5am

I hope I won't spook you with this story that I am going to tell which happened to me.

I stayed up till 5.30 am the other morning as I couldn't get to sleep so I wrote. At about 5 am, I heard a loud thud.

Now, I have stayed up late very often. Yet, something was different that morning. I felt the chills after that loud thud. I felt shivers down my back and I felt very uneasy. I was a little surprised at why because I couldn't find a reason to.

Later when I came home, I found out a guy jumped from my block in the morning...

....probably during the time I heard the loud thud.


Oh gosh.

People, I can't tell you how spooked and cold I felt hearing the news. I had to watch a lot of mindless TV to get my mind off it.

When I think about it, I wonder how he felt at that instant he decided to take the step off the ledge.

I remember once, when I had also stared out the window and contemplated jumping out of it. The reasons for it? I don't want to go into it here. It's over but let's just say I was young and depressed.

We all say it takes more courage to live than to take your own life.

I agree.

Yet, I can also tell you...to take that step off the ledge takes a world of courage too, for that instant at least. I didn't have that courage and that's why I am here today. I am grateful for it.

I heard he's Malay. For him to choose to end his life on Hari Raya...he must have had great sadness.

May his soul rest in peace.

Eat Pray Love

A friend of mine was recently kind enough to buy me a book because she liked it so much and she believed I would like it too.

I LOVE this book.

The title is "Eat Pray Love - A Woman's Search For Everything" by Elizabeth Gilbert. It is an account of the author's love as she tries to find answers after a failed marriage and more importantly, find herself. The journey takes her to Italy, India and Indonesia where she slowly rediscovers happiness.

I found myself laughing at the healthy dosages of humour, tearing at moments of emotion and inspiration, learning through tidbits of information and fact - This book is truly marvellous as the author takes us into the world she sees and the world that evolves from within.

Perhaps more than anything, I love this book because I saw so much of myself in it. Everything from how she fell apart, how she admitted her weaknesses, how she loved travelling, how she loved writing...everything. It's like my own voice speaking in so many ways.

I truly recommend it for anyone, not just female to read it if you have questions inside, not just about romantic love, but more so the love for life. If all that fails, she really has good bits information about the places she has seen :)

An excerpt:

"The Bhadavad Gita - that ancient Indian Yogic text - says it is better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of somebody else's life with perfection. So now I have started living my own life. Imperfect and clumsy as it may look, it is resembling me now, thoroughly. "

http://www.elizabethgilbert.com/eatpraylove.htm

I always believed and still do, that books come into people's lives (at least mine) for a reason. If there was a book angel, she is definitely being nice to me. She always gave me the right books at the right time. I always found the answers at the right time. This book has come to me at a right time too, just as I contemplate the person within.

I also found a truly encouraging paragraph on her webpage:

"Here’s another thing to consider. If you always wanted to write, and now you are A Certain Age, and you never got around to it, and you think it’s too late…do please think again. I watched Julia Glass win the National Book Award for her first novel, “The Three Junes”, which she began writing in her late 30’s. I listened to her give her moving acceptance speech, in which she told how she used to lie awake at night, tormented as she worked on her book, asking herself, “Who do you think you are, trying to write a first novel at your age?” But she wrote it. And as she held up her National Book Award, she said, “This is for all the late-bloomers in the world.” Writing is not like dancing or modeling; it’s not something where – if you missed it by age 19 – you’re finished. It’s never too late. Your writing will only get better as you get older and wiser. If you write something beautiful and important, and the right person somehow discovers it, they will clear room for you on the bookshelves of the world – at any age. At least try."

That's for the writer, artist, dancer, poet in you.