Great Expectations

Nov 16

Recently I have playing Aunt Agony to a couple of my friends. Maybe it’s about seeing clearer when you are an outsider or maybe I grew wiser. Suddenly things just become a lot clearer about how things are between people and the issues that are really important.

As human beings we all have expectations. There’s a fine line however between realistic expectations and pushing things. We all like to have things our way but maybe sometimes that’s just being unrealistic. I realize how a lot of things can be simplified by managing and communicating CLEARLY what these expectations are, be it work or personal.

I do realize too that sometimes we say we want certain things out of someone or some situation in order to feel happy. It was strange that when I asked what the things that would make the person in question happy were, there was no clear answer for me. Perhaps sometimes we are asking for happiness without even knowing what we want? Without knowing what we want, will we ever find contentment or satisfaction in fulfillment of an expectation because that expectation was never clearly established in the first place?

No one is perfect. To me the perfect one is finding the one who’s perfect with imperfections. To want a person who is driven probably means less time, stubbornness and pride. It comes in a package and there’s no way to take the things one likes only. In the first place even we ourselves are not perfect. Not realizing this is basically what I call setting up expectations for disappointment. Of course, it’s never a one way game. It works both ways and that’s where communication comes in.

What’s communication? To me communication is when two people communicate their expectations to each other and come to a clear understanding on whether they meet or do not meet. They know how to deal with it after. Just talking about it is not communicating. Just throwing it out of your system is not communicating because the message never got across in the first place. I think this is not my best department right now so don’t think I can comment much on this except less pride, more patience goes a long long way.

Someone asked me today will I do a relationship without the emotional bit now. I don’t know if the reader understands what this means but my answer was “Yeah why not...but there must be a clear understanding”. By that I mean clearly communicated expectations. Knowing clearly where the relationship stands and do not stand. Actually on a side note, I think such an arrangement may be pretty good for me. I am not in the mood for heavy things neither do I have the time. However, in the absence of clear expectations, it would be thanks but no thanks. I have seen how disastrous the lack of communication of expectations can be and I don’t want to go that way. If things go a good way, well good then. No mind, heart or time to think too much. Light and simple sounds pretty good now *laughs* I sound like I am talking about salad *laughs*