Woman

Today a student told me it's so charming to be an instructor....that I am very engaging *laughs out loud* It's the first time I've ever heard this...I hardly feel charming or engaging counting 1,2,3, 5, 6, 7...I think it's the halo we give to teachers, instructors and celebrities *laughs*

This song grows on you...



Woman
By Big Mama

It was hard for me to live
because I was being hurt by the painful and sad seperation

I wanted so much to love again
Because I'm a woman looking for a place
where my delicate and worn heart may rest

If you love me, I don't ask anything of you
All you have to do is embrace my cold heart

Don't ask me, like a fool,
if I've already forgotten the seperation that was buried so deep.

Because I want to forget, I'm trying to
fill up my empty heart that's been wounded
by abandonment and been gouged by love.

If you love me, I don't ask anything of you
All you have to do is embrace my cold heart

Don't ask me, like a fool,
if I've already forgotten the seperation that was buried so deep.

Afraid that the tears that I've swallowed
might gather in my mouth and burst
I can't answer you when you ask
if it's okay to love me over and over again.

If you love me, I don't ask anything of you
All you have to do is embrace my cold heart

Don't ask me, like a fool,
if I've already forgotten the seperation that was buried so deep.

I don't care when and who
Like a habit, all I have to do is cover my tears.

Don't tell me that I love too easily
and that in the end I'll be the only one hurt.

Stolen

I stole this from a friend's blog...but if it was stolen means it is probably worth a read :P

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Ramblings Part II - On the Balance of Logic and Emotions

There is a rather prevalent belief out there, that emotions are bad, and logic is good.Here's what I think.

Bollocks.

Emotions at the end of the day, tell you what is really important to you. Decisions are mostly made according to what is important to us. Why are these things important? They just are.

Someone I really respected said that the beginning of love and hate is the end of logic. True. There is no good reason why we love something, or someone, and not another. Why we are attracted to someone, or something.Emotions, and feelings in essence, give us DIRECTION, priorities, and meaning.

Logic is a wonderful thing. The way that human logic works, is to justify the things that you have already decided on.The world as we see it is a reflection of what we "know" to be true. Points of reference that we believe to be "a sure thing". Logic just finds a way to connect those points into a picture, so that at the end of the day, we can comfort ourselves and go, "See? It all makes sense now. It's so LOGICAL I don't understand why you just don't see it."

All in all, there's got to be a balance, as with most things in life.Where is that fine line where you draw? I don't know. You have to decide yourself. Me? According to an in-depth character analysis, I am 51% feeling, 49% logic. A balance you say?

Possibly. That just means, that instead of having at least one half of the world agree with me, I manage to piss off both halves.

Brilliant I say, abso-fucking-lutely brilliant. Won't have it any other way. Heh

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My little additions: Logic tells one the things one should do. Emotions tells one the things one would like to do. What one likes may not always be the thing one should either for the sake of morals or long term good or whatever logically reasonable reason one can think of. Maybe this is a simple basic formula for happiness?

LIKE (EMOTION) + SHOULD (LOGIC) +ACTION = HAPPINESS?

Lonely Journey

They say no man is an island.

It's true but what about life?

I slowly come to see life in itself, the very essence of life itself, is a lonely journey.

I am not saying one is alone. What I am saying is as one goes through life's stages, it is possible to share an experience but not live it together...not even the love of your life.

When one loses a loved one, one may be surrounded by a bevy of loving family and friends willing to lend a shoulder but they can't be with you 24 hours a day. Even if they were, they can't share the extent of one's pain. It simply is not possible because they are not you. The closest thing is empathy. Empathy cannot replace experience.

You can smile and try to laugh with them. Truth is you may feel better but it probably will not take away the feeling of pain and emptiness.

This is a road that has to be walked alone. Family and friends can only walk with you on the side pavement but not share your road beause they cannot have your life. They can only try to make it less lonely and help you to push on so that you may find your own answers.

However, it is in walking this road and finding the roads to come that will produce the greatest happiness..real happiness. Roads that were not dictated by other's wishes, magic predictions or illusionary wants, but real answers forged through the blood and tears of joy and pain in life.

May we all find the true answers meant for us.

Eve Notebook - Break Away

A friend recommended me this video in the last comment and I really find it a nice song, video and not to mention great voices. Watch it to the end for the interesting twist :)

Look Away

Hmm will this be able to be turned into a song? Hmmm....

Don't come this way
When you chose another so long ago
Don't turn back and expect me to be there
Cos I ain't waiting there no more

That familar junction of yesteryears
That old place where I waited
That same place is no longer so
Honey, I have left and moved on

I didn't find eternity
But I had been to new roads
Even found some new junctions
So honey turn around and go

Don't hold my hand like you want it
Don't hold me like you never had
Don't say you miss me
Don't look this way, not this way

Don't come my way
Not when you were the one who gave up
Don't think yesteryear is coming back
Cos' honey I have moved on

How To Avoid The Sun...But Not The Dreams

And you guys say I am a mad fan. Ya sure I like Bi a lot but...

My spiritual teacher tells me I should go to Korea.

My friends want to have Korean food for dinner.

My performance team folks send me Korean hip hop videos.

Er even if I avoid, Korean wave is all over around me.

AND there's a ticket for his showcase in Seoul that a gal in HK can let me have if only I could go!!! It's so hard to get tickets!!!!! I want to go but I can't!!!!!!! *incredibly sad*

The reason I can't go is because there is a major performance for Singapore Salsa Festival on 15 October.

Talk about salsa.

My legs are aching like hell today because we had a busy day. It was En Motion's opening at Tanjong Pagar :D It was very tiring doing all the preparation and running the whole event. We have a lot of work to follow up even after today. We are all tired like hell but I think we all agree, we are HAPPILY tired.

I think being with En Motion has opened up the dreams I left in a dusty shelf in my head. I was already letting dance slip out of my life, left the dream that HOPEFULLY someday I can dance in a concert even just once, do some fashion, do a dance production etc.

Recently, I asked a fellow dancer if she had a chance to dance in a musical (she prefers to dance in musicals), would she give up everything she has now to go? I asked myself the same question. Honestly, it is a difficult question...but I have a nagging feeling that I just might do it.

How about you? Will you give up everything you have now if the chance for you to realize a dream came for you?

Now I am getting back to dance again. I am thinking of maybe attending classes at Singapore Dance Theatre so I can improve my jazz. I am going to start my Latin classes soon. The rest..well...will pray and let life happen :)

And as always, the mad Korean fan ( my friend says she never thought she will see this side of me, she finds it cute keke) has to share a good song :)

I chose this song because I like the introduction and because I understand these lyrics very well. I bet some of you do as well :)


How To Avoid The Sun
By Rain

The image of me crying
The foolish image of myself
I hate the sun that shines upon the ground(I hate the sun)
If anyone recognized me
And asked why I was crying I
I really hated not being able to answer(I really hated it)

* I wanted to avoid the sun
No matter how hard I ran
The sun was always overhead
I really wanted to forget you
No matter how hard I tried,
No matter how hard I tried you were still inside of me

I really hated to still miss your
Smile and the hands that touched me(I really hated it)
Inside of so many people
While they laughed and shared stories
I tried to forget you
But again, tears fall

*Repeat

Everyone thinks that I forgot
But I think that I’m going to go crazy
I really want to forget
I really want to erase my memory
But it’s not working…

*Repeat x2

Like a thorn that is stuck so deep that you can’t take it out
Like a scratch that was hurt so much that it will leave a scar
A person like you can’t ever be erased
Even though we’re apart, it seems like we’re still living together
If only I could erase you by crying
I cry so much that it’s enough to make a river
Even if I live, I want to forget you and live correctly…
I want to live normally…
I want to live normally…

Bi is so talented *grin* Like I told my old bro, if he looked like Bi, had the same build, danced, sang and acted like him, I would be crazy over him too *laughs*

Sorry bro, unfortunately you don't ...*laughs even louder*

Eve Notebook - Epitome of Coolness

If the following videos do not leave your mouth gaping or stir some desire to dance, I don't know what will...




I love the way they combined breaking and hip hop with classical music...absolutely fabulous!




Damn neat man....Looks like flowing water...

I have half a mind to go Korea to study the dancing if I will be able to dance like that!

Thank you...What do you think men/women want?

I saw a friend I had not seen in a while just now. To my surprise, he told me he had been following my blog. Both of us had no idea how he discovered my blog.

"Hey I been reading your blog! You write some of the deepest stuff."

*blush*

"I travel a lot but when I come back I will go read. "

"You have an alternative career as a writer. Go on writing, there are people like me who read your stuff."

Frankly I have a lot to work on in terms of writing but I am really happy people actually read the stuff I write and it actually gets them thinking here and there. It really made my day!Thank you, I will work on my writing more :)

Well I shall try to write some thoughtful stuff here *laughs*

Last night I had a chat with a friend and he asked if I was seeing anyone. He suspected I was...that's a good thing I suppose because it probably means I look happier. I think many people have been hoping for me to look happier so maybe I finally am looking happier?

No, I am not seeing anyone and I feel at peace and happy for it.

I think for the first time, I am at peace with being myself. Some people see it as resignation to fate, I see it as finding ease with oneself. I don't feel the need to be with someone to feel complete or whole. I don't lament about not finding someone (jokes aside) and if I don't , I will probably stay this way. Maybe I am too happy being single.`Happy here means I don't feel sorry for myself.

Of course it's nice to have someone and it will probably bring me another kind of happiness. However, before I find that stage of life, I am quite satisfied to enjoy this stage. If there was one main thing I got out of my last relationship if you can call it one, it was to go with the flow of things.

I remember reading that men like to date older women because they are more sure of themselves, what they want and need less reassurance. I think a woman will need some kind of assurance at any age. It simply reduces with age because we start to understand some things cannot be forced against one's will and we start to realise what we want and what we are worth.

I cannot say I know for sure I know what I want in this department because one could plan all she liked and life could turn out the other way. However, I am starting to understand what works for me and what doesn't and understanding the difference between finding middle ground versus compromising oneself. I find when one is younger, the latter tends to happen more easily or maybe we simply have more pride as we get older.

I remember reading this quote that I cannot agree with more:

"Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy."

Perhaps the same holds true for a man? So many women tend to lose themselves in the first part that they completely lose sight of the second part. I know because I was guilty of it before. How does one love someone before knowing how to love oneself? How does one make another happy if one does not know what makes oneself truly happy? I would like to work on that second part now. :)

I had a chat with a guy friend just now and asked him would he prefer a smart, independent woman or a woman's woman i.e. your nice gentle stay home wife type? I am not saying they are mutually exclusive but just wanted an opinion.

He said men would like to come home to a woman, a woman who can care for him. It's not that independent women are undesirable, because men will want their women to be independent (to a certain degree) but its simply when a woman is successful, they tend to have traits that turn men away. The woman may be too strong, assertive or demanding.

I always hear men saying they want their woman to be independent. Frankly , I think they want a less independent woman than what they think or perhaps to their convenience. When a man wants to be with his buddies, his woman better be independent and when he needs her, she better be available. Like they say, a woman who can be a mother,wife, career woman and a seductress all in one. Rememeber that song that goes "I'm a bitch, I''m a mother, I'm a child, I'm a sinner, I'm a saint... "

End of the day, it appears to me no matter what men say, they want a woman who is available when needed, able to stand on her own when not needed, able to groom a man's need to be macho, and perhaps a woman they can't have. Men who claim to be playboys may be more decent than expected and those who claim to be loyal may well revel in the challenge of a fresh woman they can't have.

After all, no one is perfect right?

Moon-er

You Are From the Moon

You can vibe with the steady rhythms of the Moon. You're in touch with your emotions and intuition. You possess a great, unmatched imagination - and an infinite memory. Ultra-sensitive, you feel at home anywhere (or with anyone). A total healer, you light the way in the dark for many.

What Planet Are You From?

Yup the Moon is my birthsign planet too...Man they make me sound like a light stick.

Killer Look/Looks?

You Are Cyclops

Dedicated and responsible, you will always remain loyal to your cause. You are a commanding leader - after all, you can kill someone just by looking at them. Power: force beams from your eyes

Which of the X-Men Are You?

Why can't I be a woman??? Well anyway, if only I had the killer looks to go with the killer look...*beam beam*

Handshake

I came across an old song accidentally and as I watched the video, I had a sudden flashback of a scene that happened last year. Perhaps it was the song or the mood in the video, it jolted my memory.

Like we sometimes say, we may know something but we prefer not to see it in the face. The girl who knows her boyfriend is cheating on her doesn't want to see it happen before her... the man who knows his wife change of heart does not want to see it in his face and so on.

I think it's because we don't want graphic memories. I know I don't. Perhaps it's because I am visual so some things I prefer not to see so I will not remember. Like in this current flashback, I can still remember the scene clearly, where we stood, what we said. I think if someone had put this song while filming us, it would have made a nice MTV.

Anyway, craze aside, this really is a nice heartfelt moving song...



Handshake
by Rain

Those words...
lets separate, lets not meet each other anymore..
How can she say those words with such a calm face and voice?
How can it be so easy, does separation mean nothing to her?
How can she be smiling, how can 'it was fun' be all she has to say?

To me it was love
Even though it was only fun to her..
To me it was love
The first love i felt (the last love i will ever feel)

I was happy for the first time when i met her..
But for a reason i cannot understand
Shes trying to leave my side..
Does she always meet and leave like this?
Will the time we spent together just be one of her small happy memories?

To me it was love
Even though it is only a happy memory to her
To me it was love
The first love i ever felt

I stand here just staring at her hand she is holding out for me to shake..
if i make this handshake she will probably turn around..
Then what will i do..

Translation : Goro-chan and/or eebyul ( www.aheeyah.com )

Good Soundtrack

Goong has a very good soundtrack so I chose my favs and share them here. All off Youtube. I am too lazy to hunt for videos with different scenes so just bear with the repeats ok?

Perhaps Love
by HowL & J



The famous theme song.

Parrot
by Howl



This is the one many people like but don't know where to find.

You...I Are Fools
by Stay




This is translated as You...I Are Fools by Stay.

Viens jusqu'à moi
by Élodie Frégé & Michal Kwiatkowski (album "Élodie Frégé" 2004)



I chose this not because it's from the soundtrack but it's a nice French song that a fan had chosen to make this MV. Lots of scenes repeated from above videos but I like the song.

War of The Princes

Now now before I finish my writings on Hong Kong, I am am writing in response to my buddy who is rooting for Yul in Princess Hours....I am rooting for Shin! His real name is Joo Ji Hoon...hmm Rain also called Ji Hoon...

If you don't already know (it's really quite hard not to know), Princess Hours or in short Goong is the new No. 1 serial in Korea. It has gained immense popularity in Asia and has given its lead actors and new actresses huge breaks in their careers. JJH apparently has 20 scripts waiting for him after Goong despite this being his acting debut. Yoon Eun Hae, the lead actress is the new advertising darling. A brave step to use brand new faces for a highly anticipated serial that turned out well.

Why did I watch this K-Drama? I still not a full K-Drama fan. I watched it because it was adapted from one of my favourite mangas, Wo De Ye Man Wang Fei aka My Wild Princess. Ít's one of the best selling titles in Korea and probably Asia. Frankly the manga has more heart wrenching twists.

Here's the synopis adapted from a fellow blogger:

Princess Hours is a drama that starts with the interesting premise; ‘What if modern Korea were a constitutional monarchy with a king?’, and offers two types of fun; the romance arising between a noble prince and an ordinary girl, and the familiarity of all this happening in modern-day Korea. A perfect boy from a noble bloodline, with good looks and a sense of unpolished beauty has to marry against his will at the age of 17. An ordinary girl from an ordinary family, with a clumsy character, average grades and average looks oversteps the prejudice and barriers surrounding her. The process how they fall in love with each other unfolds with excitement.

The story evolves from the fact that Chae – kyoung’s grandfather was very close to the former monarch, whose wish was for her and Shin to get married. This gives some impetus to the otherwise unrealistic union of the two.

When the king’s illness gets worse, Crown Prince Shin receives an order to get married to his arranged marriage partner, Chae-kyeong. Shin realizes that there have never been personal choices available in the life of a Crown Prince, though he’s only nineteen. Prince Shin proposes to his girlfriend Min Hyo-rin. Taking it as a joke, Hyo-rin rejects him and takes off to practice for an international ballet competition. As a reult, Shin accepts the marriage as he does not care about who becomes the queen. To him, she’s not a person he’ll ever love anyways and she’ll just live in the palace like a doll.

Chae-kyeong has a dad who stays at home as a full time house-husband after his business failed and a mom who works as an insurance consultant.Chae-kyeong’s family, which was able to create happiness in the midst of difficult times, suddenly becomes in-laws with the royal household. To Chae-kyeong’s parents everything seems much more like a dream, as they see that the arranged marriage grandfather always boasted of become realized. Chae-kyeong was not willing to accept the fact that she has to get married at the age of nineteen, but accepts in the end to save her family from financial distress.

Chae-kyeong enters the Oon-hyeon palace, the palace of the new queen - bride, to get educated as the future queen. Shin, who visits the detached palace, is stunned by the beautiful presence of Chae-kyeong in her ceremonial dress. Over time, he learns to love her as she teaches him the meaning of living.

As the drama progresses, many other ‘fine’ men, including Lee Yool, a cousin of the royal family, make their appearance. The story of the two characters, who keep quarreling about structural problems such as the rules of the royal household in the midst of the difficulties of being a prince and of the arranged marriage, will unfold in an interesting way. The show’s fun lies in the episodes concerning the status gap that exists between a prince and an ordinary citizen.




Shin Chae-kyeong (Yoon Eun-hae)
An art major at an art high school who, one day, suddenly becomes the queen.She is an active girl with a bright cheery disposition. She was initially upset at marrying the Crown Prince Shin, a young heartthrob who fights with her endlessly over everyday issues. However, her affectionate feelings toward Shin grow once she starts living inside the palace and learns of the oneliness he experiences. Chae-kyeong quickly and profoundly observes the hidden desires and secrets of power found inside of the elegant palace better than anyone else. She becomes a central character that changes not only the palace itself but also all the other characters in the palace.


Lee Shin (Joo Ji-hoon)
The one and only Crown Prince of the Republic of Korea; the young man who will inherit the throne.He possesses the intelligence and appearance of the son of a bright king and a beautiful queen. Although he is irritated by the strict rules and dull life inside the palace and feels bored with his life, he has an intense and ongoing struggle with his own identity. Repelled by the fact that he has to spend his entire life as king inside the palace, he dreams of escape. When he starts learning what it means to be alive by looking at Queen Chae-kyeong, whom he marries without feelings of love, he gradually gains strength in life and starts to feel love towards her. Meanwhile, he has lingering feelings for Hyo-rin, his ex-lover, and confronts Yool, his rival, at every turn.

Lee Yool (Kim Jeong-hoon)
Sir Eui-sung; second-in-line in succession to the throne.Having spent most of his life abroad, he feels less aversion towards the palace than Shin, and due to his innate optimistic character, intelligence, and down-to-earth attitude, everyone loves him. While Shin is straightforward in his behavior, Yool thoughtfully and philosophically considers his actions. He feels deep affection and sympathy toward his mother, who had a difficult time in raising him alone, and therefore understands his mother desire for power. He himself slowly begins to express interest in the throne when he falls deeply in love with Chae-kyeong.



Min Hyo-rin : Song Ji-hyo
She is the beauty of the school who is also an extremely talented ballerina. She rejected Shin's wedding proposal thinking it's a joke. Her interest in becoming the empress and making Shin her own, grows when she discovers his marriage. She is hostile toward Chae-kyeong; the young woman who is her worst enemy, having stolen her dreams, and constantly attempts to recover her self-esteem and win over Shin's love. A character that provides an important change in the triangular and quadrilateral relationship composed of Chae-kyeong, Shin and Yool.







Frankly I was initially quite disappointed at the casting because Shin is supposed to be good looking despite being cold! Joo Ji Hoon isn't quite my idea of good looking though he does do the cold bit well. Yoon Eun Hae is well er dumb looking though that does fit the role well. Kim aka Yul is cute at initial observation. However, the two leads grow on you and they start to look better and fitting in the roles as the show goes. My take is they are the type that look better the more you look at them. There is now talk of them dating in real life which they did not agree or deny. For fans, check out Goong 1.5 in Youtube. Many fans agree they look good together.

Now though JJH isn't quite the good looking type, he was a model by profession and was in fact awarded the Best Dresser Model Award in 2005. Perhaps the pictures below may lend some enlightenment as to why. Ah I like brooding young men types LOL...look forward to more good performances from him in future.

Eve Notebook - Neko Goes to Hong Kong Chapter 1

I will post pics once I get the cable at home!

People say that Singapore and Hong Kong are very similar. Both are modern Asian cities with a small land mass and relative big population. Both are home to many MNCs and pride themselves on being important business and financial centres. No doubt one would find many big names as one would find in Singapore while shopping but to me, Hong Kong is very different from Singapore and holds its own unique charm.

The first thing that caught my attention on the way to the hotel from the airport was the proliferation of tall and I mean TALL buildings. So much for the fuss when the government wanted to build the Pinnacle at Duxton, there's probably a few of them here next to each other in the same area. At first I thought it was my error in vision but it turns out, many buildings in Hong Kong are bigger and taller to the point of some reaching the clouds. It appears reflective glass is the building material of choice here as many buildings reflect the light with their shiny exteriors.

Old run-down buildings are also a common sight in Hong Kong. It is very common to find extremely modern shops housed on the ground floor in an old building with contrasting poorly maintained housing right on top. Whilst shopping is characterised by big malls in Singapore, there are many small shops tucked in cosy corners here. For the capable curious shopper, this will yield many good unique buys. Hong Kong has your share of big malls but it's the small shops that really make it special.

The city is characterised by a slopey terrain in many areas. I absolutely believe that Hong Kong drivers are competent in driving along slopes. I saw one guy reversing his car on a steep slope and did it with great ease. Thus, it is common to find small stairs along many streets. It was such a terrain that produced the longest escalator in the world. The Mid Level escalators are not meant to transport you from one floor in a mall to another, they are found along the streets for commuters to move along the streets. For one used to using escalators indoor, this was an interesting invention if one could call it one.

Food is many a plenty in Hong Kong. One can find an eatery along any street and many in some. Today, we had Dim Sum at Maxim City Hall. I never quite thought soya beancurd was this delicious! Another notable food was the egg tart we got off a small famous bakery called Tai Chang BIng Jia. The crust was warm and biscuit-like while the egg was soft and warm....yummy! I hear the locals start drinks at6 after work, have dinner and then drinks again! Ah enjoy life keke...

The other thing one would find plenty of would be billboards and signboards. Compared to Singapore where neon lights are not a common sight, the complex picture of multiple signboards and lights was rather refreshing.

Though Hong Kong is not as neat and tidy as Singapore in terms of city layout and cleanliness, the city gave one a greater cosmopolitan feeling than Singapore. It gave the city a certain vibrancy and liveliness that was very different from back home. In fact, I think I could try to live here for a while.

Decision

I made a great decision yesterday...or more like realised one.

I made the decision to close a chapter which I would consider a great part of my life especially for the past one year. It was not that it had never crossed my mind, it was just that executing it just never found the right moment. It was a tough decision. Even now, a part of me wonder "is it time?".

In the past few years, I had more chances to say goodbye to many things and even people. For Cancerians, saying goodbye is a really difficult thing to do.

For a long time, I had wanted this opportunity. It came and it took up a great part of my life for the past one year. Friends were made, laughter and anger ensued. Promises were made, carried out, failed while lessons were learnt.

There was a whole lot of reasons that made my mind up. There was a whole lot of considerations that went into it. I had thought of the worst possible scenarios which will create big changes to my current life...the things that I may have to give up. Thus, for a long time, there was no decision. Leaving is never a fast, easy amd impulsive decision for me.

I decided to let life decide and I guess the moment had come. I only hope that good things will come in the days to follow.

Ooooh

Sometime back I wrote about an mtv that made my heart go faster.

Ok time for my girlie gushing.

Bi/Rain is sooooooo cute/gorgeous!!!! *hears whisper in background "wah lau this girl how old liao, ga-ga over young boy"*

Come on, a girl gets to be girlie right?

When he's not smiling, there is the bad boy cool appeal but he's got such a sweet smile!! *faint*

If only we get more of such eye candy! Deep husky voice...aiyyyoooh *faint again*

Reality. Demise.

Eve learnt it is really true. It is truly the people whom you care about, love and trust that hurt
you the most.

Eve learnt hypocrisy can surface right at the last place you expect it to.

Eve learnt that trust is a gift, not a right.

A Day in the Life of Neko-San

Neko-san has not been writing for a while. A friend had asked Neko-san to write about a day in her life so here it is...which would probably explain the absence from writing...

700 am - Rise and shine for morning trades at home... do work for other business too...

1230 pm - View property in town
Neko-san is not moving house! Am looking for a venuw for something coming up :) hope we find a place soon..

300 pm - Prepare paperwork for client in the office... case to look at for tomorrow!

530pm - Teach salsa for big MNC in Tanjong Pagar

700pm - Make up Muay Thai class...really need the workout too...or else Neko will become Garfield... There was more sparring today! I was thrown off in the ring too...heh first time I fell...fight-o!

930pm - Social salsa...need to show up in the scene more...

1145pm - Salsa school meeting... learnt some really good business startup info!

100am - Home Sweet Home...zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Neko-san has not seen much of her house recently...neither has she seen her parents for a while. Would really love to spend some time alone and with family. The running around is making Neko-san tired. Need to rest and vegetate before she bites *growl*

Sweet Surrender

I copied this off a friend's blog... thought it was a nice cute entry...small food for thought for the ladies :)

The surrendering date

Once upon a time, someone very close to my heart had told me that in order to be successful in attracting any man at all, was for the girl to surrender. Surrender all control to the man, surrender all need to critise, enjoy the simply pleasures in allow the man to be a man.
For example, at a restuarant, if the waiter accidentally spills soup on you, let the man take control of the situation. What should the woman do in this case? Nothing! Just sit there calmly and let the man handle the situation. It's a help the "damsel in distress" thing. However, should the man just sit there an do nothing about it, then calmly transfer you "damsel in distress" to the manager of the restuarant. At this very point, it would be very clear that you will be better off without your date. Should the manager come to your rescue, perhaps you should consider dating the manager instead.

Unfaithful

Would you tolerate unfaithfulness?

Or would you come to a mutual agreement to achieve a state of negotiated unfaithfulness?

Eve has been asked this question many times in a myriad of permutations. Frankly, Eve doesn’t think there are many, if any, men or women who will whole-heartedly encourage their partner to cross the line unless it’s a game.

Traditionally, men committing such an act were greatly frowned upon by women although in general, society seems to be more tolerant of men committing such acts as compared to women. This may be a passing judgment but now it seems that the trend in itself is changing.

Maybe women were just better at hiding it but it seems women are joining in as well. Today, it is as possible for a relationship to fall apart due to a woman’s unfaithfulness as much as it is due to a man’s fault.

There are many women who will not tolerate or forgive a man if he should ever cross the line. There is a new camp that is willing to “let it go”. A gal friend old me some time back that more and more of her gal friends are willing to close an eye if their boyfriends had committed one night stands, on the condition it is purely physical.

Call me cynical but Eve believes a man will have committed such an act once or came very close to it at least once during a committed relationship. The same applies to women as well. The thrill of new excitement is often too great for logical thinking to exist in the face of passion. Never mind if one loves his or her partner because lust simply has such a grip on humans. In the face of this possible occurrence, is it still realistic to wish for a one-woman-man or a one-man-woman?

Eve had never been quite sure on her stand with regards to this matter. Over the recent years, things began to get a little clearer on this front.

No, Eve has not reached the stage of encouraging her partner to “go ahead and do whatever you want” in this department. However, Eve believes that as responsible adults, one should have the ability to think for oneself. If one is able to commit an act that may possibly hurt his or her partner, he or she should have the realization that his or her partner will then have the right to do the same as well. It becomes free for all. The relationship may go downhill from there but there are people who find a balance. It all boils down to the state and understanding achieved in the relationship.

Will Eve accept it? Guess it all comes down to the health of the relationships and the circumstances under which it happened.

Will Eve do it?

Well Eve has not done it before but like they say…never say never.

Power of Pain, Pain of Power

Broken Nails.

Bruises.

Numbed finger.

Nope Eve ain't the subject of abuse...or self abuse.

What is it about Muay Thai that keeps Eve going back despite all those mentioned above?

As I am typing, I am starting to have some feeling in my little finger that had gone numb because I had punched too hard wrongly yesterday. I wonder if I have to see a sinseh. Hope not :(

It all started when I attended BodyCombat in gym. Maybe she always had some dream to be able to kick some ass so I really enjoyed the classes. However, my inner fighter was calling for more proper training. When the stress got so high, I brought forward this plan.

Thus, I punched and kicked my way through Muay Thai class the last few weeks . Ladies, if you wanna tone up fast, do Muay Thai. Every week, I worked my muscles harder than I ever had in a long time. Just one minute of sparring will bring forth enough sweat for other to think you ran 1km. Now, I totally believe fighters have AMAZING stamina. Fortunately I didn't suffer major injuries. The instructor was always cautious of safety. Injuries were simply a product of my carelessness.

The first few classes were tough. Getting the technique right and delivering it with enough power was difficult. When one first starts out, you'd always use too much force. The first time I kicked the bag expecting it to land what you see in the movies was indeed a fantasy. It was a huge ouch!

However, you slowly start to realise that power does not necessarily come from using greater force. Sure you need it but the technique helps a great deal. The kind of satisfaction one gets from hearing your kicks grow stronger and faster with time is hugely satisfying. It felt great when I saw the "woah and tired" look on my male sparring partner's face while practising packs with him, not to mention the shiok feeling of delivering five consecutive kicks with each one getting more powerful. The word is shiok. Pardon my Singlish, but there is no other word that can describe it better.

Maybe it is the power that comes along with it. I always liked how fighters can execute deadly kicks with such nice lines. It was in kicking that I realised how hard and painful it is to inflict pain on someone. It can hurt you more if you are careful. Remember all the movies where the hero will kick the bad guys like a pillow? The human body is not that soft. I didn't kick a human body to know (though I did accidentally kick softly). It was in the impact from fighting bags and sparring that taught me that.

I remember a scene from a movie where a kid had stolen a gun and was attempting to shoot it at the owner of the gun. It was locked and hard to shoot.

At this point, the owner asked "Heavy, isn't it?".

The kid answered "Yeah.""

"That is the weight of human life."

I love the workout and workout that comes with it. Violence is not my kinda thing.

I am not a violent person...really.

*smile sweetly*

Forbidden Fruit

Eve came across this little thought last night.

When is the point you realise you have made your little step into so-called adulthood? That is if one can define adulthood in the first place. Frankly, there's a chance there is no defined line between childhood and adulthood. Eve came to one possible litmus test to see if one has "grown up". A simple one actually.

Temptations.

We get them all the time. Be it that rich chocolate cake when you are on a diet, that nice bag that will bust half your pay or that handsome man when you are in a relationship...a man other than your boyfriend of course.

Eve realise it's not a matter of the extent of temptation. Try to hang a chocolate bar in front of a woman in her PMS period. She will probably kill me. I nearly broke a gal friend's heart by asking her to choose lingerie for me because she liked them too. Temptations popped up from the day we had our first cry and will probably last till the day we close our eyes. Temptations started from the creation of Man (according to the bible here)...remember Adam and Eve and that all powerful apple?

When we were young, we were tempted by that new fancy toy on the shelve, the new bag the other classmate got, the pencil that had the latest cartoon motif. When we got a little older, the bag went from latest cartoon to latest brand and design in fashion. The new toy became the latest phone model and the pencil became the latest dress in style. When we got a little more older, the bag got pricier, the toy gained four wheels and the pencil became a black pen with a white flower motif.

Some temptations do cause us a little more distress because there are consequences. For example, you are in a committed relationship and you suddenly meet someone who causes you to think "what if?". That is the time one can almost see your inner angel fighting with your inner devil.

Eve wrote something about delayed gratification some days back. Perhaps this is the line between being young and reckless and not-so-young and reckless.

In youth we succumbed to our temptations more easily albeit for the lack of budget. Consequences were of little consideration or even non-existent. By little here, Eve refers to it in a relative sense to the amount of consideration one would take in the later bit of life. It was more of "Do now, think later."

When we got older, the amount of consideration increased across the board. We think more about doing anything and this extended to temptation as well. We think of the consequences much faster and with greater intensity. We push the brakes, stop and think a little harder...a LITTLE.

Perhaps that is the line between youth and adulthood. That little extra time taken to consider the decisions you make. To Eve, it is the difference between jumping in with your eyes shut or open. It is the difference between going in not knowing what you are getting yourself into versus knowing what one stands to gain and lose and then deciding the final course of action even if the action is wrong. It is the difference of being accountable and responsible for all the decisions one makes because there is little room for the excuse of "I didn't know".

Maybe the destination is all the same...it's simply the journey we take to get there that changed a little...a little :)

The Plan vs The Moment

Carla had always been goal-oriented. She always planned where she wanted to go, what she wanted to achieve and how to get there. She always saw the destination and planned it so that she could head right there.

Ashrya believed in living everyday like your last. She believed in experiencing every moment to the fullest. She felt that life would bring her to where she wanted or needed to go thus all she needed to do was flow with life.

One day, Carla and Ashrya had a chat. It came to the point where they were discussing on their outlook in life.

“I don’t get it Ashrya. How can you take things so easy? How can you lead life in such an aimless manner? Do you know where you are going to be in five years time or what kind of life you desire to lead?” Carla exclaimed.

“That’s exactly what I mean. I don’t know what is going to happen in five year time so why think so much about it? Why plan so much? Heck I don’t even know what’s going to happen tomorrow.” Ashrya replied.

Carla retorted, “Have you ever thought ten years down the road, you are just nobody with a measly salary while all your friends have gone somewhere in life? How will you ever reach your destination if you don’t know where the destination is? How do you feel happy when you don’t even know what you want?”

“Carla, you can plan the best plan in the world but if life stops tomorrow, all these grand plans will go nowhere. If life takes a different turn, your plans will have to change. Why not have a little faith in life and where it will lead you. Let go and try living the moment.”

“I am afraid I will take a wrong turn and end up nowhere,” Carla whispered.

“Carla, to you, finding and reaching that destination is what makes you happy. Enjoying the ride there is what makes me happy. You spend so much time trying to get there you forget to stop and smell the flowers. You spend so much effort looking ahead, you forget to look at what you have, the now and the present. I believe life will bring you to wherever you are meant to be at. Even if you don’t like where you are now, it’s just part of the journey. You are at wherever you are at whenever you are because you were meant to be there.”

Ashrya stopped for a moment and prepared to leave as she had to go back home.

Ashrya asked with a smile “Carla, you have always lived to plan, so when are you planning to live?”

Of Movie Quotes & Unreal Man

Eve came across a couple of nice quotes:

"The truth is I was dying to sleep with him but isn't delayed gratification maturity?" - Carrie, Sex & The City

I suppose when we were young, we just did whatever we wanted. As we grew older, we grew up and thus we needed to "think before we act". Plus side is you tend to err less but downside is you might miss it altogether. Delayed gratification = Maturity? What do you think?

"Life is simple; Make choices...and don't look back"- Han, Tokyo Drift

Eve likes this one. Simple and to the point.

Now of unreal man.

Eve read about a gal friend's boyfriend who woke up in the morning so he could cook her packed lunch aka like those bento lunch you see in those irresistibly sweet Japanese serials. It was not peanut butter sandwich or fried egg with sausages, but Taglioni with Seared Scallops, ok?! Looks like the stuff you get in restaurants....Such men are almost unheard of nowadays...simply because they are at the brink of extinction.

The same friend and unreal boyfriend has come to such a stage in the relationship where they can sit down at dinner, read books but yet stop from time to time, look up, squeeze each other's hand (aiyoh this is the stuff of movies), smile and continue reading. So comfortable and sooooo sweet.... these are the quality stuff that make Eve miss being in a relationship.

The times Eve does not miss being in a relationship is when she sees her troubled friends in relationships. Eve likes the peace and simplicity of her life now. Eve enjoys the freedom and the lack of need for guilt to a partner for anything she wants to do. There's no need to guess what the other party is thinking, plot how to keep his attention and his heart, cry over unclear situations or bad behaviour.

Nope Eve is not anti-men or anti-relationships. She loves them as much as she hates them. Eve will just take things as they come :)

Drift

"RAady, Set-O...GO!"

I love this part of Tokyo Drift bacause it is so cute.

Watching Tokyo Drift brings out my inner driver (or the lack of it) and a whole ton of memories. I remember a LONG time ago where the whole group of us would go to the arcade after school to perfect the art of drifting and we were all drift racers in our own right...in Daytona.

Daytona is almost like a classic. Over a decade later (yes I am old), one can still find Daytona in the arcades. It was so addictive to try and steer the course, beat time and of course, beat the guys at it. Will the expert course lady driver who used to have droves of men watching her drive in silence please stand up? You know who you are :P

We would crash in real life of course. Real life driving is different. I wish they would make machines based on real life driving techniques so I can have a go at it without crashing myself into bits. It would lack the thrill of course but hey, better than nothing. How many people have the money to race like that?

I absolutely loved the fashion. Loved the short skirts (which practically look like mere plasters across one's butt), fur coats, boots, heels.....ooooooohhhh. I don't think we will ever see this kind of fashion on Singapore streets. Guess we are still not as forward and bold as the Japanese.

With the lack of fancy cars, daytona anyone? :)

Eve Notebook - Xin Wang Hong Kong Cafe

It seems I am more destined to find good desserts these days.

For folks who like Hong Kong food, take a look at 6 month old Xin Wang Hong Kong Cafe over at Cineleisure. The menu left us bursting with excitement as there was something we wanted to eat on every page, a NUMBER of things on some pages in fact. Even before the food had arrived, we have decided to come back many more times to try everything.

The menu had everything from thick toast to noodle soup to shanghainese rice and snow ice. The reason for this is because they operate to 3am from Mondays to Thursdays and 24 hours over weekend! You could have every meal there!

In true Hong Kong fashion, the restaurant had its own "Four Heavenly Kings" - Mango Snow Ice, Crab Congee, Crab Fried Bee Hoon and Pork Chop Spaghetti. We will try them all someday. After all, who doesn't want a date with the four heavenly kings?

My friend had ordered the Diced Pork Mee Sua and me the absolute Chye Por Egg fan tried the Soup Noodle with Chye Por Egg and Pork Floss. On the side was Kailan with Wasabi Sauce. Yeah you heard me right - wasabi sauce. The Kailan came on a small hill of ice with a bowl of sauce with taste like a mixture of soya sauce and wasabi. This simple dish was truly surprising as the cold crunchy Kailan sent an exhilarating shock up your head with a dip in the sauce. Absolutely refeshing. However, as much as I liked this dish, it may have worked my taste buds so much that after that I had difficulty tasting the other food. Nonetheless. its a dish to try.

The lack of taste did not deter me from enjoying dessert which was Mango Snow Ice aka one of the Heavenly Kings. The tall hill of soft shaved ice was showered with a generous serving of mango puree and condensed milk, topped with small cubes of firm, sweet mango and finally a dollop of mango ice cream to sit on top of the yellow mountain. Think Ice Kacang with loads of mango and mango ice cream. The combination of sweet ice with bites of mango was heavenly indeed. We enjoyed it so much we finished it even though we were full and shivering from our cold indulgence.

I really loved it when they served our drinks in cold metal mugs. It keeps the drink cold and feels good to drink from it :)

The mood of the place was generally lively and I will definitely be back to try the MANY other stuff on the menu...and a date with the Heavenly Kings of course.

Reminiscenes of a mad fan infatuation

Well I was one of those gals who had dismissed Meteor Garden and eventually became a mad fan in the end. Yes I was one of those who went ga-ga over Dao Ming Si and it was also this show that started my love for manga and anime. Idol series nowadays simply don't have that charm anymore.

This song was featured in the movie a few times and I really liked it so thought of sharing it here when I heard it again recently...

Almost Over You
Sheena Easton

I saw an old friend of ours today
She asked about you
I didn't quite know what to say
Heard you've been making the rounds 'round here
While i've been trying to make tears disappear

Now i'm almost over you
I've almost shook these blues
So when you come back around
After painting the town,
You'll see i'm almost over you

You're such a sly one with your cold, cold heart
Maybe leaving came easy
But it tore me apart
Time heals all wounds, they say
And I should know
'Cause it seems like forever
But i'm letting you go

Now i'm almost over you
I've almost shook these blues
So when you come back around
After painting the town,
You'll see I'm almost over you

I can forgive you and soon i'll forget
All those shattered dreams
Although you've left me with nothing to show
Full of misery

Now i'm almost over you
I've almost shook these blues
So when you come back around
After painting the town,
You'll see I'm almost over you

To the Women...& the Willing Men

Got this from a friend's email...one of the forward emails with good advice :)

1. If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
2. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
3. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
4. Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be. Slower is better.
5. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
6. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends". A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.
7. Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
8. Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
9. The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
10. Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn’t marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?
11. Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
12. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.
13. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
14. You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.
15. Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are... even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
16. Never let a man define who you are.
17. Never borrow someone else's man.
18. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
19. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
20. All men are NOT dogs.
21. You should not be the one doing all the bending ...compromise is a two way street.
22. You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.
23. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.
24. Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.
25. Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are,
and y ou're always readily available to him - he takes it for granted.
26. Never move into his mother's house.
27. Never co-sign for a man.
28. Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

A personal contribution...An excerpt from an EXCELLENT book for women titled "Captivating" by John & Stasi Eldredge:

"Somewhere between the dreams of your youth and yesterday something precious has been lost. And that treasure is your heart. your priceless feminine heart. God has set within you a feminity that is powerful and tender, fierce and alluring. No doubt it has been misunderstood. Surely it has been assaulted. But it is there, your true heart, and it is worth recovering. You are captivating."

Eve Notebook - PS. Cafe

Location: Dempsey Road

Background: Dark isolated roads, creepy trees

Place: Cafe???

P.S. Cafe is tucked in one of the offroads from the already "ulu" Dempsey Road. When one is there, one will truly feel he or she is in some kampung because there is truly little lighting or signage that can direct one to this place.

Take a long wooden path (Ladies mind your heels!) to a brightly lit house that sits in the middle-of-nowhere with stylish decor. The ceilings are high and except one wall, long floor-to-ceiling glass windows take the place of walls. This gives the diner an excellent view of the outside and creates a feeling that one is in a place of nature.

Created by the people from Project Shop, the decor is simple but tasteful. Eve is absolutely upset she forgot her camera and had to take pictures with her phone. The moment one enters the place, one is greeted by a lounge area which will be excellent for little get-togethers followed by a row of inviting desserts. A white colour theme is used for the entire place which forms an excellent contrast to the green of trees around and plants within the restaurant. People looking for an intimate dining spot may want to look elsewhere as the tables are closely spaced and the mood is generally lively. A side point I noticed: They have pretty cute servers.

I was impressed by the time I sat down at my table and was anticipating if the food was going to be equally satusfying. the thought of wine crossed my mind as wine lovers will find themselves with a good array of wines to choose from for a restaurant.

Food selection was mainly Western (sorry I had to use this word because I seriously don't know how to classfiy this). We had skipped starters and went straight for the mains. Orders of the day included flamed prawn pasta and grilled fish of the day. The pasta was surprisingly light for a cream based pasta. The fish was tender but it tasted strangely similar to lavender which was a little odd to me and thus Eve did not get to taste the freshness of the fish. The tapioca chips atop the dish were nice and crispy.

We had nearly skipped dessert but thank goodness we did not because THE dessert was truly the highlight of the meal.

We were in the middle of conversation when the dessert, Southern Fudgy Choc Pecan Pie with Ice Cream arrived. The moment we tasted it, we stopped talking and said to each other "I think you come here for desserts" followed a resounding "mmmmmmmmmmm".

The dessert came as an innocent looking normal chocolate pie but how deceiving appearances can be! One would expect normal chocolate sponge cake texture albeit it being richer but the moment the chocolate enters the mouth, what one experiences is a rich, dark, almost thick paste-like chocolate that melts in your mouth. Fresh pecans provide a refreshing contrast to the richness of the chocolate. This has to be the most surprising chocolate anything I have tasted. I believe any decent chocolate lover will feel his or her heart palpitate at the sight of the tall chocolate cake that is twice as tall as a normal cake which we didn't get to try this time. Judging by the pie alone, desserts are a must try here.

Overall P.S. Cafe scored highly for decor and style. While the mains were average, the dessert ended the evening on a high note. A perfect place for cosy gatherings amongst friends with lively conversation.

雨思

雨，
是上天为我所下的泪水。
雷雨，
是它为我无声的呐喊而哭泣。
大雨，
是把心中无终的伤口流净，
让
哭不出
叹不尽
恨不了的爱与哀洗净，
等待雨后的晴天碧云。

Eve Notebook - AIAE

The 21st Asian International Art Exhibition 2006
"21 hosted by Singapore features more than 178 paintings, sculptures, digital and video works by important Asian artists from the region. The title of the exhibition reflects not only the number of successful presentations but also the theme – 21st century – to highlight the artistic responses to today’s global environment"

- Off the site of Singapore Art Museum

Too bad they didn't have brochures for this exhibition and Eve didn't want to steal picures...respect artists!

According to the history of the exhibition, AIAE had started out as a joint effort between several Asian artists which turned into such a hit that it was properly structured with a proper organisation to plan the exhibition which is held in a different country every year.

The works were arranged by country and it was no surprise to see that the works had differed in style across the different countries along with different themes. For instance, the Indonesian works had the tsunami theme popping up in some of the works.

Various forms of media were used such as acrylic, oils, metals, wool and even dried leaves. Eve loves unusual experimentation. There was one piece of work from an Indonesian artist that was a collage made from wool with dried leaves embroidered into the work. Another had a shovel pasted onto the work..no joke! It was a real shovel!

Eve loves to see old media used in different ways. Gone are the days where one can only associate ink and rice paper with traditional chinese painting. There were a number of bold works created using ink and rice paper that looked nothing like classic Chinese painting. Do not be mistaken, there's beauty in Chinese painting but it was refreshing to see that the artists had decided to do in a completely different manner with fantastic results.

AIAE can be viewed at:

1)Singapore Art Museum

Main Venue

20 July – 13 August 2006

2)Nanyang Academy of Fine Arts

80 Bencoolen Street

3)epSITE, Espon Imaging Gallery

501 Orchard Road #03-18/19 Wheelock Place

20 July – 20 August 2006

Eve has only been to SAM and will work on having a look at the other two venues!

Dream Life

Last night I was watching a Korean movie titled "Daisy". It was the story of how a killer and an interpol fell in love with the same woman, a sidewalk artist.

Favourite Korean actor aside, what really caught my heart was the lifestyle of the sidewalk artist.

Running an antique shop by day, sketching for living on the side on the streets of Amsterdam and painting and organising her own exhibition by night...what a life!

As I was watching her, unknowingly, I muttered "This will always be a regret in my life that I may never get to live this life."

When I said that, I stopped myself.

Well, nothing to feel majorly upset about...I could understand why my family did not want me to pursue the arts. I don't hate the eventual path I chose but it does make you wonder what if you had done something, how different life would have been? Of course, the movie doesn't show how the girl will survive with such irregular income and the other harsh realities of everyday living. Hey after all, IT IS a Korean movie.

It made me see how you can be swept by the things you see and hear and think a life you choose is the life you really want until one day the life you always dreamed of tugs at you but is no longer within your easy reach. I am glad I found the concept of financial freedom and the life that comes with it. But lately, the happiness I found in trying different things really made me wonder. Is the life I thought I wanted these few years really the life I want?

A little side topic on the area of revisiting...there are times one knows one has to leave the current situation and the people in it so as to let the storm blow past and allow all the negative emotions to go away. I recently had the feeling to meet the people in my past and make peace of which I have done so and will continue to do so. Some, welll...may have to wait for a long time or perhaps never.

Sticking with my current motto to do the things one wants to do, it's little surprise if I take one year off and lead the life just as she had led. Not impossible actually if I build enough passive income. Then, I will go be live this little dream somewhere down the road. Wish me luck :)

Angel

I always liked to sing this song and I think it is a really suitable song now..

Angel
Sarah Mclachlan

Spend all your time waiting
for that second chance
for a break that would make it okay
there's always one reason
to feel not good enough
and it's hard at the end of the day

I need some distraction
oh beautiful release
memory seeps from my veins
let me be empty
and weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight

In the arms of an angel
fly away from here
from this dark cold hotel room
and the endlessness that you fear
you are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort there

So tired of the straight line
and everywhere you turn
there's vultures and thieves at your back
and the storm keeps on twisting
you keep on building the lie
that you make up for all that you lack
it don't make no difference
escaping one last time
it's easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
this glorious sadness that brings me to my knees

In the arms of an angel
fly away from here
from this dark cold hotel room
and the endlessness that you fear
you are pulled from the wreckageof your silent reverie
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort there
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort here

Take A Bow

So the week has ended and I give my most sincere thanks to the people who have absolutely indulged me in a week of celebration. Frankly, I did think of slowing my pace over the week but only take off on the day itself but somehow it turned out to be an entire week of celebration. Thank you people, you have absolutely indulged me. As one can see from my previous entries, I have eaten waaayyyyy too much.

This year was a lot less buzz than last year. The days were characterized by many meals and chats. It was great catching up with the different groups of people in my life and sharing a meal along with what has happened in our lives. I laughed a lot over the week :)

This year, there were a few different things. I had only to worry about an expanding waistline (my poor friends who have lost a part of their wallets doing so... but I think I will be very broke especially in October)...there were great gifts, meals and experiences...no painful morning after or tears..(I did get wasted once and frankly do not want to remember how silly I acted).

Perhaps the incident to mark the fatefulness of this day in my life more than ever before will be the one where my dear friend met someone she had not seen in a year. The last time she saw this person was at my birthday as well. I can't quite describe how fateful this event is but we both know. It's really uncanny how life works.

During one of the dinners, I asked my friends what can they see me doing. They gave me answers that I knew only people who had known me for a really long time and knew me very closely, could tell me. It's so rare nowadays that it was refreshing to hear.

"What can you see me doing?"

"Hmmm...I think writing or art..you always had this artistic side in everything you did...hmm ya I can see you as a painter."

Another said "I can see you very successful in the fashion business."

I think it's kinda different from what many people who knew me much later and probably remember me as the business oriented sales gal. Frankly, even I myself forgot this part of myself for a long time and allowed it to drown along with life. Now they claim they want to see me with my tyrant of a niece so they can see a side they never seen before - clumsy me with kids *laughs*.

This year, I am happy for a few things. I am happy for getting in touch with many things I have put aside. I start to feel a little like I am living again.

I am happy I started painting and writing more. I am happy I took up Muay Thai which had always been a curiousity..it's been rewarding. I am happy I am resuming my bike lessons..I was totally inspired by a ride I got yesterday. I am happy I enjoy exploring my food and wine so much more..this I have to give thanks to some friends who are so particular about their food. I think what would top the year would be starting another language and taking up photography. That would put me a step closer to the travelling dream.

Most of all, I am happy for friends who have shown so much care. I feel like a baby...maybe I am like one to them :P

Thank you people and Thank you God.. *bow*