The Law of Assumption

Ok someone said my posts very long, don't want to read. Well too bad, I told you before I am a verbal thinker. I think and sometimes I share my thoughts. I like to read, so this is for people who are willing to take a bit of time out to read though I can't claim to be some fabulous writer la *chuckle* Now, back to topic of the day..

Assumption. A simple word everyone knows. You learn it in every subject imaginable - physics, chemistry, finance, economics and so on. In the dictionary, the meaning of assumption goes something like:


The act of taking to or upon oneself: assumption of an obligation.
The act of taking possession or asserting a claim: assumption of command.
The act of taking for granted: assumption of a false theory.
Something taken for granted or accepted as true without proof.
Presumption; arrogance.
A statement that is assumed to be true and from which a conclusion can be drawn.

I often notice how we as human beings like to use assumptions as a basis for which we draw conclusions. After all, it's the way we are educated. There's nothing wrong with it. Personally, I tend to draw conclusions, think and behave based on certain fundamental assumptions. If certain fundamental assumptions change, my thinking and behaviour may change very fast very dramatically, so much that it is hard to believe, even by myself.

However, I also noticed how easy it becomes for one to assume and especially when conventional wisdom comes into play, one often easily assumes something to be true because it usually is and may not be because it really is. Even the meaning in the dictionary says so:

Something taken for granted or accepted as true without proof.

I notice as we grow up, we pick up a lot of what I would call conventional wisdom. Things that should happen one way because if A happens, B usually does and C usually results or if A happens, it means someone must be thinking of B and thus C must be true. One may disagree, but frankly I see a lot of it happening around and very often, it is exasperating and sad to see.

I don't blame people for it because I do it myself too. However, more and more I notice if you happen to not behave in conventional way for certain things, it becomes painful when it is assumed you do. A friend whom I trusted deeply to assume I had betrayed his trust because it looked so, someone who assumed I was thinking certain narrow minded things because any girl in my situation would or that because certain people have done certain things in the past before, when certain signs popped up, the outcome must be the same with me as well. It doesn't matter what the truth is or who I really am or have done before that may be completely different from these assumptions. It doesn't matter if you may be screaming what really is in your mind or heart because it's just like shouting into a black hole. The black hole of assumption.

It's true, we choose we want to believe. In fact, I have also heard the argument that one can convince oneself to believe what he or she wants to believe and that what comes out of his or her mouth is not necessary the truth, but the truth that he or she has convinced himself or herself to believe. Thus, the assumption must therefore be the truth instead of what the person is saying. I am sure it happens, we are all human beings after all. However, why MUST the assumption necessary be the truth? Why can't what the person says be the REAL truth?

To me, it comes back to a matter of trust. There are times when I hear friends tell me things about themselves. There are times I suspect what they feel is frankly different from what they are saying.
There are times when assumption sets in. But there are times I also say to myself, if this is really the case, if he or she really wants me to believe this, there probably is a reason to it. I learnt this, very often, the person in question already knows the truth and don't need me to further impose it. However, the question is, if someone tells you this is the truth, will you choose to believe the person or not? Will you choose your pre-conceived notions or what is in front of you? Not always a clear decision it seems.

As humans, we will always assume, whether we like it or not. However, I have learnt the pretty hard way, being on the receiving end of lack of trust and too much assumption sucks. Big time.