again.
For a long time it just sat there.
Then...
slowly...
It lifted itself up on one end...
...and flopped over *plop*
Then lift...pull...flop...
It began to move forward...
And soon its edges began to wear off...
liftpullflopliftpullflop
And its shape began to change...
And then it was bumping instead of flopping...
And then it was bouncing instead of bumping...
And then it was rolling instead of bouncing...
And it didn't know where and it didn't care.
It was rolling!
You have to see the book itself for the ending. Not very often do you find a book that says so much with so little. It's really touching..this was a birthday gift to me...when you first see the title it looks er pretty suggestive...I cried after I read it. I won't say why but I am sure you will love it. I do :)
Physical Monogamy
Oooh what an explicit topic *laughs* If you are not the open-minded sort, don't bother continue reading.
Yesterday I had a discussion with a friend who asked me what I thought of a relationship that was explicitly physical and monogamous. Frankly, I never had it explicitly, it would really help to know it explicitly though *laughs* I mean seriously, if a man or woman wants a physical relationship, just say so, lay out the conditions..other party says yes or no and everyone is happy! Think so much for what?? Actually A LOT of things, I came to realise...think so much for what?? This is one area I realise, that once decided, really no need to think anymore. Think anymore will only result in confusion and hurt.
I think my views on this area has changed a whole lot over the past year. And no, I have not gone mad, gone bitter or whatever..but become a whole lot more realistic in expectations that's all.
I used to be bothered a great deal about whether the other party is monogamous. I came to realise that in such a relationship...and I mean one that really is physical, it may not be realistic to expect monogamy.
Oh no I am not trying to promote promiscuity. I am not saying I am not for monogamy. I am just trying to see it for what it is. Monogamy has a very realistic advantage of safety. To me, a physical relationship is a lot about convenience, knowing you erm... get erm a good time with a partner of which you have good chemistry with and safety. No need to trial and test, you know you get it good when you need it, and for those in the know, its usually unexciting the first time with anyone new. For me, its pretty much to get a good time conveniently while having the chance to lead your life when you don't have the time and capacity to be involved in a real relationship. Quick fix you may call it.
It's not something for everyone...after throwing out all the things in my system be it in writing or talking, I have arrived at the stage where I can CLEARLY say (yes my dear friend if you know who you are, no longer maybe yes maybe no since the last time you asked me). I don't want, don't need emotional engagements at the moment for many reasons..priorities etc...it comes, fine, it doesn't come, it doesn't bother me. Thus this type of arrangements work for me if it happens because switching off is something I am capable of doing nowadays. If it is not your kinda thing, please just avoid it.
However, just as it says...it's a physical relationship. While I may not be one who has multiple partners for simple reason of safety, I think I am past the stage of expecting the other party to be the same. Reason? It's a physical relationship, that's it. Be realistic, see it for what it's worth.
If the other party is monogamous, seriously good for you. If not, pray that he or she is responsible and frankly I wouldn't want to know as well. I mean it's great to be good friends who can talk about stuff, have a good time together but I don't think I or anyone need to know the sordid details.
To me a good one would be one where the two are just like good friends..you can talk about things like what you would over coffee or chillout, have a good time, part ways nicely when things change. I kinda parted ways with one before because I met someone whom I thought was worthy of attention. It was simple, nice, amicable and we are on good talking terms. He was happy for me. Hey hey, I don't do this a lot ok?? It really was a brief thing, we didn't explicitly say so too but I think to actually state the case is frankly an important thing.
Men often think women are not capable of handling physical relationships. In a way they are right. But I notice I have gal friends who tell me (and it seems to be an increasing trend), it's sometimes because the man don't know how to state explicitly. Perhaps the man isn't sure and don't want to cut off other possibilities of it developing into something more..perhaps he thinks the girl won't continue if he stated his true intention. For goodness sake, if you wanna have a good time, find someone who's willing to accept it when you say you want to have a fun time. If not, it's just masquerading and it's totally not cool.
The strange thing is, gal friends tell me and I agree, if a guy states explicitly and we are interested, then come to a consensus and take it from there...but it seems to be hard to find a guy who can actually say it! I actually think it's nice of a guy to actually say it out in clearly, yes in plain simple English thank you *laughs* I had a gal friend whom the guy actually stated it out clearly and I was like, what a nice guy! Simple and truthful! Some call this type the player, the bastard but hey at least he was simple and truthful!
The reason is simple. Women will know how to manage themselves from there. No need to think about where it's going, no need to get emotional, no need to worry about the man. I do have gal friends who actually say in similar terms, "if a guy wants a physical relationship, just say so..if I like, fine, and we know where to draw the lines". Girls don't want to hurt another party as much as they don't wanna hurt themselves. I actually heard of cases where it was the guy who felt he was being used for sex..to the gawking ladies..YES IT HAPPENS.
Personally, once I know it's a physical one, I simply switch off the emotional component. People, I don't know how to prove it cos I haven't come across one who can just come to simple consensus but I do know what I want and how I would like to manage it if it happens. What I mean is knowing what to expect (which really is nothing more than good friendship and good you know what). The challenge is knowing it. While it's a simple yes or no question, there seems to be great difficulty in coming to a consensus. By consensus, I mean BOTH parties AGREE to it, not some hang-there-not-stated-cleary-half past-six sh*t. It can be quite amazing how that simple yes or no changes a person's emotional and mental state completely, for me at least. I mean if it develops to anything more than that, fine but at least women know how to manage their own expectations. It's like a business deal, both parties agree clearly and start the project. No one starts without some form of agreement isn't it?
Yes guys, we no longer live in the 18th century..women have needs like men do..whoever says women has less than men must be in denial..I often see it equal if not more..women go on dirty tours (not been on one) as much as men do and women are capable of managing expectations...if you set it correctly that is.
I realise when it comes to this, once decided..one must be prepared that's all it will be. Some do go somewhere but very often, they don't. It's frankly best just to take away the emotions involved. If it develops beyond, congratulations..if it doesn't, at least no one gets upset.
To the guys, yes it can be THAT simple. Just be simple and clear. To the ladies, yes welcome to a side of modern relationships...if you have not already been initiated that is :)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
On a totally irrelevant note..I need to whine a bit..I saw a gal yesterday riding my FAVOURITE BIKE for 2B class, in COLOURS I LIKE, wearing a helmet SIMILAR TO MINE...soooo cool...sooooo jealous!!!!!!!!!!! *turns green and bites blanket* I really hope to finish it next year *sob sob*
Yesterday I had a discussion with a friend who asked me what I thought of a relationship that was explicitly physical and monogamous. Frankly, I never had it explicitly, it would really help to know it explicitly though *laughs* I mean seriously, if a man or woman wants a physical relationship, just say so, lay out the conditions..other party says yes or no and everyone is happy! Think so much for what?? Actually A LOT of things, I came to realise...think so much for what?? This is one area I realise, that once decided, really no need to think anymore. Think anymore will only result in confusion and hurt.
I think my views on this area has changed a whole lot over the past year. And no, I have not gone mad, gone bitter or whatever..but become a whole lot more realistic in expectations that's all.
I used to be bothered a great deal about whether the other party is monogamous. I came to realise that in such a relationship...and I mean one that really is physical, it may not be realistic to expect monogamy.
Oh no I am not trying to promote promiscuity. I am not saying I am not for monogamy. I am just trying to see it for what it is. Monogamy has a very realistic advantage of safety. To me, a physical relationship is a lot about convenience, knowing you erm... get erm a good time with a partner of which you have good chemistry with and safety. No need to trial and test, you know you get it good when you need it, and for those in the know, its usually unexciting the first time with anyone new. For me, its pretty much to get a good time conveniently while having the chance to lead your life when you don't have the time and capacity to be involved in a real relationship. Quick fix you may call it.
It's not something for everyone...after throwing out all the things in my system be it in writing or talking, I have arrived at the stage where I can CLEARLY say (yes my dear friend if you know who you are, no longer maybe yes maybe no since the last time you asked me). I don't want, don't need emotional engagements at the moment for many reasons..priorities etc...it comes, fine, it doesn't come, it doesn't bother me. Thus this type of arrangements work for me if it happens because switching off is something I am capable of doing nowadays. If it is not your kinda thing, please just avoid it.
However, just as it says...it's a physical relationship. While I may not be one who has multiple partners for simple reason of safety, I think I am past the stage of expecting the other party to be the same. Reason? It's a physical relationship, that's it. Be realistic, see it for what it's worth.
If the other party is monogamous, seriously good for you. If not, pray that he or she is responsible and frankly I wouldn't want to know as well. I mean it's great to be good friends who can talk about stuff, have a good time together but I don't think I or anyone need to know the sordid details.
To me a good one would be one where the two are just like good friends..you can talk about things like what you would over coffee or chillout, have a good time, part ways nicely when things change. I kinda parted ways with one before because I met someone whom I thought was worthy of attention. It was simple, nice, amicable and we are on good talking terms. He was happy for me. Hey hey, I don't do this a lot ok?? It really was a brief thing, we didn't explicitly say so too but I think to actually state the case is frankly an important thing.
Men often think women are not capable of handling physical relationships. In a way they are right. But I notice I have gal friends who tell me (and it seems to be an increasing trend), it's sometimes because the man don't know how to state explicitly. Perhaps the man isn't sure and don't want to cut off other possibilities of it developing into something more..perhaps he thinks the girl won't continue if he stated his true intention. For goodness sake, if you wanna have a good time, find someone who's willing to accept it when you say you want to have a fun time. If not, it's just masquerading and it's totally not cool.
The strange thing is, gal friends tell me and I agree, if a guy states explicitly and we are interested, then come to a consensus and take it from there...but it seems to be hard to find a guy who can actually say it! I actually think it's nice of a guy to actually say it out in clearly, yes in plain simple English thank you *laughs* I had a gal friend whom the guy actually stated it out clearly and I was like, what a nice guy! Simple and truthful! Some call this type the player, the bastard but hey at least he was simple and truthful!
The reason is simple. Women will know how to manage themselves from there. No need to think about where it's going, no need to get emotional, no need to worry about the man. I do have gal friends who actually say in similar terms, "if a guy wants a physical relationship, just say so..if I like, fine, and we know where to draw the lines". Girls don't want to hurt another party as much as they don't wanna hurt themselves. I actually heard of cases where it was the guy who felt he was being used for sex..to the gawking ladies..YES IT HAPPENS.
Personally, once I know it's a physical one, I simply switch off the emotional component. People, I don't know how to prove it cos I haven't come across one who can just come to simple consensus but I do know what I want and how I would like to manage it if it happens. What I mean is knowing what to expect (which really is nothing more than good friendship and good you know what). The challenge is knowing it. While it's a simple yes or no question, there seems to be great difficulty in coming to a consensus. By consensus, I mean BOTH parties AGREE to it, not some hang-there-not-stated-cleary-half past-six sh*t. It can be quite amazing how that simple yes or no changes a person's emotional and mental state completely, for me at least. I mean if it develops to anything more than that, fine but at least women know how to manage their own expectations. It's like a business deal, both parties agree clearly and start the project. No one starts without some form of agreement isn't it?
Yes guys, we no longer live in the 18th century..women have needs like men do..whoever says women has less than men must be in denial..I often see it equal if not more..women go on dirty tours (not been on one) as much as men do and women are capable of managing expectations...if you set it correctly that is.
I realise when it comes to this, once decided..one must be prepared that's all it will be. Some do go somewhere but very often, they don't. It's frankly best just to take away the emotions involved. If it develops beyond, congratulations..if it doesn't, at least no one gets upset.
To the guys, yes it can be THAT simple. Just be simple and clear. To the ladies, yes welcome to a side of modern relationships...if you have not already been initiated that is :)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
On a totally irrelevant note..I need to whine a bit..I saw a gal yesterday riding my FAVOURITE BIKE for 2B class, in COLOURS I LIKE, wearing a helmet SIMILAR TO MINE...soooo cool...sooooo jealous!!!!!!!!!!! *turns green and bites blanket* I really hope to finish it next year *sob sob*
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
New York! New York!
| You Belong in New York City |
 You're an energetic, ambitious woman. And only NYC is fast enough for you. Maybe you'll set yourself up with a killer career Or simply take in all the city has to offer. |
I knew it! New York! New York Here I come!... Soon I hope *laughs*
Kiss Kiss
| Your Kissing Purity Score: 49% Pure |
 You're not one to kiss and tell... But word is, you kiss pretty well. |
Well what can I say..BUT OF COURSE!! *big grin* oh in fact it should say "very well" it was just lousy html *laughs*
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
Simple Joys
Today I experienced one of the simple joys I had hoped to experience while living on my own.
Ever had a day when...
the sky is slightly dark and misty..
raindrops are gently pattering against your window..
your curtains are partially drawn..
soft soothing music playing in the background..
the aircon is giving a cool touch to the room..
you are just relaxed in the atmosphere...
I like these days...it's one of those days when you would love to just lay in bed and cuddle with a loved one..or perhaps a hot milo (chocolate for some people)..or perhaps just relax and soak in the atmosphere...no loved one, don't even have my teddy bear here and no milo at home so will just enjoy the atmosphere :)
Ever had a day when...
the sky is slightly dark and misty..
raindrops are gently pattering against your window..
your curtains are partially drawn..
soft soothing music playing in the background..
the aircon is giving a cool touch to the room..
you are just relaxed in the atmosphere...
I like these days...it's one of those days when you would love to just lay in bed and cuddle with a loved one..or perhaps a hot milo (chocolate for some people)..or perhaps just relax and soak in the atmosphere...no loved one, don't even have my teddy bear here and no milo at home so will just enjoy the atmosphere :)
Fragility of Life
Ok I admit, I haven't been following news very much but this morning, I finally read the papers and the news that greeted me was the tsunami memorial news.
I was greatly moved. I think i have not been moved by news in a long time. There's always too much bad news around so for news that touches a lot on the spirit of humanity and unity among the human race regardless of colour and wealth was indeed refreshing and touching.
This simple poem by Tilly Smith, dubbed "Angel of The Beach" was simple but hits home:
"It wasn't devastation or death that won the day
It was humanity that triumphed
The shining victory of generosity, courage, love"
I think this little girl will never look at life the same again. I think we as bystanders will never comprehend the kind of impact such an episode has on the people left behind. Nonetheless, it is a great source of inspiration that in one's darkest hours, it is when the greatest light will show. In man's worst is also when you see man's best.
I think it's a real show of when it comes to life, there isn't a line that draws between race, age, status. All is equal before the higher power and nature...Life is indeed fragile and precious... with every beginning is another beginning's end.
To the departed, the survivors, the heroes and all who were affected, my little wish of blessing goes out to you.
I was greatly moved. I think i have not been moved by news in a long time. There's always too much bad news around so for news that touches a lot on the spirit of humanity and unity among the human race regardless of colour and wealth was indeed refreshing and touching.
This simple poem by Tilly Smith, dubbed "Angel of The Beach" was simple but hits home:
"It wasn't devastation or death that won the day
It was humanity that triumphed
The shining victory of generosity, courage, love"
I think this little girl will never look at life the same again. I think we as bystanders will never comprehend the kind of impact such an episode has on the people left behind. Nonetheless, it is a great source of inspiration that in one's darkest hours, it is when the greatest light will show. In man's worst is also when you see man's best.
I think it's a real show of when it comes to life, there isn't a line that draws between race, age, status. All is equal before the higher power and nature...Life is indeed fragile and precious... with every beginning is another beginning's end.
To the departed, the survivors, the heroes and all who were affected, my little wish of blessing goes out to you.
Monday, December 26, 2005
A letter from me to You
Ah if you can read this entry..it either means you are inquisitive enough or you care enough. For the former, congratulations on breaking the simple code. For the latter, I thank you for caring enough to take that extra step to read what I write. You will probably read things I don't talk much about or some things very close to heart..if you care enough to read it, I would like to give my sincere appreciation here.
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Dear God,
The year is drawing to an end again. I have not been a good girl. Some things I did right. Some things I had to learn my lessons again. I am sorry I had to learn them again. I shouldn't...but I had to.
Dear God, this year, I was not determined enough. I didn't reach where I wanted to be and in fact pretty far off. Please help me to stay on my decision for 2006 and that I may finally embark on my journey that I had set out 3 years ago. Dear God, please help me to be the person and achieve my career and financial goals. Please give me clearer direction of where I am to head. I have seen more and more of it as the years passed. May they be clearer and may I be nearer to them in the year ahead.
Dear God I am still better off than I was last year and I have learnt new lessons about managing people and business. May they guide me and may good lessons continue to come..thank you.
Dear God..I am very blessed. I am blessed with many gifts. You gave me so much..normal body, a thinking mind, ability to sing and dance, so much...what do you have in mind Father? If you have to give me hard lessons, there must be a greatness I am meant to achieve. Father, please let 2006 be the year. I had looked forward to 2005. In a way, I am closer yet not any closer. Father please let it begin...
Dear God, I thank you that I have so many wonderful people in my life. I thank you for my friends, my family..that after so many years, they are still around. I am glad that I have learnt to appreciate them more. Dear God, please help me love them more and be a positive addition to their lives. Please help me to love others more, to give more, to serve more.
Dear God, there's someone who needs loving from me. That's me. Please help me love myself more and that I may do this with equal selflessness to others and myself. I am thankful that I have finally made the decision to move out. This has made me much more appreciative of my family. For that I am very thankful. I thank you for new good friends I found such as my team people, an unexpected client turned friend, renewal of relations with my long time buddies. I love them all..Dear God, please keep them in your blessings in the year ahead. May their lives be full of happiness and joy ahead.
Dear God, this year I had some new experiences..some of which I think many will not understand or perceive correctly. Some I look back and hate myself for it...that I knew I had broken lines..lines I had never broken, didn't want to and will never want to again. I am thankful that I have expanded my boundaries. I am thankful that I know I can go further if I wanted to but will not feel sorry for should I decide never to go the path again. I am thankful for the liberation of freedom of choice in an informed decision.
Dear God...the thing that I didn't want to write about. The thing I always found it hard to write honestly about.
Dear God, someone once told me..in this lifetime, one of my life lessons is to learn about love. This year I added new experiences in this area of different types of relationships that can occur. After the last major incident that taught me about the giving side of love, I had some small interludes in between that taught me about the other side of relationships that I never knew.
But Dear God, the last lesson must have been insufficient because Dear God, I fell in love again. I never expected it, didn't even see it with the person in question in the beginning but it happened. I took my precautions because I didn't want the same thing again. But it happened too fast and perhaps it only happened one way. Dear God, I thought after the last major incident, the hard lessons were finally coming to an end...but I was wrong. The lessons were even harder and harsher this time.
Dear God, I found courage only to be inflicted by the lack of it in return. It was the same thing all over again. I had wanted to believe in him even though I had feared the same. But he did not do the same. Perhaps because it had been such a great leap of faith that the lesson is hard this time. Dear God, it taught me a lot...not bitterness..but good things...the things that really matter.
Dear God, I lost my tongue. I didn't know the right things to say and do to make him happy. I didn't know the things to do to make him stay but I know if someone wanted to leave, there was nothing I could do either. Dear God, maybe I was really wrong. Maybe I was really played out. Somehow, I can't seem to tell myself that completely. It might have been the case but I cannot deny the bits of truth here and there..Dear God, I am sorry if I am delusional.
Dear God, I once heard that sometimes it hurts so much you wish it never happened in the first place. There were times when I wish I would wake up and not remember a thing. I have my regrets but if given a choice and life happened all over again, I think I will still choose to have him in my life. I think I am thankful for the brief moment of happiness. Till today, there are still episodes that bring a smile or laughter to my face should I recall it.
Dear God, I truly felt happy..in a long time..I finally felt really happy and peaceful. I didn't know how to tell him how happy I felt to have him in my life. I didn't know how to tell him I appreciated the things he had done for me and that it was really enough. I didn't know how to tell him I felt happy enough to naturally feel that I didn't need to look around. A strange sense of satisfaction I have not felt in a long time. I didn't know how to tell him..that someone had to tell him for me in a joke that I had to brush aside for sake of peace. I don't know if he will appreciate it even if he knew.
Some things I could never bring myself to say because I don't think they were what he wanted to hear and it was totally illogical and foolish of me. I finally understood what it meant that if you love someone, you have to let them go if they want to leave. If distance is what would make you happy then distance I will give. I am not bitter or angry truthfully. Alternative arrangements or good friendship is frankly good for me but I don't want to create any more impressions of pressure.
Dear God, for everything that has been good or a lesson, I thank you that I am able to wake up every morning, that I have family, friends and much more than many less fortunate than me. Dear God, please stay with me for the year to come.
Dear God, Thank you very much.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear God,
The year is drawing to an end again. I have not been a good girl. Some things I did right. Some things I had to learn my lessons again. I am sorry I had to learn them again. I shouldn't...but I had to.
Dear God, this year, I was not determined enough. I didn't reach where I wanted to be and in fact pretty far off. Please help me to stay on my decision for 2006 and that I may finally embark on my journey that I had set out 3 years ago. Dear God, please help me to be the person and achieve my career and financial goals. Please give me clearer direction of where I am to head. I have seen more and more of it as the years passed. May they be clearer and may I be nearer to them in the year ahead.
Dear God I am still better off than I was last year and I have learnt new lessons about managing people and business. May they guide me and may good lessons continue to come..thank you.
Dear God..I am very blessed. I am blessed with many gifts. You gave me so much..normal body, a thinking mind, ability to sing and dance, so much...what do you have in mind Father? If you have to give me hard lessons, there must be a greatness I am meant to achieve. Father, please let 2006 be the year. I had looked forward to 2005. In a way, I am closer yet not any closer. Father please let it begin...
Dear God, I thank you that I have so many wonderful people in my life. I thank you for my friends, my family..that after so many years, they are still around. I am glad that I have learnt to appreciate them more. Dear God, please help me love them more and be a positive addition to their lives. Please help me to love others more, to give more, to serve more.
Dear God, there's someone who needs loving from me. That's me. Please help me love myself more and that I may do this with equal selflessness to others and myself. I am thankful that I have finally made the decision to move out. This has made me much more appreciative of my family. For that I am very thankful. I thank you for new good friends I found such as my team people, an unexpected client turned friend, renewal of relations with my long time buddies. I love them all..Dear God, please keep them in your blessings in the year ahead. May their lives be full of happiness and joy ahead.
Dear God, this year I had some new experiences..some of which I think many will not understand or perceive correctly. Some I look back and hate myself for it...that I knew I had broken lines..lines I had never broken, didn't want to and will never want to again. I am thankful that I have expanded my boundaries. I am thankful that I know I can go further if I wanted to but will not feel sorry for should I decide never to go the path again. I am thankful for the liberation of freedom of choice in an informed decision.
Dear God...the thing that I didn't want to write about. The thing I always found it hard to write honestly about.
Dear God, someone once told me..in this lifetime, one of my life lessons is to learn about love. This year I added new experiences in this area of different types of relationships that can occur. After the last major incident that taught me about the giving side of love, I had some small interludes in between that taught me about the other side of relationships that I never knew.
But Dear God, the last lesson must have been insufficient because Dear God, I fell in love again. I never expected it, didn't even see it with the person in question in the beginning but it happened. I took my precautions because I didn't want the same thing again. But it happened too fast and perhaps it only happened one way. Dear God, I thought after the last major incident, the hard lessons were finally coming to an end...but I was wrong. The lessons were even harder and harsher this time.
Dear God, I found courage only to be inflicted by the lack of it in return. It was the same thing all over again. I had wanted to believe in him even though I had feared the same. But he did not do the same. Perhaps because it had been such a great leap of faith that the lesson is hard this time. Dear God, it taught me a lot...not bitterness..but good things...the things that really matter.
Dear God, I lost my tongue. I didn't know the right things to say and do to make him happy. I didn't know the things to do to make him stay but I know if someone wanted to leave, there was nothing I could do either. Dear God, maybe I was really wrong. Maybe I was really played out. Somehow, I can't seem to tell myself that completely. It might have been the case but I cannot deny the bits of truth here and there..Dear God, I am sorry if I am delusional.
Dear God, I once heard that sometimes it hurts so much you wish it never happened in the first place. There were times when I wish I would wake up and not remember a thing. I have my regrets but if given a choice and life happened all over again, I think I will still choose to have him in my life. I think I am thankful for the brief moment of happiness. Till today, there are still episodes that bring a smile or laughter to my face should I recall it.
Dear God, I truly felt happy..in a long time..I finally felt really happy and peaceful. I didn't know how to tell him how happy I felt to have him in my life. I didn't know how to tell him I appreciated the things he had done for me and that it was really enough. I didn't know how to tell him I felt happy enough to naturally feel that I didn't need to look around. A strange sense of satisfaction I have not felt in a long time. I didn't know how to tell him..that someone had to tell him for me in a joke that I had to brush aside for sake of peace. I don't know if he will appreciate it even if he knew.
Some things I could never bring myself to say because I don't think they were what he wanted to hear and it was totally illogical and foolish of me. I finally understood what it meant that if you love someone, you have to let them go if they want to leave. If distance is what would make you happy then distance I will give. I am not bitter or angry truthfully. Alternative arrangements or good friendship is frankly good for me but I don't want to create any more impressions of pressure.
Dear God, for everything that has been good or a lesson, I thank you that I am able to wake up every morning, that I have family, friends and much more than many less fortunate than me. Dear God, please stay with me for the year to come.
Dear God, Thank you very much.
Sunday, December 25, 2005
From The Bottom Of My Broken Heart
Ok a lot of people don't like Britney Spears..as a dancer I would say she has quite a number of danceable songs..But there is a couple of ballads that I think often go unnoticed. This is one of those I liked for a long time...nice tune, moving lyrics and rendition..moved me to tears a few times...gee so embarrassing *laughs*
From the Bottom of My Broken Heart - Britney Spears
"Never look back," we said
How was I to know I'd miss you so?
Loneliness up ahead, emptiness behind
Where do I go?
And you didn't hear
All my joy through my tears
All my hopes through my fears
Did you know, still I miss you somehow
[CHORUS:]
From the bottom of my broken heart
There's just a thing or two
I'd like you to know
You were my first love, you were my true love
From the first kiss to the very last rose
From the bottom of my broken heart
Even though time may find me somebody new
You were my real love, I never knew love
'Til there was you
From the bottom of my broken heart
"Baby," I said, "please stay.
Give our love a chance for one more day"
We could have worked things out
Taking time is what love's all about
But you put a dart
Through my dreams through my heart
And I'm back where I started again
Never thought it would end
[CHORUS]
You promised yourself
But to somebody else
And you made it so perfectly clear
Still I wish you were here
[CHORUS]
"Never look back," we said
How was I to know I'd miss you so?
From the Bottom of My Broken Heart - Britney Spears
"Never look back," we said
How was I to know I'd miss you so?
Loneliness up ahead, emptiness behind
Where do I go?
And you didn't hear
All my joy through my tears
All my hopes through my fears
Did you know, still I miss you somehow
[CHORUS:]
From the bottom of my broken heart
There's just a thing or two
I'd like you to know
You were my first love, you were my true love
From the first kiss to the very last rose
From the bottom of my broken heart
Even though time may find me somebody new
You were my real love, I never knew love
'Til there was you
From the bottom of my broken heart
"Baby," I said, "please stay.
Give our love a chance for one more day"
We could have worked things out
Taking time is what love's all about
But you put a dart
Through my dreams through my heart
And I'm back where I started again
Never thought it would end
[CHORUS]
You promised yourself
But to somebody else
And you made it so perfectly clear
Still I wish you were here
[CHORUS]
"Never look back," we said
How was I to know I'd miss you so?
Welcome To Wherever You Are
I heard this one the radio and found the lyrics to be rather meaningful...good song especially for this time of the year when one looks back and prepares for the new year ahead..
Welcome To Wherever You Are - Bon Jovi
Maybe we're different, but we're still the same
We all got the blood of Eden, running through our veins
I know sometimes it's hard for you to see
You come between just who you are and who you wanna be
If you feel alone, and lost and need a friend
Remember every new beginning, is some beginning's end
[Chorus]
Welcome to wherever you are
This is your life, you made it this far
Welcome, you gotta believe
That right here right now, you're exactly where you're supposed to be
Welcome, to wherever you are
When everybody's in, and you're left out
And you feel your drowning, in a shadow of a doubt
Everyones a miracle in their own way
Just listen to yourself, not what other people say
When it seems you're lost, alone and feeling down
Remember everybody's different
Just take a look around
[Chorus]
Be who you want to, be who you are
Everyones a hero, everyones a star
When you wanna give up, and your hearts about to break
Remember that you're perfect, God makes no mistakes
Welcome To Wherever You Are - Bon Jovi
Maybe we're different, but we're still the same
We all got the blood of Eden, running through our veins
I know sometimes it's hard for you to see
You come between just who you are and who you wanna be
If you feel alone, and lost and need a friend
Remember every new beginning, is some beginning's end
[Chorus]
Welcome to wherever you are
This is your life, you made it this far
Welcome, you gotta believe
That right here right now, you're exactly where you're supposed to be
Welcome, to wherever you are
When everybody's in, and you're left out
And you feel your drowning, in a shadow of a doubt
Everyones a miracle in their own way
Just listen to yourself, not what other people say
When it seems you're lost, alone and feeling down
Remember everybody's different
Just take a look around
[Chorus]
Be who you want to, be who you are
Everyones a hero, everyones a star
When you wanna give up, and your hearts about to break
Remember that you're perfect, God makes no mistakes
Above & Below The Line. Face Value.
Yesterday I was talking to one of my gal friends and we came to this point where we were discussing that amongst some of the guys we know, there's a line that draws between how they look at different girls.
There are those which for the sake of modesty, I will call below the belt ooops the line I mean, type, You get the idea. It's quite sad really...the girls in this category don't seem to be remembered very much beyond being below the belt. Not very humane if you think of it..."Just one of the many". Pretty much like the type F I have mentioned in another post. I think it happens the other way round for some girls too.
The sad thing is, often...girls don't realise when they are just one of the many till it comes to a heatbreaking realisation one day. Good for the gals who know it beforehand and know what they are getting themselves into. I realise when it comes to these things..there's a difference between "can do" or "want to do". You can, doesn't mean you want to. I know some who get involved in such affairs for the wrong reasons be it being cheated by the guy, finding a substitute for someone else or just plain spite. The morning after is usually sad, Those are cases of cannot do and don't want to but just do..it's wrong, really wrong because the loss of self respect after is hardly worth the easy solution.
There are the girls who come above the line, be it friends or girls with more potential beyond being the nameless crowd. You have a face, worth showing a bit more of the real person in the guy and that simple line makes all the difference. Kinda like Type R or Type D. Suddenly, the gal becomes more worthy of being nice to. She has a face, a name and feelings. She's human. I think this is especially acute in guys where you see they treat their friends really well and their girlfriends..erm well..
We also talked about some of our guy friends who seem to behave like bastards or bad boys because they have an image to upkeep. Is it because of conventional wisdom that girls like bad boys? I remember one told me..there's no point in being nice. He has been nice, sent countless drunk girls home but there's no point. Ah this reminds me of the posts on male bastards. Many start out being nice. Well maybe there is an element of truth because humans tend to take things for granted. Given this, it's the same as well for girls. I have seen real life cases...men do not treasure women nice to them. Well to these men and women who feel they should be bad for sake of being bad...sorry you simply are with the wrong person.
Friends have said perhaps I have a thing for bad boys. I think I just like them unusual. I am sorry to say, but the typical Singaporean man bores me. Maybe these unusual people appear bad boy type or maybe I am the one who needs to go throw myself against the wall for some realisation. The funny thing, the reason I chose some people over others is for the very reason opposite of bad boys. I was once faced with an existing choice of a seemingly unsettled fun type versus someone new who was in my opinion, sincere and most real person I met in a long time. I chose the latter. Did I choose the man cos he seemed wild and happening enough? *laughs* ...NO. I remember my thoughts very clearly at that point. Was I wrong? Don't know. Was I one of the many? Maybe, maybe not. Ever wondered? Yes.
Nonetheless...being bad to upkeep an image...seems wrong to me. If you have a heart then just have a heart la. It's not who the person is. If this is not what the person is, then what does he or she expect another party to love? The person that they try to be or the person they really are? Funny thing is I don't really think these guys need to..I think they have enough qualities for gals to like them for real. Strange world this is.
There are those which for the sake of modesty, I will call below the belt ooops the line I mean, type, You get the idea. It's quite sad really...the girls in this category don't seem to be remembered very much beyond being below the belt. Not very humane if you think of it..."Just one of the many". Pretty much like the type F I have mentioned in another post. I think it happens the other way round for some girls too.
The sad thing is, often...girls don't realise when they are just one of the many till it comes to a heatbreaking realisation one day. Good for the gals who know it beforehand and know what they are getting themselves into. I realise when it comes to these things..there's a difference between "can do" or "want to do". You can, doesn't mean you want to. I know some who get involved in such affairs for the wrong reasons be it being cheated by the guy, finding a substitute for someone else or just plain spite. The morning after is usually sad, Those are cases of cannot do and don't want to but just do..it's wrong, really wrong because the loss of self respect after is hardly worth the easy solution.
There are the girls who come above the line, be it friends or girls with more potential beyond being the nameless crowd. You have a face, worth showing a bit more of the real person in the guy and that simple line makes all the difference. Kinda like Type R or Type D. Suddenly, the gal becomes more worthy of being nice to. She has a face, a name and feelings. She's human. I think this is especially acute in guys where you see they treat their friends really well and their girlfriends..erm well..
We also talked about some of our guy friends who seem to behave like bastards or bad boys because they have an image to upkeep. Is it because of conventional wisdom that girls like bad boys? I remember one told me..there's no point in being nice. He has been nice, sent countless drunk girls home but there's no point. Ah this reminds me of the posts on male bastards. Many start out being nice. Well maybe there is an element of truth because humans tend to take things for granted. Given this, it's the same as well for girls. I have seen real life cases...men do not treasure women nice to them. Well to these men and women who feel they should be bad for sake of being bad...sorry you simply are with the wrong person.
Friends have said perhaps I have a thing for bad boys. I think I just like them unusual. I am sorry to say, but the typical Singaporean man bores me. Maybe these unusual people appear bad boy type or maybe I am the one who needs to go throw myself against the wall for some realisation. The funny thing, the reason I chose some people over others is for the very reason opposite of bad boys. I was once faced with an existing choice of a seemingly unsettled fun type versus someone new who was in my opinion, sincere and most real person I met in a long time. I chose the latter. Did I choose the man cos he seemed wild and happening enough? *laughs* ...NO. I remember my thoughts very clearly at that point. Was I wrong? Don't know. Was I one of the many? Maybe, maybe not. Ever wondered? Yes.
Nonetheless...being bad to upkeep an image...seems wrong to me. If you have a heart then just have a heart la. It's not who the person is. If this is not what the person is, then what does he or she expect another party to love? The person that they try to be or the person they really are? Funny thing is I don't really think these guys need to..I think they have enough qualities for gals to like them for real. Strange world this is.
A Potluck X'mas
Ahh I had a potluck dinner at my place...It was meant to be a girlie thing but we didn't mind the guys joining us..had candles , table setting and all...apparently my gal was impressed enough to wanna make me her wedding planner...I have always wanted to do these small cosy dinners with friends..Food and wine...ahhhh nice...I hope to have pictures up here soon!
I got a gorgeous present from Xuan..I love it! *hugs* Did I mention it makes me look gorgeous too? *laughs*
After a few rounds of liquid poison, we headed to a yacht x'mas party..It was packed but an experience no less.. It was evident people were high and happy..R&B music was blasting and people were just out to have a night of fun..personally I thought it was a nice experience especially with the excellent company..Most of us had a go at dancing on the counter top *laughs* I think people might find the idea of a private yacht party scandalous sounding but it was pretty much clean fun though there was no lack of music, poisons, smokes and babes.
How was your X'mas?
Seeing but not seeing...there but not really there.
Would like to find the words but the words don't find themselves or they stop in their tracks.
The weight of pride and the shoulds versus the weight of truthfulness.
When truth matters to no one and truth is wrong.
Courage, teach me to be shy because foolishness is out of the question.
I got a gorgeous present from Xuan..I love it! *hugs* Did I mention it makes me look gorgeous too? *laughs*
After a few rounds of liquid poison, we headed to a yacht x'mas party..It was packed but an experience no less.. It was evident people were high and happy..R&B music was blasting and people were just out to have a night of fun..personally I thought it was a nice experience especially with the excellent company..Most of us had a go at dancing on the counter top *laughs* I think people might find the idea of a private yacht party scandalous sounding but it was pretty much clean fun though there was no lack of music, poisons, smokes and babes.
How was your X'mas?
Seeing but not seeing...there but not really there.
Would like to find the words but the words don't find themselves or they stop in their tracks.
The weight of pride and the shoulds versus the weight of truthfulness.
When truth matters to no one and truth is wrong.
Courage, teach me to be shy because foolishness is out of the question.
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Travel Light
I read this in an email a friend sent me and thought it was a good article to share..An important thing to think about I guess
TRAVEL LIGHT
By Dr. John C. Maxwell
One of the first international trips my wife, Margaret, and I took together was to Japan. When we were choosing luggage for our journey, we decided toget the biggest suitcases we could find. It seemed like a logical idea at the time. After all, the bigger the suitcase, the more we could pack in it.Unfortunately, while we were packing, it never once occurred to me that we were going to have to carry those bags wherever we went.
Now, if you know anything at all about Japan, you know that traveling by rail is often the best way to get around there. Needless to say, we spent a lot of time lugging our suitcases in and out of train stations. I remember going to one particular depot with two bags that were as big as me, both stuffed nearly to bursting. I was struggling to get to the train with my suitcases,Margaret was struggling down the street with hers, and neither of us was very happy about the whole situation.Finally, I'd had enough. I stopped right where I was, put the suitcases down and said, "Margaret, anyone who can carry these suitcases can have them! I'm just going to leave them right here. I'm not carrying them anymore."
That little incident, which my sweet wife and I jokingly say is closest we ever came to getting divorced, taught us a valuable lesson: Travel light.
Margaret and I learned this lesson so well that, on subsequent trips, we've literally gone out of the country with nothing but our carry-on luggage. In addition to preserving our marital bliss, traveling light alleviates the stress of keeping track of numerous bags, saves time previously spent waiting around at airport baggage claims and keeps us from getting worn out before we ever get to our destination. On top of all that, it doesn't take us nearly as long to unpack once we get home.
As helpful as it is to travel light on a business trip or vacation, it's even more critical to travel light through life. Let me explain what I mean. Many people go through life with far too much emotional baggage. They didn't necessarily intend to fill the biggest bags they could find with their personal junk, but along the way, they've somehow managed to collectquite a stash. A chip on the shoulder here; an ugly batch of pent-up anger there. Ten years' worth of hurt feelings here; three decades of rejection there. I could go on, but I'm sure you get the picture.
Sadly, these individuals fail to realize the damage their excess baggage is inflicting on themselves and others. For example, a recent survey indicatedthat people with emotional problems are 144 percent more likely to have automobile accidents than those who do not have such problems. In addition,one of the study's most sobering findings was that one out of every five victims of fatal accidents had quarreled with someone in the six hours before the accident.
This is why it's so important to practice what I call "keeping short accounts." When you keep a short account, you ask for forgiveness quickly when you hurt someone. When you treat someone badly, you make it right as soon as possible. You don't hold grudges. You don't go to bed angry. You don't allow your own injured feelings to fester into bitterness or resentment.
The importance of keeping short accounts really hit home with me when I had a heart attack several years ago. As I lay there, honestly not knowing if Iwas going to live or die, I felt a tremendous amount of peace because I knew my relational ledger was clean. Ironically, the thought that kept coming to my mind during those first tense hours was, "I don't have to call anybody on the phone."
It was true. I didn't have to make any last-ditch apologies or ninth-hour requests for forgiveness because I had made an intentional effort to travel light through life.From a practical standpoint, traveling light means that I have to ask somebody to forgive me almost every day. It means that I often have to sit down with Margaret and say, "I'm sorry for using that tone of voice; I was wrong." It means that I have to initiate reconciliation with people who have offended me, not wait for them to make the first move.None of this is easy. It's often humbling and hard on my ego.
And yet, the alternative is much worse. Failing to travel light blurs your focus on what really matters and impairs your ability to live and lead effectively. So ifyou're carrying a bunch of excess baggage, get rid of it. Write a letter.Make a phone call. Do whatever you need to do.Just do it now. You've got more important things to do than cart around unnecessary and potentially life-threatening uggage for the rest of your life.
TRAVEL LIGHT
By Dr. John C. Maxwell
One of the first international trips my wife, Margaret, and I took together was to Japan. When we were choosing luggage for our journey, we decided toget the biggest suitcases we could find. It seemed like a logical idea at the time. After all, the bigger the suitcase, the more we could pack in it.Unfortunately, while we were packing, it never once occurred to me that we were going to have to carry those bags wherever we went.
Now, if you know anything at all about Japan, you know that traveling by rail is often the best way to get around there. Needless to say, we spent a lot of time lugging our suitcases in and out of train stations. I remember going to one particular depot with two bags that were as big as me, both stuffed nearly to bursting. I was struggling to get to the train with my suitcases,Margaret was struggling down the street with hers, and neither of us was very happy about the whole situation.Finally, I'd had enough. I stopped right where I was, put the suitcases down and said, "Margaret, anyone who can carry these suitcases can have them! I'm just going to leave them right here. I'm not carrying them anymore."
That little incident, which my sweet wife and I jokingly say is closest we ever came to getting divorced, taught us a valuable lesson: Travel light.
Margaret and I learned this lesson so well that, on subsequent trips, we've literally gone out of the country with nothing but our carry-on luggage. In addition to preserving our marital bliss, traveling light alleviates the stress of keeping track of numerous bags, saves time previously spent waiting around at airport baggage claims and keeps us from getting worn out before we ever get to our destination. On top of all that, it doesn't take us nearly as long to unpack once we get home.
As helpful as it is to travel light on a business trip or vacation, it's even more critical to travel light through life. Let me explain what I mean. Many people go through life with far too much emotional baggage. They didn't necessarily intend to fill the biggest bags they could find with their personal junk, but along the way, they've somehow managed to collectquite a stash. A chip on the shoulder here; an ugly batch of pent-up anger there. Ten years' worth of hurt feelings here; three decades of rejection there. I could go on, but I'm sure you get the picture.
Sadly, these individuals fail to realize the damage their excess baggage is inflicting on themselves and others. For example, a recent survey indicatedthat people with emotional problems are 144 percent more likely to have automobile accidents than those who do not have such problems. In addition,one of the study's most sobering findings was that one out of every five victims of fatal accidents had quarreled with someone in the six hours before the accident.
This is why it's so important to practice what I call "keeping short accounts." When you keep a short account, you ask for forgiveness quickly when you hurt someone. When you treat someone badly, you make it right as soon as possible. You don't hold grudges. You don't go to bed angry. You don't allow your own injured feelings to fester into bitterness or resentment.
The importance of keeping short accounts really hit home with me when I had a heart attack several years ago. As I lay there, honestly not knowing if Iwas going to live or die, I felt a tremendous amount of peace because I knew my relational ledger was clean. Ironically, the thought that kept coming to my mind during those first tense hours was, "I don't have to call anybody on the phone."
It was true. I didn't have to make any last-ditch apologies or ninth-hour requests for forgiveness because I had made an intentional effort to travel light through life.From a practical standpoint, traveling light means that I have to ask somebody to forgive me almost every day. It means that I often have to sit down with Margaret and say, "I'm sorry for using that tone of voice; I was wrong." It means that I have to initiate reconciliation with people who have offended me, not wait for them to make the first move.None of this is easy. It's often humbling and hard on my ego.
And yet, the alternative is much worse. Failing to travel light blurs your focus on what really matters and impairs your ability to live and lead effectively. So ifyou're carrying a bunch of excess baggage, get rid of it. Write a letter.Make a phone call. Do whatever you need to do.Just do it now. You've got more important things to do than cart around unnecessary and potentially life-threatening uggage for the rest of your life.
Sunday, December 18, 2005
Someone Loves Me *Laughs*
Someone said "I Love You" to me last night..though in a drunken and hyper state..thank you..I love you too *laughs* If not for love, I don't know what it is that made me go with you last few days *laughs*
Wah I can't believe it..thanks to the benefit of my gal, I have been out to the clubs 3 days in a row...gee I have not clubbed so much in a long time man. It was fun last night cos I haven't met all the loves of my life in a long time..ahhhh so happy to see you guys...
I am very happy to have you guys in my life after so many years..so much sh*t..so many funny things..having you guys in my life is certainly one of the highlights in my life..a pillar of happiness..I hope our friendship lasts and till the very end, I will be happy and proud to exclaim this again.
Dear God, thank you very much for my buddies..you know who you are :)
Looking Back 2
I can't really say it's the best or worst thing...you are probably the most unexpected, the happiest and saddest thing that happened to me for 2005..
Saturday, December 17, 2005
Looking Back 1
One thing I love about swimming is that when I swim, I don't need to think and things will come to me suddenly with amazing clarity. Exercise has this wonderful effect on people ..more oxygen maybe?
It's the time of the year again. I walked down Orchard Road and saw the pretty lights. It's the time of the year when people relax, have fun and think back on the year.
I remember about 3 years ago, a friend asked me at East Coast what I wanted to do. I told him of the many things I hope to do before 30. He told me at that point.."Cat, you'll have to make sacrifices."
I think at that point, I saw what he meant but I didn't understand it or wanted to accept it as much as when I met a very successful woman recently. Ladies, we expect a lot of our men. The fact is they do make a lot of sacrifices that we may not know about. The same goes for women...success comes at a price.
I think the lucky thing for me was I saw my vision when I was young. I saw it but I was not ready for it. I took a long road..gained much...lost much...disappointed people who loved me..saw things I liked..learnt things that I didn't like..it's been a long winding road.
I remember the end of 2004, I really looked forward to 2005. I mean I REALLY for the first time in my life couldn't wait for a new year to come. The past 3 years has been full of upheavals..small maybe compared to some people..with 2005 possibly being a climax. I hope 2006 won't be the same..upheaval yes but in the way I would like it to be. I would very much like to say I finally feel more mentally and emotionally ready for the things I had wanted to do but I may well look back and say I was still not ready this time. Let's hope I really am...though I can say I certainly feel more ready than the time I had talked to my friend at East Coast...a feeling of the dust settling.
I don't want to make resolutions because I won't keep them. I would like to say I made a decision. A very simple one but one that took 3 years to get me ready for it. I won't say it..I just hope at the end of 2006 I have done it and am closer to where I would like to be.
It's the time of the year again. I walked down Orchard Road and saw the pretty lights. It's the time of the year when people relax, have fun and think back on the year.
I remember about 3 years ago, a friend asked me at East Coast what I wanted to do. I told him of the many things I hope to do before 30. He told me at that point.."Cat, you'll have to make sacrifices."
I think at that point, I saw what he meant but I didn't understand it or wanted to accept it as much as when I met a very successful woman recently. Ladies, we expect a lot of our men. The fact is they do make a lot of sacrifices that we may not know about. The same goes for women...success comes at a price.
I think the lucky thing for me was I saw my vision when I was young. I saw it but I was not ready for it. I took a long road..gained much...lost much...disappointed people who loved me..saw things I liked..learnt things that I didn't like..it's been a long winding road.
I remember the end of 2004, I really looked forward to 2005. I mean I REALLY for the first time in my life couldn't wait for a new year to come. The past 3 years has been full of upheavals..small maybe compared to some people..with 2005 possibly being a climax. I hope 2006 won't be the same..upheaval yes but in the way I would like it to be. I would very much like to say I finally feel more mentally and emotionally ready for the things I had wanted to do but I may well look back and say I was still not ready this time. Let's hope I really am...though I can say I certainly feel more ready than the time I had talked to my friend at East Coast...a feeling of the dust settling.
I don't want to make resolutions because I won't keep them. I would like to say I made a decision. A very simple one but one that took 3 years to get me ready for it. I won't say it..I just hope at the end of 2006 I have done it and am closer to where I would like to be.
MoS & The Right Thing
Ok somehow I managed to get myself into Ministry of Sound free for the pre-opening and opening party. Have you ever spent 1 hour in a carpark waiting to get out of it? I just did. I even fell asleep in the car..how ridiculous is that?
That aside, the club is gorgeous. The concept is good with different halls for different music along with matching chic decor. People are gorgeous too, though a lot of posers as well. Nice place to hang out, see and be seen though I must forewarn possible LONG queues. The R&B room music was lacklustre but overall the experience was great..will go again :)
I had a visitor I haven't hung out with in a long time today. I t was a surprise but it also made me realise some things will only be clear a long time after everything is over.
Today a friend told me something that set me thinking. Dear friend, I do wish I could tell you more...but I think it is not a good idea..maybe one day...Perhaps you will then agree the thing I have to do is the right thing because the thing I want to do is no longer an option to me anymore. You will probably tell me to do what I am doing even if it makes me unhappy because it is the best thing and the right thing to do. Maybe I have excuses, always have excuses...but in solitude...I spend a lot of time...sometimes too much...blaming myself. Maybe it is this I have to release along with other things.
Hmm I notice I tend to feel cold more easily these days...maybe I am getting slimmer? :P Now THAT'S an excuse for sure *laughs*
That aside, the club is gorgeous. The concept is good with different halls for different music along with matching chic decor. People are gorgeous too, though a lot of posers as well. Nice place to hang out, see and be seen though I must forewarn possible LONG queues. The R&B room music was lacklustre but overall the experience was great..will go again :)
I had a visitor I haven't hung out with in a long time today. I t was a surprise but it also made me realise some things will only be clear a long time after everything is over.
Today a friend told me something that set me thinking. Dear friend, I do wish I could tell you more...but I think it is not a good idea..maybe one day...Perhaps you will then agree the thing I have to do is the right thing because the thing I want to do is no longer an option to me anymore. You will probably tell me to do what I am doing even if it makes me unhappy because it is the best thing and the right thing to do. Maybe I have excuses, always have excuses...but in solitude...I spend a lot of time...sometimes too much...blaming myself. Maybe it is this I have to release along with other things.
Hmm I notice I tend to feel cold more easily these days...maybe I am getting slimmer? :P Now THAT'S an excuse for sure *laughs*
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
Of Writing and Irony
Yesterday, a friend commented that bloggers are people unable to internalise and deal with things in their lives. Is it true?
I guess to a certain extent. I agree sometimes it becomes an outlet for things that happen around me or to people around me. Sometime when things pop up in my mind and I wonder so I put it down in writing. Why declare things for the world to see? Ever wondered maybe things that aren't meant to be shared will not be shared? Ever wondered maybe the messages are there but you won't see it unless you really read between the lines?
I like to write. A part of me always wanted to be a writer. I always wanted to write for a column if I could..a bit like Carrie in Sex and The City. I like to write about people because people are never the same..never black and white, good or bad. That's reserved for fairytales. I like reality where lines are never clear and irony is blatant. Irony is a fact of life. I like simplicity for its beauty, complexity for its mystery.
Sometimes I think I am a walking contradiction. It may be confusion but I like to see it as enjoying many different things in life. I like art, dance, sing, do girly things but yet I like the feeling on a bike and I wanna do kickboxing because of the strength and force behind it..the feeling I can break your neck if I wanted to *laughs*. I am emotional but I am masculine far more than many women especially after I moved out. A friend commented I am like a tomboy in a girly body. I am soft yet I am hard. I wished I was more feminine, swore less but that's me baby. One thing that really made me respect my previous guy was he could accept me for not being the sweetest thing you meet on the street.
I like this song..love the lyrics
Both Sides Now - Joni Mitchell
Rows and flows of angel hair
And ice cream castles in the air
And feather canyons everywhere
I've looked at clouds that way
But now they only block the sun
They rain and they snow on everyone
So many things I would have done
But clouds got in my way
I've looked at clouds from both sides now
From up and down, and still somehow
It's cloud illusions I recall
I really don't know clouds at all
Moons and Junes and Ferris wheels
The dizzy dancing way that you feel
As every fairy tale comes real
I've looked at love that way
But now it's just another show
And you leave 'em laughing when you go
And if you care, don't let them know
Don't give yourself away
I've looked at love from both sides now
From give and take, and still somehow
It's love's illusions I recall
I really don't know love
Really don't know love at all
Tears and fears and feeling proud
To say "I love you" right out loud
Dreams and schemes and circus crowds
I've looked at life that way
Oh but now old friends they're acting strange
And they shake their heads
And they tell me that I've changed
Well something's lost but something's gained
In living every day
I've looked at life from both sides now
From win and lose and still somehow
It's life's illusions I recall
I really don't know life at all
It's life's illusions I recall
I really don't know life
I really don't know life at all
I guess to a certain extent. I agree sometimes it becomes an outlet for things that happen around me or to people around me. Sometime when things pop up in my mind and I wonder so I put it down in writing. Why declare things for the world to see? Ever wondered maybe things that aren't meant to be shared will not be shared? Ever wondered maybe the messages are there but you won't see it unless you really read between the lines?
I like to write. A part of me always wanted to be a writer. I always wanted to write for a column if I could..a bit like Carrie in Sex and The City. I like to write about people because people are never the same..never black and white, good or bad. That's reserved for fairytales. I like reality where lines are never clear and irony is blatant. Irony is a fact of life. I like simplicity for its beauty, complexity for its mystery.
Sometimes I think I am a walking contradiction. It may be confusion but I like to see it as enjoying many different things in life. I like art, dance, sing, do girly things but yet I like the feeling on a bike and I wanna do kickboxing because of the strength and force behind it..the feeling I can break your neck if I wanted to *laughs*. I am emotional but I am masculine far more than many women especially after I moved out. A friend commented I am like a tomboy in a girly body. I am soft yet I am hard. I wished I was more feminine, swore less but that's me baby. One thing that really made me respect my previous guy was he could accept me for not being the sweetest thing you meet on the street.
I like this song..love the lyrics
Both Sides Now - Joni Mitchell
Rows and flows of angel hair
And ice cream castles in the air
And feather canyons everywhere
I've looked at clouds that way
But now they only block the sun
They rain and they snow on everyone
So many things I would have done
But clouds got in my way
I've looked at clouds from both sides now
From up and down, and still somehow
It's cloud illusions I recall
I really don't know clouds at all
Moons and Junes and Ferris wheels
The dizzy dancing way that you feel
As every fairy tale comes real
I've looked at love that way
But now it's just another show
And you leave 'em laughing when you go
And if you care, don't let them know
Don't give yourself away
I've looked at love from both sides now
From give and take, and still somehow
It's love's illusions I recall
I really don't know love
Really don't know love at all
Tears and fears and feeling proud
To say "I love you" right out loud
Dreams and schemes and circus crowds
I've looked at life that way
Oh but now old friends they're acting strange
And they shake their heads
And they tell me that I've changed
Well something's lost but something's gained
In living every day
I've looked at life from both sides now
From win and lose and still somehow
It's life's illusions I recall
I really don't know life at all
It's life's illusions I recall
I really don't know life
I really don't know life at all
Monday, December 12, 2005
The Paradox of Power
I saw this in a friend's blog and loved it. Have a read and ponder :)
Saturday, December 10, 2005
"The Parafaith War"- An Excerpt
I reread the entire book again. This is one of the things that really affected my view on power. It talks about violence, but power comes with the ability to create this violence. To me, it talks about the responsibility that comes with the wielding of power.
"Can violence and the use of force to effect change upon the universe be left to the young? Do they see what was, what is, and what might yet be? Have they suffered, watched evil fall upon the good, or good upon the evil?"
Or should the burden of violence be left to those who can bear it most lightly - upon those who have closed their minds or their feelings? How then can they understand the suffering that they must inflict?"
Should the burden of force be laid upon the short-lived, who will not see the consequences of their actions? How can they dispense force with compassion if they can escape the knowledge of what they do?"
The greater the force brought to bear, the older and wiser must the entity who wields it. Wisdom allows sorrow. Age allows experience, and knowledge reinforces wisdom and experience."Those who would bear the burden of force must be those who are strong and do not seek it, for those who seek force would misuse it, and those who are weak would shy from what they must do."
Hence the paradox of power and force.
Saturday, December 10, 2005
"The Parafaith War"- An Excerpt
I reread the entire book again. This is one of the things that really affected my view on power. It talks about violence, but power comes with the ability to create this violence. To me, it talks about the responsibility that comes with the wielding of power.
"Can violence and the use of force to effect change upon the universe be left to the young? Do they see what was, what is, and what might yet be? Have they suffered, watched evil fall upon the good, or good upon the evil?"
Or should the burden of violence be left to those who can bear it most lightly - upon those who have closed their minds or their feelings? How then can they understand the suffering that they must inflict?"
Should the burden of force be laid upon the short-lived, who will not see the consequences of their actions? How can they dispense force with compassion if they can escape the knowledge of what they do?"
The greater the force brought to bear, the older and wiser must the entity who wields it. Wisdom allows sorrow. Age allows experience, and knowledge reinforces wisdom and experience."Those who would bear the burden of force must be those who are strong and do not seek it, for those who seek force would misuse it, and those who are weak would shy from what they must do."
Hence the paradox of power and force.
Saturday, December 10, 2005
Beautiful Girl
Beautiful girl
You called me this morning
Telling me about your little rendezvous
The thrill of freshness
Beautiful girl
You tell you want satisfaction
Is it the flesh or love
You are chasing after?
Beautiful girl
You shine in the neon lights
The face of an angel
Your body blessed by the devil
Beautiful girl
When you wake up in the morning
When neon lights are no longer
What do you find left over?
Beautiful girl
Look beside you
Look in the mirror
Do you see the face of a stranger?
Beautiful girl
Are you looking for something?
There's nothing there
Just emptiness
Beautiful girl
You have been through this
More than enough to know
You have never been beyond it
Beautiful girl
If it is satisfaction
You are after
Walk away
Beautiful girl,
If it is love
You are after
Look for it in the right places
Beautiful girl
Love yourself
You are worth more
Far more than any vulture
Beautiful girl
Your dreams await you
Stand up
I'll see you there
You called me this morning
Telling me about your little rendezvous
The thrill of freshness
Beautiful girl
You tell you want satisfaction
Is it the flesh or love
You are chasing after?
Beautiful girl
You shine in the neon lights
The face of an angel
Your body blessed by the devil
Beautiful girl
When you wake up in the morning
When neon lights are no longer
What do you find left over?
Beautiful girl
Look beside you
Look in the mirror
Do you see the face of a stranger?
Beautiful girl
Are you looking for something?
There's nothing there
Just emptiness
Beautiful girl
You have been through this
More than enough to know
You have never been beyond it
Beautiful girl
If it is satisfaction
You are after
Walk away
Beautiful girl,
If it is love
You are after
Look for it in the right places
Beautiful girl
Love yourself
You are worth more
Far more than any vulture
Beautiful girl
Your dreams await you
Stand up
I'll see you there
Lights. Music. Playground.
It's been a long time since I went clubbing and yesterday that's what I did after a show and certainly after a long time. It's good before I start to wonder if I have turned into a hermit.
When I was younger, it used to be 10pm-3am straight non stop dancing. You basically dance your way into the club and out of it when it closes. Ahhh the wonders of age shows when you realise you don't dance as vigorously as you used to, you don't dance as much and you leave before the club closes. You realise you prefer to chill out (is it plain laziness I wonder ha) with friends. I think i have pretty much gotten over the drinking phase, the crazy age. Not the I will stop, still gotta meet people but I think I am pretty much...over it.
Hold me, Thrill me, Kiss me but please don't kill me.
tu me manque
When I was younger, it used to be 10pm-3am straight non stop dancing. You basically dance your way into the club and out of it when it closes. Ahhh the wonders of age shows when you realise you don't dance as vigorously as you used to, you don't dance as much and you leave before the club closes. You realise you prefer to chill out (is it plain laziness I wonder ha) with friends. I think i have pretty much gotten over the drinking phase, the crazy age. Not the I will stop, still gotta meet people but I think I am pretty much...over it.
Hold me, Thrill me, Kiss me but please don't kill me.
tu me manque
Friday, December 09, 2005
Rambles and An All-Time Fav
I find myself dealing with more and more irresponsible people and lack of professionaliam recently. Extremely irritating. My favorite pair and only pair of dress heels broke today as I had no choice but to use it for a show..really sad. Ok enuff said.
I like this song for a long time..we call it a KTV friendly song ha
接受 - 梁静茹
仿佛想你一分钟
你还陪在我左右
还以为我们会
开花结果
我还记得玫瑰色天空
却模糊了我们的脸孔
很多的歌到底
是什么内容
仿佛已经自由
下一个我变成风
吹过你的脸孔
差点失控
回忆在愿里遗留的恨说
我想我可以明白你所有的痛
想让你知道我多
觉得心言不由衷
我们都接受
一定是彼此不够成熟
在爱情里分不了轻重
诚实的过了头
不能退后也无法向前走
爱是一个自私的念头
把寂寞消除的理由
剩下的那些人都
能记得多久
And to my gal friends..
分手快乐 - 梁静茹
我无法帮你预言
委曲求全有没有用
可是我多么不舍
朋友爱的那么苦痛
爱可以不问对错
至少有喜悦感动
如果他总为别人撑伞
你何苦非为他等在雨中
泡咖啡让你暖手
想挡挡你心口里的风
你却想上街走走
吹吹冷风会清醒的多
你说你不怕分手
只有一点遗憾难过
情人节就要来了
剩自己一个
其实爱对了人
情人节每天都过
分手快乐
祝你快乐
你可以找到更好的
不想过冬厌倦沉重
就飞去热带的岛屿游泳
分手快乐
请你快乐
挥别错的才能和对的相逢
离开旧爱
像坐慢车
看透彻了
心就会是晴朗的
没人能把谁的幸福没收
你发誓你会活的有笑容
你自信时候真的美多了
Fish always has such nice songs :)
I like this song for a long time..we call it a KTV friendly song ha
接受 - 梁静茹
仿佛想你一分钟
你还陪在我左右
还以为我们会
开花结果
我还记得玫瑰色天空
却模糊了我们的脸孔
很多的歌到底
是什么内容
仿佛已经自由
下一个我变成风
吹过你的脸孔
差点失控
回忆在愿里遗留的恨说
我想我可以明白你所有的痛
想让你知道我多
觉得心言不由衷
我们都接受
一定是彼此不够成熟
在爱情里分不了轻重
诚实的过了头
不能退后也无法向前走
爱是一个自私的念头
把寂寞消除的理由
剩下的那些人都
能记得多久
And to my gal friends..
分手快乐 - 梁静茹
我无法帮你预言
委曲求全有没有用
可是我多么不舍
朋友爱的那么苦痛
爱可以不问对错
至少有喜悦感动
如果他总为别人撑伞
你何苦非为他等在雨中
泡咖啡让你暖手
想挡挡你心口里的风
你却想上街走走
吹吹冷风会清醒的多
你说你不怕分手
只有一点遗憾难过
情人节就要来了
剩自己一个
其实爱对了人
情人节每天都过
分手快乐
祝你快乐
你可以找到更好的
不想过冬厌倦沉重
就飞去热带的岛屿游泳
分手快乐
请你快乐
挥别错的才能和对的相逢
离开旧爱
像坐慢车
看透彻了
心就会是晴朗的
没人能把谁的幸福没收
你发誓你会活的有笑容
你自信时候真的美多了
Fish always has such nice songs :)
Thursday, December 08, 2005
Why??
I am tired of coming home and feeling frustrated every other week.
I am tired of repeating myself and seeing no improvement.
I am tired of coming back everytime to see things accumulate to the point where one will be too lazy to clear.
I was hoping to feel peace and tranquility in coming home yet I feel like I live in a warehouse with a perpetual sense of unsettledness.
If things don't improve after this Sunday clean up, I think I might as well move back.
I am tired of repeating myself and seeing no improvement.
I am tired of coming back everytime to see things accumulate to the point where one will be too lazy to clear.
I was hoping to feel peace and tranquility in coming home yet I feel like I live in a warehouse with a perpetual sense of unsettledness.
If things don't improve after this Sunday clean up, I think I might as well move back.
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
天空。云。太阳。星星。
你的天空有多高，有多阔？
你的白天有多亮？
夜晚有多黑呢？
我带给你的阳光温暖吗？
它能否填补你天空里的冬天？
它曾为你带来笑容吗？
你相信阳光吗？
我带给你的星星是否闪烁？
它们有没有在你的夜晚里带来光芒？
星光的永恒，
你相信吗？
我想用最暖和的阳光
我想用最灿烂的星光
填满你无尽的天空
你相信吗？
太阳被乌云遮盖了
星星被月亮打败了
用它们最后的挣扎
你还看得到吗？
阳光依旧
星光没变
多少虚幻的乌云雷雨
你曾怀疑吗？
你的天空里是否空无一片
还是有了别的星系？
还是已经装不下了？
你是否快乐吗？
This poem is a huge metaphor...wonder if anyone understands *laughs*
你的白天有多亮？
夜晚有多黑呢？
我带给你的阳光温暖吗？
它能否填补你天空里的冬天？
它曾为你带来笑容吗？
你相信阳光吗？
我带给你的星星是否闪烁？
它们有没有在你的夜晚里带来光芒？
星光的永恒，
你相信吗？
我想用最暖和的阳光
我想用最灿烂的星光
填满你无尽的天空
你相信吗？
太阳被乌云遮盖了
星星被月亮打败了
用它们最后的挣扎
你还看得到吗？
阳光依旧
星光没变
多少虚幻的乌云雷雨
你曾怀疑吗？
你的天空里是否空无一片
还是有了别的星系？
还是已经装不下了？
你是否快乐吗？
This poem is a huge metaphor...wonder if anyone understands *laughs*
Blue December
It's happened again.
Last night, two girlfriends told me they broke up with their respective boyfriends. Man I seem to be hearing a lot of these recently. So much that it surprises me. I am sorry to hear that darlings...I hear the same things that I have written about in the last few posts..it's always the same things. The singles' club has new additions now. I hope life treats you babes better.
Ever heard a song by Elva Hsiao called "最熟悉的陌生人"? I think I understand that very well.
Just once..just once will be enough.
Last night, two girlfriends told me they broke up with their respective boyfriends. Man I seem to be hearing a lot of these recently. So much that it surprises me. I am sorry to hear that darlings...I hear the same things that I have written about in the last few posts..it's always the same things. The singles' club has new additions now. I hope life treats you babes better.
Ever heard a song by Elva Hsiao called "最熟悉的陌生人"? I think I understand that very well.
Just once..just once will be enough.
Type R.F.D Theory
OK HERE IT IS. THE QUESTION THAT’S BEEN ON MANY OF YOUR LIPS.
What in the world is TYPE R, TYPE F AND TYPE D???
Call it a stroke of genius or what but recently as I have been playing aunt agony, several terms accidentally sprouted out of my mouth that seemed to have created certain simplicity and understanding amongst those who heard them. I have deliberated about whether to actually write about my TYPE R.F.D theory because it may seem a little forward and hard to accept but my gals who have heard seem to like it enough to actually use it as lingo so here it is. Really simple actually.
I have in a way classified men in 3 categories for simplicity sake. They are
1) Type RELATIONSHIP-ABLE
2) Type F**K-ABLE (I don’t want censors to come knocking at my door but I am sure you know what I am talkin’ about )
3) Type DUMP-ABLE
Now now before the man start rising in arms and start charging at me..it’s a basic system for women with no offense meant. I like you guys all right? I have not turned into anti-men or something..just began to understand how men look at certain things with amazing, even ruthless simplicity and clarity. So whether you are male or female, if this is not your kinda thing, just take it as pleasure reading ok?
What is Type R?
This refers to the men you want to have a relationship with. Men who are looking for something real or have the potential. To these men, they are worth putting your heart out for. Thing is type R has to have type F qualities. Whoever thinks that the physical department is not important must be living in la-la land. Ask most for their honest opinion and they will tell you it’s important. To these men, I will give them more attention and offer sincerity because they are worth it. Not always easy to ascertain and not fool-proof. I have failed before. They are hard to spot as well not to mention sometimes it may well take time before they develop into this type or decide they want to be type R with YOU. I would generally think Type R consideration should come first before Type F but some of my gals actually think otherwise *laughs*
What is Type F?
Ah the name speaks for itself. Is the man F**kable? Now a type R man has to be type F too but a Type F man does not have to be Type R. Examples would include players, one-night stands type…you get the idea…basically men looking for fun. Some men are nice enough to tell you honestly they are looking for fun, some masquerade it under love and typically many bastards women know come under this category. For such men, if you guys come to a clear agreement, well have all the fun you want as long as no one gets hurt. Don’t bother about the deep stuff. There are of course those who graduate from type F to R.
What is Type D?
Well, if the person does not fall into the above two categories, it’s simply dumpable situation. I do not mean dump literally. It could mean you guys stay platonic and keep things friendly. There are some really worth dumping but I think most would be good to stay as friends.
So there you go, if a person is not Type R, is he at least Type F (you must be willing to have fun and just fun only too)? If not, well the answer is pretty clear. It must be clarified that the types can graduate both upwards and downwards…it’s purely for simplicity ..things change, so do people.
What in the world is TYPE R, TYPE F AND TYPE D???
Call it a stroke of genius or what but recently as I have been playing aunt agony, several terms accidentally sprouted out of my mouth that seemed to have created certain simplicity and understanding amongst those who heard them. I have deliberated about whether to actually write about my TYPE R.F.D theory because it may seem a little forward and hard to accept but my gals who have heard seem to like it enough to actually use it as lingo so here it is. Really simple actually.
I have in a way classified men in 3 categories for simplicity sake. They are
1) Type RELATIONSHIP-ABLE
2) Type F**K-ABLE (I don’t want censors to come knocking at my door but I am sure you know what I am talkin’ about )
3) Type DUMP-ABLE
Now now before the man start rising in arms and start charging at me..it’s a basic system for women with no offense meant. I like you guys all right? I have not turned into anti-men or something..just began to understand how men look at certain things with amazing, even ruthless simplicity and clarity. So whether you are male or female, if this is not your kinda thing, just take it as pleasure reading ok?
What is Type R?
This refers to the men you want to have a relationship with. Men who are looking for something real or have the potential. To these men, they are worth putting your heart out for. Thing is type R has to have type F qualities. Whoever thinks that the physical department is not important must be living in la-la land. Ask most for their honest opinion and they will tell you it’s important. To these men, I will give them more attention and offer sincerity because they are worth it. Not always easy to ascertain and not fool-proof. I have failed before. They are hard to spot as well not to mention sometimes it may well take time before they develop into this type or decide they want to be type R with YOU. I would generally think Type R consideration should come first before Type F but some of my gals actually think otherwise *laughs*
What is Type F?
Ah the name speaks for itself. Is the man F**kable? Now a type R man has to be type F too but a Type F man does not have to be Type R. Examples would include players, one-night stands type…you get the idea…basically men looking for fun. Some men are nice enough to tell you honestly they are looking for fun, some masquerade it under love and typically many bastards women know come under this category. For such men, if you guys come to a clear agreement, well have all the fun you want as long as no one gets hurt. Don’t bother about the deep stuff. There are of course those who graduate from type F to R.
What is Type D?
Well, if the person does not fall into the above two categories, it’s simply dumpable situation. I do not mean dump literally. It could mean you guys stay platonic and keep things friendly. There are some really worth dumping but I think most would be good to stay as friends.
So there you go, if a person is not Type R, is he at least Type F (you must be willing to have fun and just fun only too)? If not, well the answer is pretty clear. It must be clarified that the types can graduate both upwards and downwards…it’s purely for simplicity ..things change, so do people.
Celebration of Age
Here I am sitting at Marina Mandarin waiting to perform to a bunch of youngsters for their dinner and dance. Junior college kids my gosh…when was I that age?? It’s not that long ago actually but still far enough. Best part is the dance is quite sexy..oh gosh horrors of horrors!!
As I look at them, it reminds me a lot of the time I dressed up for prom. That was in secondary school..we went to make dresses and all!! Now looking at them, I began to realize why my mum said that when I am young, I won’t look nice in adult clothes. Please don’t mistake me..I am not saying they don’t look nice…in fact I saw a really hot babe ala retro 70s hot babe style with flowing curls, cut till low dress ooh la la . I must make disclaimer here..no matter what happened or what you guys said, I am not and not turning lesbian thank you. I still like men as a species versus women for a partner.
I began to have a greater teeny weeny appreciation for age. Perhaps I should say, womanliness that comes with age. Somehow though these girls may be slimmer and more youthful, somehow I still find the same dress will probably look more beautiful on a more erm should I say mature woman? Somehow there’s a missing feeling of life experience, womanliness that somehow makes the beauty incomplete. It’s really about carrying it off I guess.
As I hit my 20s, I began to feel that women are most attractive in their late 20s and early 30s, when they are independent, know what they want and won’t sit down to be trampled..generally. The sense of worldliness, womanliness is simply mysterious and beautiful, be it bigger hips, flabbier tummy and all. Mind you, there are women in that age that look even better physically than any woman in their early 20s.
So ladies, let’s celebrate our womanliness with every passing year…eye creams, moisturizers and all! :)
As I look at them, it reminds me a lot of the time I dressed up for prom. That was in secondary school..we went to make dresses and all!! Now looking at them, I began to realize why my mum said that when I am young, I won’t look nice in adult clothes. Please don’t mistake me..I am not saying they don’t look nice…in fact I saw a really hot babe ala retro 70s hot babe style with flowing curls, cut till low dress ooh la la . I must make disclaimer here..no matter what happened or what you guys said, I am not and not turning lesbian thank you. I still like men as a species versus women for a partner.
I began to have a greater teeny weeny appreciation for age. Perhaps I should say, womanliness that comes with age. Somehow though these girls may be slimmer and more youthful, somehow I still find the same dress will probably look more beautiful on a more erm should I say mature woman? Somehow there’s a missing feeling of life experience, womanliness that somehow makes the beauty incomplete. It’s really about carrying it off I guess.
As I hit my 20s, I began to feel that women are most attractive in their late 20s and early 30s, when they are independent, know what they want and won’t sit down to be trampled..generally. The sense of worldliness, womanliness is simply mysterious and beautiful, be it bigger hips, flabbier tummy and all. Mind you, there are women in that age that look even better physically than any woman in their early 20s.
So ladies, let’s celebrate our womanliness with every passing year…eye creams, moisturizers and all! :)
Monday, December 05, 2005
Milestones
I saw a touching entry in one of my friend's friend's blog...He was counting the milestones in his last relationship with dates, things she did, they did, things he felt but didn't tell her and all..I am afraid I don't have as much detailed records because I have bad memory with dates..I can remember all the events but dates I am bad..but I can remember 2 dates.
24 Apr 2005- The most unforgettable sms I have received in my life to date. I cried as I read it. It's pretty much the sms that made my mind up.
5 May 2005 - I was standing outside the bus stop at Delphi Orchard and it was drizzling. The sms of moment of decision.
My dears, it's much better for me to face it than to try not to..so trust me ok?
24 Apr 2005- The most unforgettable sms I have received in my life to date. I cried as I read it. It's pretty much the sms that made my mind up.
5 May 2005 - I was standing outside the bus stop at Delphi Orchard and it was drizzling. The sms of moment of decision.
My dears, it's much better for me to face it than to try not to..so trust me ok?
Sunday, December 04, 2005
Two Songs
Two songs I found from Kelly Clarkson..The first song is about how a mother's bad relationship went on to affect her daughter's emotional make-up..didn't quite like the tone of the song because it's a little like blaming someone else for your own life but I seem to hear this a lot in people when we start to fear and its got a nice tune so...
Because Of You
I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did,
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far
Because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you I am afraid I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake A smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with
Because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you I am afraid I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing
Because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you I tried my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you I am afraid
Because of you
Because of you
The second song just thought the lyrics were nice and the way the situation is portrayed metaphorically in the song..
I Hate Myself For Losing You - Kelly Clarkson
I woke up today
Woke up wide awake
In an empty bed
Staring at an empty room
I have myself to blame
For the state I'm in today
And now dying
Doesn't seem so cruel
And oh, I don't know what to say
And I don't know anyway
Anymore
I hate myself for losing you
I'm seeing it all so clear
I hate myself for losing you
What do you do when you look in the mirror
And staring at you is why he's not here?
You got what you deserved
Hope you're happy now
'Cause everytime I think of her with you
It's killing me Inside, and
Now I dread each day
Knowing that I can't be saved
From the loneliness
Of living without you
And, oh I don't know what to do
Not sure that I'll pull through
I wish you knew
I hate myself for losing you
I'm seeing it all so clear
I hate myself for losing you
What do you do when you look in the mirror
And staring at you is why he's not here?
I hate myself for losing you
And oh, I don't know what to do not sure that i'll pull through
I wish you knew
And oh, I don't know what to say
And I don't know anyway
Anymore
No, no I hate myself for losing you (I'm seeing it all so clear)
I'm seeing it all so clear
I hate myself for losing you
What do you do when you look in the mirror
And staring at you is why he's not here?
What do you say when everything's said?
Is the reason why he left you in the end?
How do you cry when every tear you shed
Won't ever bring him back again?
I hate myself for loving you
Because Of You
I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did,
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far
Because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you I am afraid I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake A smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with
Because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you I am afraid I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing
Because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you I tried my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you I am afraid
Because of you
Because of you
The second song just thought the lyrics were nice and the way the situation is portrayed metaphorically in the song..
I Hate Myself For Losing You - Kelly Clarkson
I woke up today
Woke up wide awake
In an empty bed
Staring at an empty room
I have myself to blame
For the state I'm in today
And now dying
Doesn't seem so cruel
And oh, I don't know what to say
And I don't know anyway
Anymore
I hate myself for losing you
I'm seeing it all so clear
I hate myself for losing you
What do you do when you look in the mirror
And staring at you is why he's not here?
You got what you deserved
Hope you're happy now
'Cause everytime I think of her with you
It's killing me Inside, and
Now I dread each day
Knowing that I can't be saved
From the loneliness
Of living without you
And, oh I don't know what to do
Not sure that I'll pull through
I wish you knew
I hate myself for losing you
I'm seeing it all so clear
I hate myself for losing you
What do you do when you look in the mirror
And staring at you is why he's not here?
I hate myself for losing you
And oh, I don't know what to do not sure that i'll pull through
I wish you knew
And oh, I don't know what to say
And I don't know anyway
Anymore
No, no I hate myself for losing you (I'm seeing it all so clear)
I'm seeing it all so clear
I hate myself for losing you
What do you do when you look in the mirror
And staring at you is why he's not here?
What do you say when everything's said?
Is the reason why he left you in the end?
How do you cry when every tear you shed
Won't ever bring him back again?
I hate myself for loving you
Of Love Lost and Closure
Today I had to do something that made me quite sad. I had to mediate for two people whom I care about immensely, at the cross junction of their relationship. Previous attempts to find a resolution had been unsuccessful so they needed to have a 3 way talk.
I think I would have wanted such a three way talk for myself too. In fact, it was supposed to happen but never did. Perhaps I would have wanted to save whatever could be saved and if it could not be saved, to find a peaceful closure. I think at some point, they didn't realise how valuable this talk was till I had to remind them what I would pay to have a chance like this. As of many relatioships that come to my attention, I realised there was always too much pride, too much assumption and too little love. There was too much YOU vs ME rather then YOU AND ME ie US. The arguments are always "Why couldn't you do this? Why did you do that?" instead of "We have an issue here. What can we do to help our relationship and make each other happy?"
There were always things that should have been said but not said, things that should have been done, not done and vice versa. The modern individual finds it hard to say sorry much less I love you. There was always too much attention on winning the fight, not the problem. There was always too much attention on fighting each other only to lose the thing that they were fighing to protect. There were always expectations not communicated, not managed and sometimes, not realistic in the first place. I find it very sad to know that two people who like each other cannot find a way to resolve their issues and find a way together. If two people can be together, try to the best they can. If the best is just not enough, saying goodbye will leave no regrets because you know all has been done but you are just not right for each other. For you two, I am glad you found peace.
It's always difficult when it comes to ourselves. These observations are clear as an observer and yet as a participant, we will always be guilty of one of the above. There may too much pride, too much assumption, too little courage, understanding and clarity...leading to countless misunderstandings and hurt. When hurt gets to a point beyond salvation, it becomes sad and painful to watch two people who like each other unable to put things aside and have to say goodbye. There comes a point you just know. It becomes a case of "Maybe we are just the right people who met at the wrong time." Things may not have needed to come to such a stage but that's the human fallacy.
On retrospect, I wonder how things got so thick and messed up. I wonder how we got from where we started to where we ended. How the things we believed in turned to complete opposites. Your surprise is as much as mine. Too much assumption, too little faith and too little courage. In our friend's words, we two are just "chicken shit".
I think I would have wanted such a three way talk for myself too. In fact, it was supposed to happen but never did. Perhaps I would have wanted to save whatever could be saved and if it could not be saved, to find a peaceful closure. I think at some point, they didn't realise how valuable this talk was till I had to remind them what I would pay to have a chance like this. As of many relatioships that come to my attention, I realised there was always too much pride, too much assumption and too little love. There was too much YOU vs ME rather then YOU AND ME ie US. The arguments are always "Why couldn't you do this? Why did you do that?" instead of "We have an issue here. What can we do to help our relationship and make each other happy?"
There were always things that should have been said but not said, things that should have been done, not done and vice versa. The modern individual finds it hard to say sorry much less I love you. There was always too much attention on winning the fight, not the problem. There was always too much attention on fighting each other only to lose the thing that they were fighing to protect. There were always expectations not communicated, not managed and sometimes, not realistic in the first place. I find it very sad to know that two people who like each other cannot find a way to resolve their issues and find a way together. If two people can be together, try to the best they can. If the best is just not enough, saying goodbye will leave no regrets because you know all has been done but you are just not right for each other. For you two, I am glad you found peace.
It's always difficult when it comes to ourselves. These observations are clear as an observer and yet as a participant, we will always be guilty of one of the above. There may too much pride, too much assumption, too little courage, understanding and clarity...leading to countless misunderstandings and hurt. When hurt gets to a point beyond salvation, it becomes sad and painful to watch two people who like each other unable to put things aside and have to say goodbye. There comes a point you just know. It becomes a case of "Maybe we are just the right people who met at the wrong time." Things may not have needed to come to such a stage but that's the human fallacy.
On retrospect, I wonder how things got so thick and messed up. I wonder how we got from where we started to where we ended. How the things we believed in turned to complete opposites. Your surprise is as much as mine. Too much assumption, too little faith and too little courage. In our friend's words, we two are just "chicken shit".
Friday, December 02, 2005
Of Rambles, Rumbles and Living For The Moment
Ok this is just to ramble..
I survived a overnight 200 point paper loss! Ended up profitable, wanted to hold more, didn't hold..or else profit a lot more :(
In case anyone is wondering, I am talking about futures trading. I took courses from this company and has stepped into the world of trading since. Learnt a lot about market observation, charts and so on in the process..made great friends..should have a look if you are looking for new sources of income..Man they should pay me ad fees!
My gal friend's grandpa passed away..they say that people sometimes wait for everyone they need to see to come back before passing on. Have heard of it from personal close friends that it happens...am not spending enough time with my family :( I think we have that rebellious stage where it's cool to defy your parents..but as I grew up, I started to cherish family more especially after I moved out. You never know what may happen tomorrow.
Speaking of you never know what may happen tomorrow..I have a nice story to share here. I heard it from a very inspriring woman, Miss Antonia Hui during a Power Women seminar the other day. Ya I am a Power Woman!! *laughs* There was a young man in Switzerland who had 26, had planned his whole life ahead of him. One day, he suddenly got involved in an accident and lost all his senses. All he had left was his hearing and his mind. He could not see, move, feel or touch. Everyone thought that was the end for him.
He however, refused to give up. He thought "I still have my brain left and I know I can still use it". Everyday, he played chess in his mind. One month later, he asked to play with his doctor who could also play chess. Guess what? He won.
He went on to become one of the top chess players in Switzerland. And if you think that was it, he went back to school to get a degree and it was very difficult as he could not see or write and in those days IT was not as advanced as today where you could use voice recognition software. But this did not stop him from becoming a nuclear scientist today. Now tell me, how many physically abled people you know make it as a nuclear scientist??
While I don't have exact words, in essence he said to her ..Don't just live for the past or the future. Live for the present. I had planned my life and we all plan our life. We look so far ahead or so far behind but you never know what may happen tomorrow. All my plans were changed by one unexpected event. Live for the moment.
He also added while this may seemed like an unfortnate incident, he thought this may well be a way to make him turn into his real destiny, what he was truly meant for, which he probably would not have done if that didn't happen.
Sometimes our presents come in thorns..it's not always easy to accept them but you may just never know. :)
Personal thought..The other day I suddenly remembered what a friend said that I hurt your feelings..I don't know if I have ever hurt you..if I did, I also don't know how I did because I cherish you. I don't know how I did it without being unfaithful, distrustful or demanding change of you..maybe I just didn't how to tell you.You said you never questioned, but if you ever wondered..there was never anyone else. If I hurt you by some way or other...I am sorry. There will be some who will say I am crazy to say this if they knew..but still, I am sorry.
I would sometimes wonder how you are but perhaps you do not wish me near you. I believe you must be well...I hope you are well..
I survived a overnight 200 point paper loss! Ended up profitable, wanted to hold more, didn't hold..or else profit a lot more :(
In case anyone is wondering, I am talking about futures trading. I took courses from this company and has stepped into the world of trading since. Learnt a lot about market observation, charts and so on in the process..made great friends..should have a look if you are looking for new sources of income..Man they should pay me ad fees!
My gal friend's grandpa passed away..they say that people sometimes wait for everyone they need to see to come back before passing on. Have heard of it from personal close friends that it happens...am not spending enough time with my family :( I think we have that rebellious stage where it's cool to defy your parents..but as I grew up, I started to cherish family more especially after I moved out. You never know what may happen tomorrow.
Speaking of you never know what may happen tomorrow..I have a nice story to share here. I heard it from a very inspriring woman, Miss Antonia Hui during a Power Women seminar the other day. Ya I am a Power Woman!! *laughs* There was a young man in Switzerland who had 26, had planned his whole life ahead of him. One day, he suddenly got involved in an accident and lost all his senses. All he had left was his hearing and his mind. He could not see, move, feel or touch. Everyone thought that was the end for him.
He however, refused to give up. He thought "I still have my brain left and I know I can still use it". Everyday, he played chess in his mind. One month later, he asked to play with his doctor who could also play chess. Guess what? He won.
He went on to become one of the top chess players in Switzerland. And if you think that was it, he went back to school to get a degree and it was very difficult as he could not see or write and in those days IT was not as advanced as today where you could use voice recognition software. But this did not stop him from becoming a nuclear scientist today. Now tell me, how many physically abled people you know make it as a nuclear scientist??
While I don't have exact words, in essence he said to her ..Don't just live for the past or the future. Live for the present. I had planned my life and we all plan our life. We look so far ahead or so far behind but you never know what may happen tomorrow. All my plans were changed by one unexpected event. Live for the moment.
He also added while this may seemed like an unfortnate incident, he thought this may well be a way to make him turn into his real destiny, what he was truly meant for, which he probably would not have done if that didn't happen.
Sometimes our presents come in thorns..it's not always easy to accept them but you may just never know. :)
Personal thought..The other day I suddenly remembered what a friend said that I hurt your feelings..I don't know if I have ever hurt you..if I did, I also don't know how I did because I cherish you. I don't know how I did it without being unfaithful, distrustful or demanding change of you..maybe I just didn't how to tell you.You said you never questioned, but if you ever wondered..there was never anyone else. If I hurt you by some way or other...I am sorry. There will be some who will say I am crazy to say this if they knew..but still, I am sorry.
I would sometimes wonder how you are but perhaps you do not wish me near you. I believe you must be well...I hope you are well..
Thursday, December 01, 2005
People in Love
I was talking to one of my gal friends today and she was telling me about her new love. Ahhhh new love...new love is always beautiful..they will always have lots of similarities, telepathy, you could lick honey off the moon if you wanted...babe I am really happy for you..truly am. Don't we all know this feeling? I know I do.
All I wanna say is take things slowly...one may think they have found a great relationship where everything's perfect..thinking, style, preferences, chemistry in all sense..and its probably true they have found a great relationship. It's so great that it's nearly unbelievable..I nearly fell off my chair a few times in the course of one I found.
"I am glad we found each other at this point of our lives."
Sweet isn't it?
That is true...it certainly feels the case and it certainly may well be the case... if the relationship is properly managed. I have come to appreciate this..words are just words, actions mean everything. While it may take some chemistry to reach this state of belief, I think maintaining this state of belief takes a little more work. A great relationship should flow naturally but it also takes a sense of realism and compromise. If properly managed, this statement could well be the start of something really wonderful. If the lovebirds are not careful, it could well be the most lethal poison. Knowing humans, we forget the things that we love about the person when we are upset. Will you still be able to remember and believe what made you feel glad about finding that person if you were upset? Many don't, because we are all human.
Am I cynical? Maybe. I certainly know how good it feels to find one like that. I just come to see that great relationships take more than just chemistry. It takes communication, compromise and understanding. This is because we are all individuals with differences. We will never be exactly the same and two people have to live, accept and love these differences. Great relationships don't happen because people wish for it to happen, they MAKE it happen.
To me, love is not just about the sparks. It is what happens AFTER the sparks. Oh please gimme lots of sparks especially in certain areas *chuckle* but I don't have that bubblegum pop idea of love anymore. If I was 16, I would but I am no longer anymore.
I keep coming across this problem in the relationships I have been in as well as observed. I can't say this enough, communication is not just about speaking your mind. To me, love really needs a lot of that. Perhaps more so for me because I don't expect my guy to be with me alot. Men, when will you understand that if you cannot be with your lady, just let her know? All she needs to know is that she matters to you and it's just that your purpose in life calls you away from her? I think most women will be willing to understand. We are FLEXIBLE people who can understand your priorities, If you can't give her time, then at the very least tell her what is going on. At least she would know how to manage the situation. How long can anyone live in a question mark?
Anyway back to you babe, I am happy for you. May that statement be always with you two. To find a relationship like that is very wonderful..to lose it is hell not to mention shocking..but let's not go there. May happiness and blessings be with you two always :)
All I wanna say is take things slowly...one may think they have found a great relationship where everything's perfect..thinking, style, preferences, chemistry in all sense..and its probably true they have found a great relationship. It's so great that it's nearly unbelievable..I nearly fell off my chair a few times in the course of one I found.
"I am glad we found each other at this point of our lives."
Sweet isn't it?
That is true...it certainly feels the case and it certainly may well be the case... if the relationship is properly managed. I have come to appreciate this..words are just words, actions mean everything. While it may take some chemistry to reach this state of belief, I think maintaining this state of belief takes a little more work. A great relationship should flow naturally but it also takes a sense of realism and compromise. If properly managed, this statement could well be the start of something really wonderful. If the lovebirds are not careful, it could well be the most lethal poison. Knowing humans, we forget the things that we love about the person when we are upset. Will you still be able to remember and believe what made you feel glad about finding that person if you were upset? Many don't, because we are all human.
Am I cynical? Maybe. I certainly know how good it feels to find one like that. I just come to see that great relationships take more than just chemistry. It takes communication, compromise and understanding. This is because we are all individuals with differences. We will never be exactly the same and two people have to live, accept and love these differences. Great relationships don't happen because people wish for it to happen, they MAKE it happen.
To me, love is not just about the sparks. It is what happens AFTER the sparks. Oh please gimme lots of sparks especially in certain areas *chuckle* but I don't have that bubblegum pop idea of love anymore. If I was 16, I would but I am no longer anymore.
I keep coming across this problem in the relationships I have been in as well as observed. I can't say this enough, communication is not just about speaking your mind. To me, love really needs a lot of that. Perhaps more so for me because I don't expect my guy to be with me alot. Men, when will you understand that if you cannot be with your lady, just let her know? All she needs to know is that she matters to you and it's just that your purpose in life calls you away from her? I think most women will be willing to understand. We are FLEXIBLE people who can understand your priorities, If you can't give her time, then at the very least tell her what is going on. At least she would know how to manage the situation. How long can anyone live in a question mark?
Anyway back to you babe, I am happy for you. May that statement be always with you two. To find a relationship like that is very wonderful..to lose it is hell not to mention shocking..but let's not go there. May happiness and blessings be with you two always :)
Male Bastardology
My friend had an interesting conversation with her male friend regarding the universal favourite phrase of women - "All Men are Bastards". It's really funny...read it here.
All men are bastards. Do I agree?
I think I have seen a couple of bastards..been with them, seen them with my friends and I come to this conclusion. There are no good or bad guys...just good or bad timing. A guy likes you or wants to settle down, he will be good..or at least better. If not, he will be a bastard. A friend said "Don't bother to show mercy to a guy cos he won't show mercy when he leaves". If he's a bastard, the sad truth is...he probably didn't love you or he simply didn't like you enough. Sorry ladies, I know it's painful to know, but it is.
The strange thing is sometimes if the man is a bastard, the effect left on the woman is far deeper than normal. Some say women like to be trampled on, like bad boys etc. I think it's a combination of reasons. Humans want things they cannot have, love whom they cannot love. The pain left behind by a bastard lasts for a long time. If you can't forget, it simply means you will remember.
The sad thing is..women usually love these bastards and while the world may be happy proclaiming he's a bastard, to presumably close the episode and lessen her pain, a part of her may agree but a part of her also knows it doesn't mean she loves him any less. I long given up on using "he's a bastard" as a form of comfort. How comforting can it be to hear that the man you love is a bastard and you are stupid enough to fall for it and still love him? Many women may protest to this, but ladies, spend time in your solitude and ask yourself if this is not the truth?
We may say the woman is dumb...but how do you bring yourself to blame a woman when she puts her heart and soul into it and you watch her fall apart for loving someone? I always believed, you cannot fault a true heart or a sincere heart. I paid a price for this belief but I still believe it.
Women are capable of doing the same thing men do. The difference is women tend to try a little harder...save the relationship, not break the guy's heart etc. There are of course true blue bitches but you know..i notice it's usually because they have been greatly disappointed and thus shaped, by bastards previously. The product of disillusionment I call it. Ask a little more and you'll usually find it.
So back to the question...all men are bastards?
Yes...if you are not The One.
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