Tears For A Stranger

Today I was watching a funny video and I laughed till I saw the end "By Kayem7289".

I never knew.

I must have watched so many videos by her and laughed to it, not knowing it was her work. I must have read so many of her posts and saved so many of the pics she gave without knowing.

I never knew her and yet I felt like I saw so much of her around and how she continues to leave all these pieces of her behind.

This is a tribute made by Kay's sister, containing the excerpts of the words she wrote 2 days before she died.




Kay's Last Letter

-November 30, 2007! Woot!

Well, hey girls. If this entry is being read at this moment, then that means that fate has finally gotten to me. (It's about time, fate! *Shakes fist angrily at sky* LOL)I am writing this last entry today because I am not feeling too well at the moment, and yes, I know, we all get a little sick once in a while, but I just feel...Different this time. It sounds a little pessimistic, but I know, know, know that my time is coming, and any day now...I will back in my appa's arms, catching up on nearly nine lost years.

It's been 8 days since I said goodbye to the cyberworld, but this time, I'm saying farewell and good luck to everyone here in the real world. Or in other words, you earthlings xD! Sounds like an alien, huh? Just remember that this is Earth that we are talking about, our first life, our hardest life, and that the best is in store. Technically it's already December 1st because it's 2:04 am right now and I see the snow falling from the sky, and it makes me feel all jittery all of a sudden. I don't really like to play in the snow, but seeing the land covered in bright white, makes such an ugly world, look so beautiful and calm. It makes me forget about all the sadness and pain out there, just for a second as I gaze into the purified world. However, just like life, the beauty is only temporary, and before you know it, spring comes and new flowers bloom. What does this tell us? Life that seems like it has ended, is still there, just sleeping and waiting for the right time to reappear. I might not be here physically, but my thoughts, my wishes, my abandoned hopes; all still linger here, waiting to be fulfilled.

I dreamt of becoming a mother, a wife, an employee for a big company (lol), and even though none of them were probable, I still lived a wonderful, beautiful life. Who says fairy tales always have a happy ending? Who said beautiful movies or stories always had to end the way everyone wanted it to? The beauty of life is that it is mysterious, it's unfair, it gives us exactly what we don't want! It is all of a matter of how you look at it. Are you going to cry and sulk about how life is treating you unfairly, or live it to the fullest and rub it all in life's face [if he/she had one, that is].

"Hey, life! You're being an bubble gum, but I'm still happy! HAH!"
There's a greater prize waiting for us, but you'll have to earn it.

Please be kind to my sister, Cindy. She is just a 15 year old gal, trying to live a normal life, and is probably an emotional wreck by now.

I know that I always rely on her to bring the bad news, but remember, she's just my messenger, don't harass her for anything...Or bring up perverted thoughts! *Stares at perverted girls at the corner* Oh Cindy, my little naive dongsaeng, unnie is going to miss calling you every week...But try to stay strong and just remember that I'll always be your awesome unnie lol. I know that all the times we've seen each other recently, have been rather sullen, but the next time you see me, I'll be healthy! No more tubes connected to by nose, no needles in my arms and no wheelchair! I'll be that unnie you grew up knowing, the one who was never afraid of anything, the one who told you to live your life on the wild side! This goes out to everyone as well. Anticipate our next meeting, neh?

I'm so sorry, girls! I know that I am supposed to come back in ten days, but I guess I was dreaming too far ahead.

I really wanted to make it through one more Christmas, to spend with you all, and to make New Year's resolutions as well.

I guess I'll never have the chance to indulge in chocolates during Valentine's Day, or chug one or two beers for St. Patrick's Day, but at least all my wonderful girls still have that opportunity. Celebrate on my behalf, leave a cup of soda for me, buy me a box of chocolates lol, or maybe not...Your parents might get a bit weirded out about it all.

"I see dead people." OMO!

You know what I mean though...Don't take all these little things for granted, or you'll regret it when you get in my shoes one day. "I wish I would've eaten more on Thanksgiving last year," or "I really should've bought my mom that gift she wanted for Christmas." I beg of you, girls, please, life is not a game where you can just go move by move hoping for the best. You must think everything through and through, make all your decisions count!

No tears! You guys are lucky I wasn't able to bash all your heads in with my plank lol. I don't want to see all those tears when I'm gone, just think about all those great times we've had.

As long as you don't erase me, or my existence, I'll always be alive.Keep living, keep dreaming, keep wishing, keep hoping, keep breathing and keep waiting...For me.

Before you know it, we'll be having conversations again like nothing ever even changed. I'll be waiting for you guys up there, don't keep me waiting too long, okay?

Holy crap this is long! My last message and it's so asdjklasdf long lol, sorry if I bored you to death!

Peace out homes! Lol, I'm a gangster now, apparently.*Blows everyone kisses*

<3>



This part really got me crying...

"Life that seems like it has ended is still there, just sleeping and waiting for the right time to reappear. I might not be here physically, but my thoughts, my wishes, my abandoned hopes; all still linger here, waiting to be fulfilled."

I cannot begin to imagine the dreams that the 18 year old Kyung Min had...all abandoned.

People, life is really too precious to be lived in any way that is less than the most we can and want to be, in any way that is less happy than what it deserves...

May your days be lived to the maximum of your dreams and hopes.