Eve Notebook - The Kite Runner

I am truly blessed this year to have received wonderful gifts of great books from friends this year. The latest gift I received, The Kite Runner, had been on my mind and fate would have it to bring this book to me from a friend who didn't know.

The author, Khaled Hosseini, was born in Afghanistan thus you can trust that a lot of the things you read about in this story is probably as raw and true as it can get.

This overview was taken off Bloomsbury's website:

"Unfolding against Afghanistan’s destructive history, from the fall of the monarchy to the oppression of the Northern Alliance and the advent of the Taliban, The Kite Runner is a story of fathers and sons, friendship and betrayal, and the casualties of fate.

At the heart is Amir, whose childhood betrayal of his closest friend alters the course of his life until he discovers that ‘there is a way to be good again’. "

Frankly, I think this description does the story no justice. You have to read it for yourself to see how richly the author has told this story. It is a story about family, kinship, brotherhood, friendship, honor, righteousness, forgiveness and perhaps above all, redemption. It is amazing how the author brings you through all these themes without imposing them on you.

I love how the author introduces elements which allow the reader to peek into what a peaceful Afghanistan might have been. I love how those seemingly irrelevant and unimportant details tell so much about each of the characters and eventually bring you into the whirlpool of the story. The story starts so simply, brings you through an unsuspecting ride to finally finish off with an ending that makes you come all round and say "wow". I felt shivers of joy at the ending.

This story will move, provoke and shake you.

Now I can't wait for the film!

About The Kite Runner at Bloomsbury site:
http://www.bloomsbury.com/Authors/microsite.asp?id=480&section=1&aid=1763

The Author's website:
http://www.khaledhosseini.com/

Movie Trailer:
http://www.bloomsbury.com/flashvideos/video.asp?vid_id=kiterunner.flv&vid_sz=5

End of Yet Another Year

Ah it has come to the time of the year where I sum up the year that is going to pass. If you care enough to read, thank you :)

There was once upon a point in my life where love was all important, where weekends were best spent partying and where dressing was more flamboyant.

Today, I prefer to spend time at home or with friends in cosy settings. I drink little if not none at all. My ideal gift (other than money haha) would be good books or CDs because they help me in writing. I prefer laid back and casual. I don't try hard to impress. Yeah maybe I am not a social animal but at least you know I am being sincere. Socialistic hypocrisy ain't my thing.

Overall, I would say this is a better year than 2006. There are many things for me to feel happy about. As I wave goodbye to the year that gave me a really cool birthday date on 20.07.2007, these are the things that made my year:

1) Writing

I really can't possibly dismiss how important this discovery has been to me. You probably know by now that I love writing and there have been people who have encouraged me to pursue writing more.

It is by pure accident that I started writing fiction. I really have to thank DBSK for that, for giving me inspiration, Hei Bi who started me on fanfics and the many readers who have accompanied me along the way. Without that, I would not have started writing on a whim of fancy to discover how much I enjoy and how this may turn out to be a serious calling for me.

Writing gave me reprieve and brought me joy, not to mention the many friends that I have since known. They come from all over the world - Canada, France, Venezuela, Korea and so on. Never mind that we have never met, their heartfelt words and encouragement have touched my heart greatly. To these many strangers and a handful of real life friends who have shown their support for my work, read, commented and regularly stayed updated - they have made this path so much less lonely.

If you are one of them, thank you. I can't even begin to tell you how much I appreciate the support because it is simply such an important part of my life now. For being part of this important part, thank you.

2) Yoga

I have been wanting to do Yoga for the longest time. I held it off until I finally decided to try to improve my flexibility. It turned out to be one of the most important fitness discoveries I will ever find. I was so impressed that I even cancelled my gym membership and signed up for a yoga membership instead.

In yoga I found peace. I also believe it to be responsible for improvements in my flexibility, patience, health and energy levels. I didn't believe it until I tried it and like they say, I have never looked back. I always look forward to Yoga every week now.

3) Happiness

I remember once writing about happiness and the pursue for happiness. We often find happiness in other things but at some point I started to wonder about the possibility of pure happiness - happiness that does not result from owning something, but exists just because one is purely happy.

I can't say that I have found it. But I can say maybe I experienced a little of what it may feel like.

For a long time, I could not bring myself to say I am happy. I had too much to be unhappy about. Thus, you can imagine my surprise and joy when I recently started saying to people that "I am generally happy with my life."

Folks, I have not achieved financial independence and some woes continue to plague me. My health is not at its best even if it has recovered so much. I am not at my slimmest and neither has my skin finally reached my dream porcelain state. Like many others, I have many things I still want or want more of.

Yet, I can surprisingly bring myself to say I am happy. Happy to be on my own, happy that I don't need another person to feel complete, happy that I have friends, happy that I have a roof over my head and just so many mundane things - but to sum it up, it isn't so bad. I am sure discovering writing has a big part of play but still...

If you wanna know how much this means to me, try telling another person that you are happy. There are not that many people I know who are capable of seriously saying that. If you can, I truly from the bottom of my heart, congratulate you.

4) Sotong family

Oh yes, we shriek and shrill over the silliest things but I have found true friends in sotong family. They have made this year so much more fun and I am truly thankful for their friendship.

5) Connecting with friends

I must say I have connected more with some friends whom I really should have connected more with. For that, I am thankful.

Now, for the wishes for the new year ahead...

1) I hope to met good clients, hit my targets and for the studio to do well = more money heh heh
2) I hope to keep writing and to polish my writing to make it good enough to publish or film.
3) I hopw my writing project comes through and it gets published.
4) I hope to stay in good health and good shape (yes, vain).
5) I hope to be even better at saving money (hey I made improvements this year).
6) I hope to improve in Korean and visit Korea this year.
7) I hope to connect more with my family and people that matter.
8) I hope to meet Leader-shi kekekeke

The list goes on...I will try to add on :)

And as always, Thank you to God and all the nice people I have met who have made life wonderful for me this year.

Eve Notebook - Bangkok Dec 2007

I just went to Bangkok last weekend for five absolutely hot guys.

No, not a dirty weekend. Sorry to disappoint you.

They are...

Dong Bang Shin Ki, The Rising Gods of The East

Ok I shall not try to digress from the objective of this post which is to talk about Bangkok.

Bangkok traffic is still bad as ever. A bad jam can drag out what may be an hour trip to two. I stayed at Dusit Thani hotel which was situated just outside Silom train station. It's proximity to the Sala Daeng BTS station also made it convenient to get around.

Being a major hotel, Dusit Thani came with the full works: pool (a tad too small), gym (which was very impressive by the way), restaurants and spa. The rooms were nicely furnished though there wasn't much of a view frankly. The service was pretty helpful though I really would have expected their frontline staff to have a stronger command of English.

I didn't get to shop much or walk around much this time but I did find a very nice little joint a few minutes away from the hotel.

Unfortunately, I was down with possible infection of the intestines just before the trip. Thus, I had to avoid overly strong food during the trip. Thus, you can imagine my joy when I found Wai Thai.

Using a modern open kitchen concept along with cool jazz music in the air, Wai Thai was cool and clean. Claiming to serve healthy Thai food made with fresh ingredients and no oil, no salt, no sugar and no MSG added, I must say I was curious. Is it even possible?

Apparently it is.

My mushroom noodle soup came looking very decent. So it looks good, but does it taste good?

I must say I was suitably impressed with the taste. The dark soup was sweet with a tinge of mushroom. The vegetables were fresh and the mushrooms were succulent. The noodle was cooked to yummy softness. If they had managed to achieve such a taste without adding all that, I must say I have to be impressed. Even my drink of Carrot with Ginger was refreshing with just enough of ginger to not kill the drink.

I liked it so much that I went back for a second visit with my friend and she also found favor in the joint for its cool and cosy interiors along with healthy Thai food. The only thing I thought strange was that Paad Thai is cooked differently in Bangkok compared to here. The Paad Thai is actually sweet there compared to the salty ones here.

In terms of shopping, I went to MBK and nearby where I found a lot of cool t-shirts going for less than $10. Yes no prizes for guessing what I bought. Of course you do get people trying to get you into one of the sleazy joints where the ladies (maybe men too) with heavenlly bodies in bikinis will make you regret your sumptuous dinner, but hey it's all part of the charm.

I sure hope to see more of Bangkok next time :)

Eve Notebook - Pret A Manger

I found this place call Pret A Manger along busy Shenton Way by accident and may I say it was a wondrous discovery indeed.

All too often we have frozen food, MSG, too much salt or additives in our food when we eat out but the food served at Pret are made fresh daily with good health in mind. This is not to say they compromise in taste. Indeed, the light and tasty fare at Pret is a refreshing breeze compared to the much heavier food found in its neighbours.

The menu ranges from soup to salads, wraps and sandwiches. The ingredients are always fresh and the combinations are lovely. The price is a little higher than hawker fare but honestly I don't mind it for the freshness and how light it is on the waistline.

What keeps me going back again and again is one particular item that has caught my heart and stomach. It comes in a little pot like this:


THE Raspberry Granola Pret Pot

Hidden in this little pot is a little serving of light yoghurt (little because I really can possibly eat two of it) along with raspberry and granola. Do get the ones with granola in them. It just makes the taste so much richer. The light sour of yoghurt sweetened by fresh raspberry compote and natural granola....ahhhh what can I say....absolutely heavenly~~

The best part is they have inhouse wireless internet and and lovely music played all day. You can sit there and read or do work because it is not too noisy for most of the day except lunchtime. Cool ambience, healthy and nice food and friendly service...honestly what more can one ask for in busy Shenton Way?

短发

短发

不需要长发的抚魅
不需要过去的影子


放开

三千丝沉重的记忆
为过去的篇章划号一句

剪去

换取自由的轻盈
踏上天边无限的彩云

找到

全新而熟悉的自己
一个适合现在的自己

Way to Go Epik High!

I love this performance of tradition meets new world pop...awesome!

Fan
Epik High
Golden Disk Awards

Tears For A Stranger

Today I was watching a funny video and I laughed till I saw the end "By Kayem7289".

I never knew.

I must have watched so many videos by her and laughed to it, not knowing it was her work. I must have read so many of her posts and saved so many of the pics she gave without knowing.

I never knew her and yet I felt like I saw so much of her around and how she continues to leave all these pieces of her behind.

This is a tribute made by Kay's sister, containing the excerpts of the words she wrote 2 days before she died.




Kay's Last Letter

-November 30, 2007! Woot!

Well, hey girls. If this entry is being read at this moment, then that means that fate has finally gotten to me. (It's about time, fate! *Shakes fist angrily at sky* LOL)I am writing this last entry today because I am not feeling too well at the moment, and yes, I know, we all get a little sick once in a while, but I just feel...Different this time. It sounds a little pessimistic, but I know, know, know that my time is coming, and any day now...I will back in my appa's arms, catching up on nearly nine lost years.

It's been 8 days since I said goodbye to the cyberworld, but this time, I'm saying farewell and good luck to everyone here in the real world. Or in other words, you earthlings xD! Sounds like an alien, huh? Just remember that this is Earth that we are talking about, our first life, our hardest life, and that the best is in store. Technically it's already December 1st because it's 2:04 am right now and I see the snow falling from the sky, and it makes me feel all jittery all of a sudden. I don't really like to play in the snow, but seeing the land covered in bright white, makes such an ugly world, look so beautiful and calm. It makes me forget about all the sadness and pain out there, just for a second as I gaze into the purified world. However, just like life, the beauty is only temporary, and before you know it, spring comes and new flowers bloom. What does this tell us? Life that seems like it has ended, is still there, just sleeping and waiting for the right time to reappear. I might not be here physically, but my thoughts, my wishes, my abandoned hopes; all still linger here, waiting to be fulfilled.

I dreamt of becoming a mother, a wife, an employee for a big company (lol), and even though none of them were probable, I still lived a wonderful, beautiful life. Who says fairy tales always have a happy ending? Who said beautiful movies or stories always had to end the way everyone wanted it to? The beauty of life is that it is mysterious, it's unfair, it gives us exactly what we don't want! It is all of a matter of how you look at it. Are you going to cry and sulk about how life is treating you unfairly, or live it to the fullest and rub it all in life's face [if he/she had one, that is].

"Hey, life! You're being an bubble gum, but I'm still happy! HAH!"
There's a greater prize waiting for us, but you'll have to earn it.

Please be kind to my sister, Cindy. She is just a 15 year old gal, trying to live a normal life, and is probably an emotional wreck by now.

I know that I always rely on her to bring the bad news, but remember, she's just my messenger, don't harass her for anything...Or bring up perverted thoughts! *Stares at perverted girls at the corner* Oh Cindy, my little naive dongsaeng, unnie is going to miss calling you every week...But try to stay strong and just remember that I'll always be your awesome unnie lol. I know that all the times we've seen each other recently, have been rather sullen, but the next time you see me, I'll be healthy! No more tubes connected to by nose, no needles in my arms and no wheelchair! I'll be that unnie you grew up knowing, the one who was never afraid of anything, the one who told you to live your life on the wild side! This goes out to everyone as well. Anticipate our next meeting, neh?

I'm so sorry, girls! I know that I am supposed to come back in ten days, but I guess I was dreaming too far ahead.

I really wanted to make it through one more Christmas, to spend with you all, and to make New Year's resolutions as well.

I guess I'll never have the chance to indulge in chocolates during Valentine's Day, or chug one or two beers for St. Patrick's Day, but at least all my wonderful girls still have that opportunity. Celebrate on my behalf, leave a cup of soda for me, buy me a box of chocolates lol, or maybe not...Your parents might get a bit weirded out about it all.

"I see dead people." OMO!

You know what I mean though...Don't take all these little things for granted, or you'll regret it when you get in my shoes one day. "I wish I would've eaten more on Thanksgiving last year," or "I really should've bought my mom that gift she wanted for Christmas." I beg of you, girls, please, life is not a game where you can just go move by move hoping for the best. You must think everything through and through, make all your decisions count!

No tears! You guys are lucky I wasn't able to bash all your heads in with my plank lol. I don't want to see all those tears when I'm gone, just think about all those great times we've had.

As long as you don't erase me, or my existence, I'll always be alive.Keep living, keep dreaming, keep wishing, keep hoping, keep breathing and keep waiting...For me.

Before you know it, we'll be having conversations again like nothing ever even changed. I'll be waiting for you guys up there, don't keep me waiting too long, okay?

Holy crap this is long! My last message and it's so asdjklasdf long lol, sorry if I bored you to death!

Peace out homes! Lol, I'm a gangster now, apparently.*Blows everyone kisses*

<3>



This part really got me crying...

"Life that seems like it has ended is still there, just sleeping and waiting for the right time to reappear. I might not be here physically, but my thoughts, my wishes, my abandoned hopes; all still linger here, waiting to be fulfilled."

I cannot begin to imagine the dreams that the 18 year old Kyung Min had...all abandoned.

People, life is really too precious to be lived in any way that is less than the most we can and want to be, in any way that is less happy than what it deserves...

May your days be lived to the maximum of your dreams and hopes.

Goodbye Kayem7289

Cancer has taken another young girl's life.

Some of you may remember me writing about a girl who died of cancer sometime back. Now, another girl from soompi has also passed away from cancer.

It's so sudden isn't it?

I didn't know her at all but I have seen her nick so many times on one of the threads I frequent. I remember her nick, her posts and the long farewell she wrote when she decided to leave the forum due to all that was going on in her life.

She's only 18 this year.

I would like to share some excerpts from one of the last posts she wrote and I hope it will give you some perspective from someone who truly was on life's border. If you are her family and wish me to remove this, please let me know. I will gladly do so.

"Last year on August 18, I was diagnosed with Ewing's Sarcoma after going to the hospital for a bruised hip. If you don't know what Ewing's Sarcoma is, it is a form of bone cancer that usually occurs in males more than females. For every five males diagnosed with this illness, one female is affected, and I was that lucky candidate. Which gives me the urge to find the five guys before me and give them a good shaking lol. What happens to the bones is that a chromosome moves out of place and into the wrong...Well, DNA strand. Which is why it's more common in males, when they go through the growth spurt, it forces the bones to adapt and change too rapidly, causing the [already corrupt] chromosomes to go out of whack even more. I grew from 5'2 in freshmen year to 5'8 in junior year, and I also went through a dramatic weight loss, so if there were any contributions to my illness, the blame is all on me and my body. Actually, information about this cancer is still limited so any information I give out, is what I've either been told by a doctor or researched.

The survival rate for bone cancer is usually moderately high, ranging from the 50-70's, UNLESS the cancer metastasizes (spreads), and then your chances of survival dramatically dive...Which is what happened exactly in my case. When I first was diagnosed, I was a stage two patient and the cells were stabilized in my right leg and hip...However, after my last checkup in September, I became a stage four patient (stage five means you are literally on the deathbed waiting for Death's call) because the cells had metastasized into my lungs, pancreas and liver (although I was told that I was getting better). Once you become a stage four patient, there is not much more the doctors or medical staff can do anymore to improve your condition, literally, they can't do anything for you anymore except attempt to perform surgery or intense chemo/radiotherapy (which would still provide just a placebo effect). Like I mentioned above, people diagnosed with bone cancer usually live for years and years because of the high survival rate, until you get to my case...I have approximately six months to live and a 34% of living my life to the fullest.. So right now, I'm in the acceptance stage; I've accepted what is already coming and have fully prepared myself for what is to inevitably come. Now, it's time to fulfill lost dreams and say all that I have left to say so that I can leave peacefully with no regrets. My dad died of cancer when I was nine as well, so I will probably succumb the same way he did. However, I am not angry about dying, in fact, I am looking forward to it [mildly] just because I will be able to be with him again.

I also know that some people must be wondering where I have been for the past week or so, on my so-called trip lol. Well, first and foremost, I apologize about deceiving you all about saying that I was going on a trip when in fact I wasn't. It was actually my first operation, to remove benign tumors from my pancreas and liver, as well as getting a part of my hip replaced. I KNEW it was not going to improve my health at all, but it was for my mom. I knew that undergoing the surgery would at least re-assure her that I was trying harder, so I did it for her. My mom, how I will miss her so much. Her cooking, her crazy stories, her love...I'm just glad that when I pass, such a burden will be lifted off her shoulders and she can live peacefully with my siblings. I am so proud of my mother, having to go through TWO loves of her life dying of cancer and still striving for the best in life. "

"What I've Learned:

Take what you can, and leave what you can't. Seriously, that saying is just...Too true. I've tried as hard as I could to be nice to everyone, as well as being on good terms with whomever I met, but I guess the world just doesn't work that way. You win some, and you lose some. I spent SIX months trying to befriend a member here at Soompi, showering her with replies and compliments, only to discover that she had been talking mini cooper about me all this time. Not only that, to her friends as well. Which brought in new insight: it's THEIR loss, not mine. Why would I want to be friends with someone who talks crap about other people anyway, and without justifiable reasons at that? She knows EXACTLY who she is, so no need to bring up names, but all I know is that I tried, and when someone dislikes you for no apparent reason, then there's nothing else you can do about it...Except, move on. She and her little friends can say crap about me all they want because well, I'm not going to let the comments of such 'high-class' ladies effect me ('monkey-faced', seriously, that's the best you could come up with?). I was pissed at first, but now...I could care less, in fact, I encourage more trash talk, it's entertaining when strangers hate you!

Just be yourself and say whatever the hell you want, well...At least in a tasteful manner. I make no apologies for any of my "essays" because I honestly don't feel like they were offensive enough to have to redeem myself for. In fact, I'd rank them as controversial, but hardly offensive in any way, shape or form. I DO, however, apologize for the times when I deliberately tried to argue with people just so I could gain an ego boost. If you didn't like what I wrote to begin with, why do you bother reading my works anyway? Ever heard of the ignore list or skipping a certain post? Also, I firmly believe I wrote everything as tastefully as possible, so I feel no guilt for what I wrote. Take it or leave it, simple as that.I've also learned that there are more good people out there, than bad. I may have stumbled across a few nasty girls here and there, but overall, people are generally more warm than critical and condescending. It seems the good are usually overlooked because of just a few people, but when you are in my shoes and have no time to analyze what is what, you take what you can and cherish it. If people are going to respect me, I will reciprocate, and if people choose to be negative, then it's better to just move on. It's always better to assume the best in people whether first impressions result in hat judgment or not.

Finally, the last, extremely cliche saying...Live life to the fullest like there is no tomorrow. You don't really fully take that line into consideration until something so drastic forces you to change. I believe we all still take life for granted and don't strive for the best, well...This is KAY speaking from the heart, please do not take your life for granted because it is a precious gift that you should cherish and hold on to for as long as you can. Life, for me, is trying to escape from the world and I am hanging on to it by a thread...I don't know how much longer this thread can hold or support my will to keep living on until I grow old and gray, but I WILL make it work to my best ability...I hope that you will, too, no matter what situation you are in."

May your soul rest in peace, Moon Kyung Min otherwise known as kayem7289.

Once Loved

Everyone in love hopes for love to last but sometimes it doesn't. When that happens, it is often not the fact that love ends that hurts. It's when love doesn't end properly that it hurts.

There were 2 men in my life that I never found peace with. I was fortunate to find one of them after a long time and it really made me feel happy to be chatting with him once again. Perhaps that was what led me to contact another past love again.

I had met this past love a few times. We had chatted normally and all but I felt something about this meeting was different.

We finally managed to talk about the past.

You know you have found peace with each other when you can actually talk about the past with no hard feelings. Strangely enough, I have been fortunate to have ex-es apologise whenever we reached tha stage. They would say sorry for having been mean to me. The best part is, most of the time, I don't remember the things they apologise for.

Isn't that a good thing?

After all, if you have once loved that person, why would you want to hold on to the bad memories? Love is beautiful and if that is the case, then I would rather remember love and the people I have loved to be beautiful. Isn't it painful to know that when you see a person you once loved, you can't face him, talk to him or even say hi?

Frankly, I would prefer to be rid of all the baggage while I am still single and clear-minded...start the next love (if any) anew. Given the nasty circumstances the last one ended, I am not sure if we will ever be able to make peace.

So now it's one down and one more to go. It's okay, I will wait.

Will You Marry Me?

Before you start picking up your phones excitedly to call me, I am not getting married. *laughs*

I was watching this commercial of the brilliant rose diamond which I thought summed up what made marriage such a dreamy concept to women. The commercial went something like "There's only one thing he needs to win her heart...Forever." The lines were of course accompanied by visions of a man proposing to a woman who happily accepts the ring...BIG diamond ring may I add.

Yes women want stability and all in a marriage but if you were to strip it all down to the basics, women want the promise of forever, the promise that her man will love her forever, be with her forever and cherish her forever. Forever is a concept too romantic for most women to resist.

I also watched another program which brings me to another section of marriage. The program was called "I Propose", in which a man will show the world how he will plan and propose to his girl.

Now, a common question that will pop up after one announces one's marriage plans would be "So how did he propose?!"

Men, do not underestimate the importance of this event. It is equally as important as the ring, the wedding and the dress. Why is it so?

There's a princess in every woman who lives through her in different ways. It could be the clothes she wears, the jewellery she adores, simple mannerisms who personify the princess within. The epitome of that would naturally be that perfect wedding dress in that perfect wedding with that perfect prince or knight in shining armor and of course, the perfect proposal.

When I saw how the girl totally melted at the sight of her man getting on his knees to ask for her hand, I understood the meaning of the event.

The truth is even in this age of independence, most women have a submissive role to their men in one way or another before and after marriage. Yet it is during proposal that for once, the men do the unthinkable and get on their knees *gasp*, just for you! There is something very romantic about a man willing to put aside his pride and kneel for you while asking you to spend forever (hopefully) with him. It symbolises a man's desire to cherish her as his queen. This can only happen once in a lifetime (with the same man at least) and it is often a memory that still makes any woman blush at any age.

I recently saw a video of a friend's friend's brother who stopped traffic in orchard road, got down on his knees and proposed to his girlfriend. Crazy? Yes. But it's definitely something that she will be able to talk about for the rest of her life.

Guys, you don't have to stop traffic in Orchard Road to make it special for her. Make her feel cherished and important...I think that should do the trick :)

Harudal

New MV for Midnight City :)

Love From The Air

These are some of the things that have made my day recently...

"ps, hey i'm serious when i say you can write a book!! i don't know about publishers but if you post certain outstanding chapters to the newspaper and they get printed, someone might notice them and assist you towards publishing!! you just gotta get your stuff together thanks for the pm!! "


"i was snooping around the fanfic thread, looking for something to read because i was procrostinating....and i got hooked by your trailer---that trailer is definitely working in publicizing your awesome fic.i started reading... and wow. i'm taken by the characters,,the way you explore the human nature, the light and dark of personality that each person has.it is such a beautiful study of people. of raw life and dark depths of human relationships and human condition."


"Another amazing chapter, and those ppl are right...you should publish your work, especially this one, I'd definitely buy it =]"


I have never met these people but I definitely felt a lot of love there! I will be working on writing better and praying that a good opportunity comes along!

Thank you, my dear readers :)

Self-everything

Eve has to apologise. She has been spending so much of her writing brain cells on fiction writing that she has not written that many thoughtful entries here.

Recently Eve talked to a couple of friends and found a few things recurring.

Eve has always felt people don't love themselves as much as they should. Perhaps it is due to the fact that we are bred in a culture which respects humility. Self-love may thus be mistaken for an ego trip.

Of course there are such ego trips. Yet, sometimes Eve wonders if we have forgotten to draw the line?

Eve knows many very wonderful women who subject themselves to lousy relationships all in the name of martyrdom for love. Yes it is all very noble. But happy? It is almost like we wear our scars as badges of honor. Why do we think it is okay to be in a relationship that hurts or will hurt? Why do we allow ourselves to live in situations of less than what we may truly deserve? Why do we allow ourselves to accept anything less than what should make us happy?

In Korea, plastic surgery is widely accepted. Eve cannot totally comprehend this. Yes we all love to look good but except in extreme cases, Eve believes in cherishing what God has given you.

Unrelated? Eve begs to differ.

Eve believes it all comes down to a matter of self-perception, self esteem and self-love.

A woman who finds it hard to leave a harmful relationship may have a few reasons. Amongst them is the common "Will I find someone like him again?" even if she is not happy. Yet, if you look deep enough, you will likely find a voice that says "I don't think I can do better. This is as good as what I deserve to get."

Hard to believe? Think again.

Let's turn the tables around. Assume there is someone you really love in this world, be it a sibling, a friend or a partner. Would you want the best for that person? Probably yes. If you saw that person in a nasty situation, would you want him or her to get out of it? Probably yes.

If that is the case, why is it so hard to do so for ourselves? Do we not deserve anything more than true love for ourselves too? And how can one claim to love another or even know what love is if one cannot even learn to love oneself?

We live in a culture where we are made to believe that beauty is equivalent to porcelain skin, an impossibly slim figure, perfect hair and so on. Why do we (including Eve herself) continue to spend so much money on physical enhancements? Social etiquette aside, Eve sees this as an instance where insecurity is at work. The root of such behavior goes deep into an underlying insecurity and fear of not being accepted, not being enough. Eve finds it hard to embrace a culture where people focus so much on achieving perfection that people forget to work on growing the person within.

Talk about perfection.

From young, I am sure everyone has an ideal image of what we hope ourselves to be. As we grow up, that becomes the road map that guides us. Yet all too often, Eve realises that life often has plans of its own, choosing to take the person in another path. That path may well contradict what the person had originally planned. In fact, he or she may find that he or she had changed into the person he or she despised. The result? We blame ourselves and bash ourselves up thinking "Why did I do that?", "What kind of a person have I become?" and "I hate myself."

Eve is not saying we should not keep ourselves in check. We should!

However, there are times whereby one has to realise there may be a difference between what one wants and what one is able to have. The same goes for the person we wanna be versus the person we really are. Sometimes, maybe all we need is to accept that person and life will open its doors in miraculous ways that would not have happened if one had not allowed it to happen.

All we need is love...not for just other people, but ourselves too.

The Locket

The Locket

I wear my precious locket on my chest
The symbol of all that is me
The centre of existence
The giver of life

I wear my precious locket on my sleeve
Too pretty to hide
Yet too precious to give away
Waiting for the right piece

I wear my precious locket deep within
Too perfect to not be complete
Yet too fragile for all the world to see
Behind high walls is where it sits

Mar my locket not with frivolity
Unless it is frivolity my locket seeks
Seek not when it seeks not to seek
Only the right piece


A sudden burst of insipration led to writing this :)

Midnight City

New! First trailer for my current story :)

Tag Fic Trailer

I started a tag fic on soompi recently where one author will write one chapter of the story...so nobody knows how it will turn out :P

So far it's been really fun and exciting and the story is moving along really nicely....much to my pleasant surprise :)

So I made my virgin attempt at a trailer and here it is:

High Society...Again

I was at That CD Shop today and found new albums added to the High Society series.

When am I ever going to have the whole collection like this??

I honestly love the sound and mixes they compile and I seriously hope to own more of them.

Right now, I only have Mansion, Passion 1 -3 and Eldissa. There are still so many to go!

Any nice friend wanna buy me some to add to the collection? :P X'mas is round the corner you know....hahahahahha

Rendition

Ah it's been a while since I watched a powerful and thought provoking movie. Thus, it delighted me greatly to have watched Rendition.

I am honestly surprised that someone dared to make this movie because one stands to offend a lot of people even if it's probably the bloody truth that everybody knows but no one wants to admit.

The story centers around a few families whose lives are intertwined and yet separate through the common theme of terrorism; The innocent man wrongly accused of being a terrorist and the trauma of his family on his mysterious disappearance, the angst of a Muslim family on losing their daughter when she runs away from her home to be with a boy who turns out to the protaganist terrorist of the movie.

The main theme in the movie poster is "What would you do if your loved one suddenly disappeared?"

I love how the storyline explained how seemingly different innocent people are affected differently by terrorism and yet stay very much within this theme. Instead of focusing on the cliche angle of innocent killed by terrorism, the movie went into the wrongly accused, the terrorist and the innocent in the other side of the world.

The imagery in the movie is provocative. The way the director directed the flow of the story is also excellent. I won't say how, just watch it for yourself to know the nice twist in the timeline towards the end.

I felt a lot of subtle and not-so-subtle sarcasm and questions in this movie. I applaude the director for first filming this in possibly a dangerous location. I also applaude the courage to pose the questions through this movie. It offers a very real look at terrorism, not just the violence, but also the very human aspect of it.

i will not go into too much of the thoughts it gave me. Do watch it and let the questions come to you. Definitely goes down as of my most memorable movies ever.

http://www.renditionmovie.com/

5am

I hope I won't spook you with this story that I am going to tell which happened to me.

I stayed up till 5.30 am the other morning as I couldn't get to sleep so I wrote. At about 5 am, I heard a loud thud.

Now, I have stayed up late very often. Yet, something was different that morning. I felt the chills after that loud thud. I felt shivers down my back and I felt very uneasy. I was a little surprised at why because I couldn't find a reason to.

Later when I came home, I found out a guy jumped from my block in the morning...

....probably during the time I heard the loud thud.


Oh gosh.

People, I can't tell you how spooked and cold I felt hearing the news. I had to watch a lot of mindless TV to get my mind off it.

When I think about it, I wonder how he felt at that instant he decided to take the step off the ledge.

I remember once, when I had also stared out the window and contemplated jumping out of it. The reasons for it? I don't want to go into it here. It's over but let's just say I was young and depressed.

We all say it takes more courage to live than to take your own life.

I agree.

Yet, I can also tell you...to take that step off the ledge takes a world of courage too, for that instant at least. I didn't have that courage and that's why I am here today. I am grateful for it.

I heard he's Malay. For him to choose to end his life on Hari Raya...he must have had great sadness.

May his soul rest in peace.

Eat Pray Love

A friend of mine was recently kind enough to buy me a book because she liked it so much and she believed I would like it too.

I LOVE this book.

The title is "Eat Pray Love - A Woman's Search For Everything" by Elizabeth Gilbert. It is an account of the author's love as she tries to find answers after a failed marriage and more importantly, find herself. The journey takes her to Italy, India and Indonesia where she slowly rediscovers happiness.

I found myself laughing at the healthy dosages of humour, tearing at moments of emotion and inspiration, learning through tidbits of information and fact - This book is truly marvellous as the author takes us into the world she sees and the world that evolves from within.

Perhaps more than anything, I love this book because I saw so much of myself in it. Everything from how she fell apart, how she admitted her weaknesses, how she loved travelling, how she loved writing...everything. It's like my own voice speaking in so many ways.

I truly recommend it for anyone, not just female to read it if you have questions inside, not just about romantic love, but more so the love for life. If all that fails, she really has good bits information about the places she has seen :)

An excerpt:

"The Bhadavad Gita - that ancient Indian Yogic text - says it is better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of somebody else's life with perfection. So now I have started living my own life. Imperfect and clumsy as it may look, it is resembling me now, thoroughly. "

http://www.elizabethgilbert.com/eatpraylove.htm

I always believed and still do, that books come into people's lives (at least mine) for a reason. If there was a book angel, she is definitely being nice to me. She always gave me the right books at the right time. I always found the answers at the right time. This book has come to me at a right time too, just as I contemplate the person within.

I also found a truly encouraging paragraph on her webpage:

"Here’s another thing to consider. If you always wanted to write, and now you are A Certain Age, and you never got around to it, and you think it’s too late…do please think again. I watched Julia Glass win the National Book Award for her first novel, “The Three Junes”, which she began writing in her late 30’s. I listened to her give her moving acceptance speech, in which she told how she used to lie awake at night, tormented as she worked on her book, asking herself, “Who do you think you are, trying to write a first novel at your age?” But she wrote it. And as she held up her National Book Award, she said, “This is for all the late-bloomers in the world.” Writing is not like dancing or modeling; it’s not something where – if you missed it by age 19 – you’re finished. It’s never too late. Your writing will only get better as you get older and wiser. If you write something beautiful and important, and the right person somehow discovers it, they will clear room for you on the bookshelves of the world – at any age. At least try."

That's for the writer, artist, dancer, poet in you.