Kinda Sad, Isn't It?

I am gonna whine a little.

I have always regarded myself as pretty independent but there are times when I do wish for support from those who matter. I know they can't always be there but there are certain times and stages in life where you wish that those who matter are there.

I always look back and regret I wasn't there for my buddy when she first started out in MLM. I wasn't there when she was struggling to make her business a success. I wasn't there when she needed my support the most. I was there to witness her success but I wasn't there to hold her during her climb. This till today, remains a regret.

It's strange really. I don't know why but it seemed that during most times when I really hoped for the support of those who matter, it wasn't there. Sometimes they were, but most of the time, it had to come to a point where I was crying for help. For the times that they were there, I truly am grateful and I feel blessed.

Sad things aside, there are also important things in my life that I hope to share with those who matter because I cannot possibly share my life without it.

Recently, writing has become a very big part part of my life. If one were to ask me to share about my life, writing would definitely be a part of it. Yet, I realised recently that if I were to ever publish in future and if I were to write a page of acknowledgment of thanks to the people who have stood by me all the way, there would be few of the names I hope to see there.

I am guilty of it too. I sometimes forget to be there when I am needed. But the truth is, when that stage passes, there is no way you can share that anymore. The time has passed and so has the opportunity. As time passes, I stop sharing because I don't know how to share it anymore. Just like when I failed to be there, I missed out on a big part of that stage of her life.

If I were to ever look back and write that page of acknowledgment for the people who have stayed with me all the way, I would not be able to write my family or most of my close friends in real life. Instead, it would be filled with nicknames of people whom I don't even know their real names, people from all over the world who have read, commented and encouraged me since day one.

I understand that everybody's busy and my parents can't really read English so I can't really expect people to be there but sometimes it does feel a little sad that it is perfect strangers who understand the love in my life more than the people whom I thought would understand. I really don't blame them because I have learnt to accept it. It simply means I have to learn to be a better storyteller and/or a better friend.

But still, for the times that they were there, I am truly blessed.