The Search

Recently, a friend of mine had been contemplating career choices and one of the topics we talked about was happiness.

She said that for the past 12 years of her life, she had been living under the fear of not having enough, not earning enough. Hence, she always chose a job that gave her that. There's nothing wrong with it but now after 12 years, she says she realised that she has not been and is not happy. I wonder if it is the fear of not having enough or the pain of not doing what she liked that was talking. She isn't the only one who has told me the same thing over the last few years.

Happiness is something people often search their whole lives for. People feel happy for different reasons. Some people feel that happiness comes with a price. Some people feel that happiness comes for free. I like to think of it as a little of both.

To me, happiness is like air. It's always around and you don't have to pay for it most of the time. Happiness arises even in the smallest of things- a good day with clear blue sky, a good meal, a good chat with a dear friend. There are many opportunities for happiness. If that is the case, why do so many people feel unhappy? I am inclined to think that we like unhappiness more than happiness because we seem very happy to live with it.

There are times you can buy happiness. I sure feel very happy when I buy something I like or know that I have the ability to buy something I like. Yet, there are times you can't have it even if you paid for it.

There are times when happiness comes with a price - when it requires much sacrifice, whether from oneself or from another. The thing is, most people tend to focus on and require this area of happiness more than what little everyday joys can give. Most of the time, it requires a choice, a sacrifice of time, effort or money. What I do see more often is that even when a choice of happiness was available, people would walk away from it. That friend of mine said that another friend of hers had encouraged her to set up her own business because it was rewarding. I say, if you like it, anything is rewarding.

I think happiness is a combination of many things - expectations, desires and choices. Just do what you like, find joy in little things, take contentment in achievements even as you look to the horizon and make wise choices. Awfully simple and even more awfully cliche but it's amazing how we so often not do it, isn't it?