Thank you...What do you think men/women want?

I saw a friend I had not seen in a while just now. To my surprise, he told me he had been following my blog. Both of us had no idea how he discovered my blog.

"Hey I been reading your blog! You write some of the deepest stuff."

*blush*

"I travel a lot but when I come back I will go read. "

"You have an alternative career as a writer. Go on writing, there are people like me who read your stuff."

Frankly I have a lot to work on in terms of writing but I am really happy people actually read the stuff I write and it actually gets them thinking here and there. It really made my day!Thank you, I will work on my writing more :)

Well I shall try to write some thoughtful stuff here *laughs*

Last night I had a chat with a friend and he asked if I was seeing anyone. He suspected I was...that's a good thing I suppose because it probably means I look happier. I think many people have been hoping for me to look happier so maybe I finally am looking happier?

No, I am not seeing anyone and I feel at peace and happy for it.

I think for the first time, I am at peace with being myself. Some people see it as resignation to fate, I see it as finding ease with oneself. I don't feel the need to be with someone to feel complete or whole. I don't lament about not finding someone (jokes aside) and if I don't , I will probably stay this way. Maybe I am too happy being single.`Happy here means I don't feel sorry for myself.

Of course it's nice to have someone and it will probably bring me another kind of happiness. However, before I find that stage of life, I am quite satisfied to enjoy this stage. If there was one main thing I got out of my last relationship if you can call it one, it was to go with the flow of things.

I remember reading that men like to date older women because they are more sure of themselves, what they want and need less reassurance. I think a woman will need some kind of assurance at any age. It simply reduces with age because we start to understand some things cannot be forced against one's will and we start to realise what we want and what we are worth.

I cannot say I know for sure I know what I want in this department because one could plan all she liked and life could turn out the other way. However, I am starting to understand what works for me and what doesn't and understanding the difference between finding middle ground versus compromising oneself. I find when one is younger, the latter tends to happen more easily or maybe we simply have more pride as we get older.

I remember reading this quote that I cannot agree with more:

"Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy."

Perhaps the same holds true for a man? So many women tend to lose themselves in the first part that they completely lose sight of the second part. I know because I was guilty of it before. How does one love someone before knowing how to love oneself? How does one make another happy if one does not know what makes oneself truly happy? I would like to work on that second part now. :)

I had a chat with a guy friend just now and asked him would he prefer a smart, independent woman or a woman's woman i.e. your nice gentle stay home wife type? I am not saying they are mutually exclusive but just wanted an opinion.

He said men would like to come home to a woman, a woman who can care for him. It's not that independent women are undesirable, because men will want their women to be independent (to a certain degree) but its simply when a woman is successful, they tend to have traits that turn men away. The woman may be too strong, assertive or demanding.

I always hear men saying they want their woman to be independent. Frankly , I think they want a less independent woman than what they think or perhaps to their convenience. When a man wants to be with his buddies, his woman better be independent and when he needs her, she better be available. Like they say, a woman who can be a mother,wife, career woman and a seductress all in one. Rememeber that song that goes "I'm a bitch, I''m a mother, I'm a child, I'm a sinner, I'm a saint... "

End of the day, it appears to me no matter what men say, they want a woman who is available when needed, able to stand on her own when not needed, able to groom a man's need to be macho, and perhaps a woman they can't have. Men who claim to be playboys may be more decent than expected and those who claim to be loyal may well revel in the challenge of a fresh woman they can't have.

After all, no one is perfect right?